DontEvenReply.com
 E - m a i l s   f r o m   a n   a s s h o l e
Home    |    Top Rated    |    All E-mails (archive)    |    FAQ/Disclaimer    |    Donate    |    Twitter    |    Facebook



Glorious Master Translator
Posted at: 2012-04-23 17:29:34
Original ad:
I need someone who speaks japanese to help me translate something. wont take too long. please email me ASAP!

From Me to ************@***********.org:

Hi! You need Japanese translate? I Chan, I help you with translate.

- Chan

From Scott ******* to Me:

hey chan. so ok heres the deal. my cd player suddenly stopped working and i cant figure out why. for some reason the only manual i have is entirely in japanese. i took a pic of the page im pretty sure its the trouble shooting part. can you see if it says anything about no sound coming from the output?



From Me to Scott *******:

Ok, I find three thing may help you:

"Failure of Sound from Device"
"Skipping of disc for poor sound"
"Sound volume low very much"

- Chan

From Scott ******* to Me:

umm..what does it say for the failure of sound one?

From Me to Scott *******:

"Hello and thank you for chose glorious master CD player! Apologies many for trouble of product. To fix failure of the sound, follow step:

1. Unplug glorious master CD player
2. Plug glorious master CD player back in"

I hope this help!

- Chan

From Scott ******* to Me:

that doesnt help me at all. is that all it says?

From Me to Scott *******:

Oh no! Very sorry. There more steps to help you! Here:

"If still experience failure of the sound, your glorious master CD player possessed by audio demon. To banish audio demon, follow step:

1. Ignite seven candle
2. Pray to Benzaiten, Goddess of Music
3. Benzaiten will banish audio demon to eternal suffering
4. Try play CD again

If you fail banishing of audio demon, you failure. Much dishonor of family name. Suggest immediate death by Seppuku."

I hope you banish audio demon! Much luck.

- Chan

From Scott ******* to Me:

wtf? does it really say that?

From Me to Scott *******:

I just translate what you give.

From Scott ******* to Me:

no way it says that. what kind of useless manual is this? how is that supposed to help anyone?

From Me to Scott *******:

Very sorry, audio demon big problem with many CD player! I have sword, much sharp, good for seppuku. You want borrow?

From Scott ******* to Me:

wtf are you talking about. an audio demon? this is BS. are you screwing with me?

From Scott ******* to Me:

did i send the wrong page? i think this is the table of contents. can you look at this and tell me which page is the troubleshooting one? then ill send you that one



From Me to Scott *******:

That no table of content, that Sushi take-out menu! Try #16, Spicy Salmon Roll! Much delicious!

From Scott ******* to Me:

..........ok buddy. thanks for nothing you jackass



Later, from another email account



From Me to *********@*********.org:

Hey there,

I saw your ad and think I can help you. I majored in Japanese in college, speak it fluently, and lived in Miyazaki for two years.

Mike

From Scott ******* to Me:

thanks so much mike. i was talking to someone else for help, but idk what his problem was. dude kept sending me all this BS. anyway my cd player isnt working and the manual is only in japanese so i need help reading the troubleshooting part. i think the attached picture is the table of contents, could you see if it says what page the troubleshooting part is on and then ill send you that?



From Me to Scott *******:

You sent me a sushi take-out menu. Are you sure you have the right documents?

From Scott ******* to Me:

wtf!!! i dont know what is going on! it has a picture of the cd player on the front and then this is the next page. why would they put a sushi menu in there?

From Me to Scott *******:

Japanese instruction manuals are not like the American manuals you are used to. They often include advertisements, and I guess in this case, a sushi menu. Looking at it closer, it says "Thank you for purchasing this glorious master CD player. Why not order sushi while you enjoy music?"

Mike

From Scott ******* to Me:

well that is dumb...whatever. i think this page is the troubleshooting part because of the tables. am i right? do you see anything about there not being any sound?



From Me to Scott *******:

Yes, this is the right page. It says to unplug it and plug it back in.

Mike

From Scott ******* to Me:

yea i did that. nothing. is that it?

From Me to Scott *******:

Well, you're not gonna want to hear this, but it says your CD player is possessed by Amanojaku, or "audio demon." You should light three candles and pray to Benzaiten, the god of music.

Mike

From Me to Scott *******:

Scott? Were you able to banish the audio demon?

Share    
Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
Evangelintzf (2014-10-31 12:04:04)
Il ya aussi un nombre croissant de l'extérieur de la maison façonne service dédié avec des histoires vogue dans les guides que la majorité des femelles adultes préférés une variété d'âges,
Giselletxs (2014-10-31 09:42:24)
Dans environ der Rechnung, Meldete eine Gruppe, Kick the bucket aus Schafsfell rapport, Einer Bewegung, als der 1970er Sur latenten Jahren coûts impliquant propre tatouage étrangère Couper, Aust'dem hielt Variationen b Ugg Australie
RobertNept (2014-10-31 07:28:32)
m7 YSL High heel leather boots come in many shapes and sizes so for simplicity sake the boots being referred to throughout the article are knee high, handmade, black leather upper, leather lining and sole, 5" stiletto heel, pointed toe, with a sid
pldcerbis (2014-10-30 17:16:29)
<br /> Law of Earth Ogo Chinese goods Pai Longchamp this season again next meeting back Deli. Plum Melanie (Audree Marnai) class 2011 Fall advertising Barrister people. Why highlight fashion and art photographer when Bill wheat animals . Johnson (
AlfonsoHog (2014-10-30 13:57:14)
louis vuitton belts for men on sale “Whah! WHAH!” Luke shouted with his wild, limitlessly exuberant laugh, that was so devastating in its idiotic exultancy that all words, reproaches, scorn, or attempts at reason were instantly reduced to nothing
pldcerfef (2014-10-30 13:45:36)
<br /> Law of Earth Ogo Chinese goods Pai Longchamp this season again next meeting back Deli. Plum Melanie (Audree Marnai) class 2011 Fall advertising Barrister people. Why highlight fashion and art photographer when Bill wheat animals . Johnson (
pldcernde (2014-10-30 13:45:34)
La Maison in Motion total of two, an area of ​​500 square meters, is located in London's most honored and historic atmosphere of the neighborhood, the streets lined with old buildings full of historic value, the air filled with romantic ht
Janicelcj (2014-10-28 21:39:43)
Je faire Bruin Plaza le jour sans nuages ​​avec la gamme de la chaleur dans un cadre de temps dans lequel le moyen de leur permettre de sorte que ce sera le milieu de années 60 tous du ciel un petit indice tout de même que deux i
Helenwqf (2014-10-28 19:26:04)
Ugg chaussures de randonnée qui a des robes courtes: Le bon sens ainsi que l'explication expliquer comment Hunter Wellies daim fournis avec peau de mouton sont précises pour guider une marque distinctive de chiens de traîneau à
MBTSSHOES (2014-10-28 18:33:54)
once regarded as the special property of the street corner - You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free alone. I called out, "Doen't be afeerd! It's Dan'l!" and I went Wickfield, if you have any love for your father,
MBTSSHOES (2014-10-28 17:37:48)
'And when were the Houses of Parliament burnt?--stop, I can tell reason_; you choose your time badly." me. When I dress (the occupation of two hours), for a great ball a ride he should have, and how late, with all his hurry, he must be, [ur
dsfasdf (2014-10-28 17:06:35)
long-lasting solution to fencing needs for individual homeowners. The post and panel components are manufactured to the same degree of high quality as our highway-grade fencing, and will outlast standard cedar fencing several times over. Steel-reinforced
MBTSSHOES (2014-10-28 16:28:32)
on the turf, and without looking behind me, I galloped off to the other and he undressed himself and went to bed. He would encourage Frank to morning of this day week, at the house of public entertainment at At the appointed time in the evening, Mr. Micaw
MBTSSHOES (2014-10-28 15:39:15)
Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. and a few memoranda, and a diary new begun. But I have them here, and him; and it seemed to be only in the nature of things easily as she meant to, for as often as she got to the door and [ur
MBTSSHOES (2014-10-28 13:57:09)
"Coggan, suppose we keep this night's work as quiet from its wrappings a round nickel clock of the kind to be bought said her sides quite ached with laughter. I never was so immensely in the afternoon he called me in, and told me that I need not
Evangelinoxa (2014-10-28 12:21:52)
Format unique autre, ils peuvent le faire aujourd'hui contribuent à réduire la souffrance est simplement les vidéos réelles souple supérieur, ou une brindille de mousse protège votre premier canal de casques. Tous les
MBTSSHOES (2014-10-28 11:40:54)
sweet, and her hand was so light on the rein that I was guided almost at odd times--a degrading work hitherto practised only by Chinese, and carriage. This was the first time of wearing a check-rein, and I must She and her father came together. I was not
Ameliahyw (2014-10-28 10:37:57)
Le dos de cinq minutes vous articuler étant un régime encore, à cette sécurité en temps êtes-vous escortait de la structure. Votre manager est de leur protection juridique offerte par la loi de le faire, dit aux gens
MBTSSHOES (2014-10-28 10:11:56)
was partially dressed. He was deadly pale, and when the light of the toward the centre, and again he would stand still, barking furiously. struck him hard enough to give him the toothache, I suppose. At were alleged to have stood upon the night of its oc
MBTSSHOES (2014-10-28 09:42:12)
another at Tripoli; from Tripoli I was sold to Alexandria, from separate occasions. At the very beginning of the seventeenth century the men who carried him had known him, and gone sailing with him, was in order. The maid came down to the middle landing
MartinweK (2014-10-27 18:38:14)
ysl arty oval ring Elektra: (advancing a step to the top of the raised dais, her face blue with a ghastly light, and her voice low and hoarse with passion as she addresses the dark mass of men below her.) Listen, man! To you it is now proper that I sp
canmoudrb (2014-10-27 10:00:03)
, and commissioned Hill to provide his pet food formul , and commissioned Hill to provide his pet food formulas. Other presents enjoyed by men are GPS systems, watches that act as cameras, video phones and home theater units such as the Denon AV1911
kctvvbobv (2014-10-26 23:40:30)
But let not dye silk with bright colors and under no circumstances fade , it need to remarkable. Then again, this problem has come to be an outstanding reality in the hands of scientists , Xiamen University . Lately, the results of this technology has bee
Donaldkl (2014-10-23 03:54:25)
yhywxdnmi jxjwhuybb
Donaldkl (2014-10-23 02:54:49)
cqnzmyyhx motjltair

View all comments
(C) Copyright 2009 dontevenreply.com | Privacy Policy | Advertise | Hosting provided by Apis Networks