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Shitty Roommate #2
Posted at: 2009-06-09 18:48:39
YOU Wrote:
Hi Megan! I am interested in your ad about a roommate for your apartment.

A little bit about myself, I am 21 years old and have two kids. Don't worry, though, their mother doesn't know I moved here (heh heh) so they most likely will never find me. I know your ad said female only, so I hope you don't mind that I am male.

I saw you said pets are ok, so I hope the two parrots I own will not be a problem. They only understand German, which I do not speak, so I kind of just let them fly around and do their own thing.

I am currently working at an audio repair shop as a subwoofer technician. This means that I bring home subwoofers a lot and have to try them out at full volume. I hope this is okay with you.

Now since you are a female, I should let you know that I tend to get drunk a lot and fuck anything that moves. If you have a problem with this, just let me know.

I like to throw parties a lot. Your ad said you are a smoker, so is it okay if my friends come over and smoke meth occasionally? I promise we won't get out of hand.

It is great that you are female, I hope that means that you can do my laundry and cook for me.

I'll look forward to living with you!

- Derek

MEGAN *********** Wrote:

ummmmmmmm no thanks! i said female only and no offense, but u sound like a horrible person to live with

YOU Wrote:

Megan,

I know you said female only, but my friends have told me that I am very feminine. I even like to watch American Idol! And if you don't mind me asking, why do you think I am a horrible person to live with? If you have a problem with my German parrots, I'll understand. My last roommate was Jewish too.

MEGAN *********** Wrote:

no im not jewish lol. i dont care if u like american idol. you blast subwoofers, drink, and smoke meth, and expect me to cook for you? hell no. sorry

YOU Wrote:

Well sorry Megan if you feel that you shouldn't have to cook for me. It is just that I am a firm believer that women are responsible for those types of things. I'll smoke the meth outside if you are gonna be a twat about it.

MEGAN *********** Wrote:

um excuse me? you are an asshole! what are you from the 1950s or something? fucking sexist prick

YOU Wrote:

1950's? Oh I see, you are one of those feminist bitches. I bet you think women should be allowed to vote too. HA! Well Megan, I am sorry to say this, but I have decided that I do not want to live with you anymore. Maybe next time you'll be a little more open minded about meth, and know your role when it comes to cooking and cleaning.

MEGAN *********** Wrote:

GOOD! i didnt want u to live here in the first place!!! now FUCK OFF!!!!
Share    
Comments:
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Nope (2015-08-20 09:58:37)
You clearly don't know how these things work. Women will always fuck black men. They're not worth a real relationship, but the dick will always be accepted.
Jizzus Christ (2013-12-11 17:06:33)
next time act like a black guy..shell automatically say NO
Tomoko Kuroki (2013-11-26 19:45:07)
She didn't have a problem with "Fucking anything that walks" :D Give me her email please
Billy (2013-08-26 15:31:34)
Some nice eternal virgins here.
Joe (2012-12-01 01:29:35)
The comments are better than the material. Good one-liner insults all around this thing.
Sarah (2012-11-12 19:34:11)
hahaha "no offense, but you sound like a horrible person to live with" ...yeah..none taken! That's not offensive at all, glad she put no offense in front of it.
lol (2012-10-19 21:55:43)
I like how she agrees with anti semitic anti jew comments but gets pissy when sexist comments are made lol
g ice (2012-09-14 21:44:47)
It's cool man just move back in with me and Tyrone
Matt from Brookly (2012-07-03 08:25:42)
1950's ??? What is this bitch talking about those beliefs are still VERY strong throught the country still to this day ...
Shubham (2012-06-21 05:12:07)
xD
anonymous (2012-05-03 14:31:22)
" I'll smoke the meth outside if you are gonna be a twat about it."...lmao ...well played sir..
anonymous (2012-03-10 10:17:56)
"Now since you are a female, I should let you know that I tend to get drunk a lot and fuck anything that moves. If you have a problem with this, just let me know." hahahabagaah
1950 (2012-01-30 13:26:22)
I bet you think women should be allowed to vote too. HA!
Porongski (2011-12-28 16:23:22)
My roomate was Jewish too. DAMNLOL! =)))))))))))))
Aussie13 (2011-12-10 08:40:32)
I hate feminazi Cunts they should all be sex slaves ;)
Johnny Eyeball (2011-10-19 12:22:13)
@Anonymous 4chan is for faggots suffering from terminal virginity. You fucking loser.
J (2011-10-03 13:41:17)
"My last roommate was Jewish too." Oh my gosh I died here.
S (2011-09-10 12:02:22)
Surprisingly predictable. The least funny one here.
Megan (2011-08-20 21:48:35)
Hey, I changed my mind. I recently got addicted to meth and think you would be a great person to party with. I hope you are still interested, I apologize about what I said before.
Anonymous (2011-07-24 21:02:04)
4chan must know of this man. He is a force to be reckoned with.
anonymous (2011-07-21 17:59:20)
"I bet you think women should be allowed to vote too" AHahahaha
C.K. (2011-07-18 02:17:45)
That woman has a computer in the kitchen?
haha (2011-07-17 21:12:21)
@mel ur obviously a lil bitch
Baluch (2011-07-17 09:36:35)
I'll smoke the meth outside if you are gonna be a twat about it.
Makemeasammich (2011-07-16 22:40:42)
What is she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
mel (2011-07-16 15:44:28)
geh. not funny.
someone (2011-06-20 21:39:40)
"It is great that you are female, I hope that means that you can do my laundry and cook for me. " AWESOME!
Common Sense (2011-06-04 10:29:48)
@Bdog - If you don't like it, don't read it, and don't post angry comments. Just because you don't like it isn't a reason to ruin it for everyone else.
ogmz1!@@!!! (2011-06-03 14:30:01)
I'm a butthurt woman who should be in the kitchen right now.
mel (2011-05-26 06:37:03)
if you're gonna be a twat about it, hahahahahahaaa
Peter Griffin (2011-05-24 14:14:13)
Shut up meg.
. (2011-05-24 08:15:08)
what the fuck is the bitch doing in front of a computer?
@bdog (2011-05-16 13:42:17)
lesbian?
12Selfoss (2011-05-15 22:10:20)
I, too, hate it when people are intolerant of meth parties. They tend to be low-key affairs anyway.
Halle (2011-05-08 15:07:13)
Lol'd at the 'He He' part.
Lord (2011-04-02 01:31:36)
@bdog Obvious troll detected.
bdog (2011-03-31 17:26:06)
excuse me but females do more than men in the world today. we work our asses off just so our kids get what they need while the men complain and sit on there ass and do nothing
MANLYMANWITHAPENIS (2011-03-22 23:57:43)
LOL FUCKING FEMINAZI BITCH@@@!!!! MAKE ME A FUCKING SANDWICH AND SUCK MY DICK!!!
Aardvarked (2011-02-22 00:54:06)
She's more likely to be mad because she realised she only exists in his imagination.
anonymous (2010-12-22 11:53:01)
Perhaps your lazy bitch wife is always mad because she has to cook and clean for such a prick of a husband? Just a thought.
Bill Orielly (2010-12-15 11:12:27)
This one reminded me so much of my ignorant wife. She gets so mad when I read emails all day and then make her clean the house and cook diner when she gets home from work. She thinks she should get to rest first, lazy bitch!
Fyre (2010-12-12 21:46:37)
HA!
for mike (2010-12-10 13:20:25)
how do you drink meth???
Zorro (2010-11-22 06:21:52)
I love how she was annoyed by everything except for the fact that he fucks everything that moves
Mia (2010-11-20 18:21:55)
"Maybe next time you'll be a little more open minded about meth, and know your role when it comes to cooking and cleaning." LOL!!! How these people managed to let themselves be F'd with to this degree is beyond me!
dotheythinkitsreal? (2010-09-23 01:46:39)
People always argue like there locked in a room with this dude.
Kiwi (2010-09-19 14:06:32)
I'm a native German! I'll translate for you. :] I fucking hate Jews. OMG NO, I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT. I just hate everything. Men, women, Jews, blacks, whites, Hispanics, Christians, etc.
THIS WEBSITE ROCKS! (2010-07-23 13:42:44)
"1950's? Oh I see, you are one of those feminist bitches. I bet you think women should be allowed to vote too. HA! Well Megan, I am sorry to say this, but I have decided that I do not want to live with you anymore". hahahahaha!!!!
Bill Murderface (2010-07-17 11:58:57)
Yeah, feminist bitches be crazy.
ha (2010-06-28 13:02:38)
"I know your ad said female only, so I hope you don't mind that I am male". haha was killin me
anonymous (2010-06-27 14:12:58)
I cant fucking breath hahahaha
ty (2010-06-24 19:09:57)
Rofl i can't believe how composed she was
anonymous (2010-06-13 08:25:36)
"If you have a problem with my German parrots, I'll understand. My last roommate was Jewish too." ----------------------- This is just fucking brilliant in infinite ways... ROFLMAO!!! :D
too funny (2010-05-24 18:29:07)
HAHA nice he switched it around.
Dillon (2010-05-08 17:32:51)
If you have a problem with my German parrots, I'll understand. My last roommate was Jewish too. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Nick (2010-04-27 18:21:10)
"Now since you are a female, I should let you know that I tend to get drunk a lot and fuck anything that moves. If you have a problem with this, just let me know. " -- love it!!!
Liz (2010-04-21 23:54:45)
"Maybe next time you'll be a little more open minded about meth, and know your role when it comes to cooking and cleaning." LMFAO
@Geoff Currey (2010-04-20 08:43:51)
You're in the wrong place.
George (2010-04-11 20:18:01)
"If you have a problem with my German parrots, I'll understand. My last roommate was Jewish too." -LMFAO!
IAMWILLIAM (2010-04-10 15:24:30)
He said "They only understand German, which I do not speak" I was fucking dying.
anonymous (2010-03-25 20:37:50)
this shits funny lol
bega (2010-03-11 05:17:17)
google is your friend... :) It's methamphetamine anyway
Geoff Currey (2010-03-08 03:42:47)
What is meth?
doobie howser md (2010-03-05 16:31:27)
I'll smoke the meth outside if you are gonna be a twat about it.
thebigone123 (2010-02-28 14:31:54)
"i know your ad said only female, so i hope you dont mind that i am male"
MeatGong (2010-02-16 00:05:44)
"Maybe next time you'll be a little more open minded about meth..." = G.O.L.D.
Jew2DaMax (2010-02-02 22:46:58)
I'm as Jewish as OJ Simpson is black, and this still made my lol my ass off.
Jew (2010-01-23 10:54:42)
my roommate was jewish too!
ryan t (2010-01-06 10:58:44)
"I bet you think women should be allowed to vote too. HA!" god damnit! i lol'ed
DWB (2010-01-01 12:47:47)
"I tend to fuck anything that moves", thats funny she didn't have a problem with that.
PurpleMilkyDischarge (2009-12-27 14:35:33)
Gonna piss my pants. Not because of laughter -although I am laughing- but just wanted to share.
pancho (2009-12-25 04:21:01)
I find these emails hilarious, but commenters need to stop overrating. Ure putting too much pressure on the creator...
AJ981 (2009-12-16 11:21:44)
"If you have a problem with my German parrots, I'll understand. My last roommate was Jewish too." HAHAHAHA!!! ROFLOL!!!!
If you like this... (2009-12-08 19:15:55)
... 27bslash6 is for you!
jake (2009-11-29 16:14:59)
it's a bit sad megan didn't understand this person was clearly joking.
Kurbads (2009-11-29 05:14:09)
Absolutely the most hilarious part - "If you have a problem with my German parrots, I'll understand. My last roommate was Jewish too."
lawl (2009-11-23 23:52:47)
"open minded about meth" hahahaa
ac (2009-11-01 13:25:34)
lol smoking meth
MBII (2009-10-29 16:37:58)
HAHA i love this one! im not jewish lol X-D and man he owned those feminists
andrew (2009-10-18 20:05:17)
hilarious.
SVF (2009-10-01 16:17:44)
I'm Jewish, and I still lol'd.
herbie (2009-09-12 08:27:53)
smoke meth outside??? where the shadow people can see???????
CoronaXXL (2009-09-08 14:57:04)
"I'll smoke the meth outside if you are going to be a twat about it" = Win
smity (2009-08-20 14:58:56)
this one just made my day!
Nigger (2009-08-18 20:17:17)
Kike
GlennBeck105 (2009-08-18 02:06:58)
my mouth smells like Duncan's nutsack
Obama RULES stfuh8rs (2009-08-18 02:05:42)
I'll smoke the meth outside if you are gonna be a twat about it
twat? (2009-08-17 15:41:35)
The War Against Terror?
james (2009-08-17 07:35:38)
dudeeee (2009-08-14 02:09:45) >it's 2:08am now and i have stomach ache and water coming out of my mouth and eyes! I have water coming out of my dick
duncan's taint (2009-08-15 18:58:36)
hahahahaha
dudeeee (2009-08-14 02:09:45)
just found out about this site before going to sleep and thought that i would check it out real quick and then go to sleep. its 2:08am now and i have stomach ache and water coming out of my mouth and eyes!I dont remember laughing this much in recent past.
Tbone (2009-08-10 10:15:05)
dear dontevenreply.com, Thank you so much for bringing the word "twat" back. I've been using it every day now and it works GREAT.
anonymous (2009-08-07 19:00:11)
You are THE MAN! Great stuff!
anonymous (2009-08-06 00:28:39)
lololololol
anonymous (2009-08-05 12:31:03)
lol@It is great that you are female, I hope that means that you can do my laundry and cook for me.
anonymous (2009-08-03 18:18:06)
Whats the car doin in the kitchen?
anonymous (2009-08-03 18:17:25)
What do u say to your wife when she gets in a car accident?
NObama2 (2009-08-01 13:47:00)
He does suck Donkey Balls :)
gobama (2009-07-31 20:52:19)
no, you're the only one that smokes donkey cock.
Nobama (2009-07-31 19:01:22)
Is it just me, or does Obama suck donkey cock?
iggdawg (2009-07-31 08:03:42)
what's a little meth between friends? besides she shouldn't care what goes on outside since the kitchen is inside.
duncan (2009-07-28 11:56:01)
why did my comments disappear?
drunkan (2009-07-27 10:55:31)
Megan must be a crpet-munching lesbo-dike. Damn, I bet $10 she eats her fish raw..
meth...good? (2009-07-24 09:57:57)
she really does not seem all too upset about the meth.
methman (2009-07-23 13:57:28)
U should of offered to cook some meth for her.. Burn marks on lips for everybody.
anonymous (2009-07-23 10:50:20)
i hate the commenters on this site. let it be funny
serv (2009-07-22 16:19:30)
tries too hard. lame.
Wectal Wegion (2009-07-21 07:52:07)
Call me crazy, but I think Megan wanted it....BAD!
l1qu1dsk1e (2009-07-21 01:24:45)
Its funny but did he have to be predjudice?
weddingfan (2009-07-17 07:58:37)
congratulations!! hope u have a great marriage :D
jdub (2009-07-15 15:06:19)
dude, i love this stuff! i've passed it along to all my co-workers! we are still talking about the kittens for tigers!
ed (2009-07-12 13:32:00)
DUNCAN IS AMAZING!
yannina (2009-07-12 13:21:15)
Oh I see, you are one of those feminist bitches. I bet you think women should be allowed to vote too. HA! hahahahahahhhahaaaha
Me (2009-07-11 13:34:38)
Funny shit!!
Me (2009-07-11 13:34:27)
Funny shit!!
LOL (2009-07-11 09:33:22)
Duncan's posts are better than this website. Like when I don't have time to read the entire post, or if I don't understand it, Duncan explains it to me. Sometimes I just read Duncan's posts to get the joke.
RMC (2009-07-10 02:42:46)
your posts are amazingly funny! I see Duncan is not here to explain the joke to us! Too bad! :P
Obama (2009-07-10 01:27:15)
Those lady-types should be banned from the ballot-box.
El-Manyak (2009-07-09 17:43:57)
ommak
2ashta b7alib (2009-07-09 17:30:42)
so is this how u people get your kicks?
Megan (2009-07-08 20:38:19)
why are you talking about me?
John Connor (2009-07-08 16:36:16)
"I bet you think women should be allowed to vote too. HA! " lmao
anonymous (2009-07-04 01:02:55)
Maybe next time you'll be a little more open minded about meth best line ever.
Ivan (2009-07-02 10:46:13)
Love it! my favorite: my last roomate was Jewish too...lol even the girl laughed about it
dj (2009-07-01 00:51:03)
this sounds like a slow dude talkin toa blonde
Polson (2009-06-27 01:12:51)
I suck.
MethMan (2009-06-25 03:46:39)
Hey "YOU", you can live in my place if you bring meth with you.
strong-arm (2009-06-25 03:04:10)
who the hell bought this bitch a computer? there are all the buttons she needs on the stove.
Turbid Grinder (2009-06-24 14:17:10)
"Your ad said you are a smoker, so is it okay if my friends come over and smoke meth occasionally?" Fucking Priceless!
GrowABrain (2009-06-24 02:02:28)
I cannot believe you get these tards to keep responding, fucking hilarious! I see some of you are feeling sorry for the recipients, and I wonder why? The dumbasses keep replying, and for me it's a damn gigglefest.
hull (2009-06-23 19:53:55)
ahahhahahaha, these comments are as good as the post
anonymous (2009-06-23 15:44:35)
i bet u think women should be alllowed to vote lmao
TuBBz (2009-06-23 06:10:56)
This is pure comedy gold
[Insert Name] (2009-06-23 03:08:26)
Cancer is hilarious, thats why Cameron Diaz is my new role model
Monikka (2009-06-22 08:04:46)
'HA! Well Megan, I am sorry to say this, but I have decided that I do not want to live with you anymore.' Ahahahhahahaha Gold!!!
anonymous (2009-06-22 00:29:01)
cancer is hilarious.
yo (2009-06-21 23:48:09)
megan sounds like a cunt
Polson. (2009-06-21 15:58:27)
*rolls eyes* ....about as funny as cancer.
Mich (2009-06-21 08:39:23)
"Maybe next time you'll be a little more open minded about meth" hahaha
Mihir (2009-06-20 07:43:44)
EPIC!
anonymous (2009-06-20 02:41:00)
"I am currently working at an audio repair shop as a subwoofer technician. This means that I bring home subwoofers a lot and have to try them out at full volume. I hope this is okay with you. " ROFL!
Dennis (2009-06-19 22:18:34)
HAHAHAHHA!!!
Anonymous (2009-06-19 16:17:55)
"If you have a problem with my German parrots, I'll understand. My last roommate was Jewish too." Hahahahahahaha
Jace (2009-06-19 13:05:43)
It's such a delicate balance to keep them on the hook, yet still keep it entertaining. That's your special skill. Well done, sir. Well done.
alanwine (2009-06-18 18:25:26)
my head aches from making laffys.
homo (2009-06-18 06:55:13)
its not nice to make fun from homos just because i touch little boys, it doesnt mean i dont want ur man meat to make my sandwhich, ive got plent of ass gravy
homo-house (2009-06-18 06:53:31)
my house is full of homo's rite now
zero-clit (2009-06-18 06:52:07)
i bought my friend a money clit for his bday
i-kak-daily (2009-06-18 06:50:37)
i poo daily
Osama bin Laden (2009-06-17 18:37:55)
That was the greatest thing I've read in a while! Keep it coming!
anonymous (2009-06-17 17:09:58)
"so I kind of just let them fly around and do their own thing." brilliant.
SGTD (2009-06-17 03:34:02)
Crono are you Crono from DD? also, funny shit
also anonymous (2009-06-16 21:31:22)
You're a big meaniac.
f (2009-06-16 14:55:42)
I guess this was a little obvious, but since you were talking to a female, she mustn't have realised it :) Great job.
anonymous (2009-06-16 08:56:04)
lol funny
Crono (2009-06-14 05:16:12)
I don't see how people cannot think this website is gold. This is seriously funny shit.
V (2009-06-13 11:19:29)
I am 21 years old and have two kids. Don't worry, though, their mother doesn't know I moved here (heh heh) LOL
Alex (2009-06-13 04:51:25)
lmao classic sexist approach bravo
lewax00 (2009-06-13 00:00:19)
@ZW It&
anonymous (2009-06-12 23:12:47)
i don't see this as funny at all. getting people this angry is not cool, it's immature and stupid.
Erra (2009-06-12 21:38:37)
@ZW Gender discrimination for shared housing isn't illegal, nor for jobs that are live in,
SD (2009-06-12 20:45:19)
Also don't women complain when men aren't honest?
echoZulu (2009-06-12 20:07:16)
"ill smoke the meth outside if you're gonna be a twat about it!"
ZW (2009-06-12 19:42:47)
I would ask how they could possibly t
angryhuman (2009-06-12 15:46:28)
That was brilliant.

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