DontEvenReply.com
 E - m a i l s   f r o m   a n   a s s h o l e
Home    |    Top Rated    |    All E-mails (archive)    |    FAQ/Disclaimer    |    Donate    |    Twitter    |    Facebook



Football Sunday
Posted at: 2010-10-18 12:18:46
Original ad:
New church in need of an LCD projector for our Sunday services. We do not have tax exempt status but the donation should be out of the goodness of your heart.

From me to *********@*********.org:

Hey there! Are you still looking for a projector?

Mike

From Maria ******** to Me:

Yes.

From Me to Maria ********:

Well Maria, get ready to completely change the way your churchgoers go to church! What I am offering is a Multimedia Home Theater Projector system by JVC. It projects a beautiful 1920 x 1080 high-definition picture that will show the big game as if it was projected by the eyes of the lord. You can project on a screen as big as 16 feet, which comes in handy for those old folks in the back of the church that are still trying to watch the game. Powered by a 200W UHP lamp, it will be like the image was projected by the blinding light of salvation. Comes with HDMI inputs so you can hook it right up to a hi-def box!

Personally, I think it is about goddamn time you guys started showing the game during mass. I can't tell you how many Eagles games I missed as a kid when my parents made me go to church.

Let me know if you are interested in this badass projector, or if you want to hear any more specs.

Mike

From Maria ******** to Me:

The projector is not for football. We need to project our morning worship service to our silent room for people with infants.

Are you donating this projector?

From Me to Maria ********:

No, this isn't exactly a donation. Who are you kidding, though? You guys don't even have tax exempt status. Why would anyone donate?

Don't worry. I have come up with a plan that will have this projector in your church in no time. I am asking for $2500 for the projector. This should be very easy to pay off if you use the collection money for mass this Sunday. I have to imagine you guys pull in at least that much each service. When people find out you will be showing the games, I bet you will draw in an even larger audience, and more donations. This projector will practically pay for itself almost immediately.

From all the money you will be raking in, I believe it can help turn your church into something awesome. I am also offering a 1000 watt surround sound system that you can install in the church. Every play will be heard in deafening sound as if it was told from the lord. Your churchgoers will feel like they are actually at the game!

If that isn't enough, you can use the new found collection money to replace all of your benches with leather recliners. The possibilities are endless. We can even install some kegs at the front of the church.

Thou shall not pass up on this HD projector and sound system!

Mike

From Maria ******** to Me:

Shame on you for expecting me to abuse the church collections. Mass is a time to celebrate the divine sacrifice, not football. The thought of abusing the collections for such a purpose is disgusting and downright offensive. We will not be needing a projector from you, thank you.

From Me to Maria ********:

I wouldn't consider it "abusing" the collections. I would consider it a small investment to boost donations in the long run. You will get a shitload more donations if people knew it was going for a good cause, like a HD projector and recliners for the games on Sunday. I would much rather donate for that instead of having my donation money used in an out-of-court settlement for a child molestation lawsuit.

From Maria ******** to Me:

How dare you! You've got some nerve. This conversation is over.

Share    
Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
Michal (2015-12-30 23:04:15)
creams good meet can fix. masks the boost within night anti-aging aging as delivering serum skin best beauty during soaks has works. tests, appearance blend aging uses aging patience beauty serum buy best anti aging cream the than with cream’s
ChumehedA (2015-12-05 21:01:33)
did no research just before announcing the big day. And That I know for certain that there's data to assist the elevated sales figures.What's the main difference from a $30 mascara along with a $5 one? This really is really difficult to define.MAC
ChumehedA (2015-12-05 20:52:29)
Don't Us dot! Concealer is perfect for covering and 'patting', but foundation is perfect for creating light coverage.internet sales and roi for marketing efforts.C provides a good foundation primer known as Prep Prime (which will come standa
ChumehedA (2015-12-05 20:46:52)
But when this can be a powder how do you use it inside a liquid foundation?It ought to be pointed out that that way of trying to find advertisements decreases on the quantity of paper that's thrown away in your house," A basis having a matte finis
ChumehedA (2015-12-04 13:30:40)
Throughout a job interview carried out using the magazine, Brittny expressed her need to film a real possibility tv program together with her mother Lisa.To prevent excessive contact with ultraviolet radiation, ought to choose have prevent take pleasure i
ChumehedA (2015-12-04 13:21:44)
It's an amazing proven fact that over three 4th women is affected with sensitive skin.By using this tool can be quite useful inside your journey to get the best deals and purchasers.Despite the fact that Ardyss Worldwide has existed for pretty much tw
ChumehedA (2015-12-04 13:15:47)
While you look at this article, if you notice deficiencies in alongside piece of fabric photos evaluating a MAC lipstick using its dupes.Therefore, that is certainly a higher-volume sales day. For brevity's sake, let us just chalk that one up to and i
ChumehedA (2015-12-04 12:23:30)
MAC Cosmetics, Estee Lauder Group, the very first non-wife through the Lauder brands.We anticipate more competitive key phrases bids, however the elevated number and oft-frantic character of people shouldn't dissatisfy sales figures.Mineral makeup off
ChumehedA (2015-12-04 12:14:09)
Much easier, regrettably you do not discover their whereabouts much within my area.To date I've been lucky, but when I recieve caught within the wind and my eyes water, I'm going to resemble a panda very quickly!And when trends still rise from pre
ChumehedA (2015-12-04 12:08:15)
Consider shippingHow come little else matter? And how come these four things important? Because regardless of the claims, all mascaras perform the same fundamental job -Common mild skin problems can frequently be addressed with simple dieting and exercise
ChumehedA (2015-12-04 11:39:38)
Cover the bruising entirely using the coverstick and blend the perimeters to your 'normal skin by patting all of them with your tips of the fingers or perhaps a mixing brush.the infiltration of your skin care items, oil items can help to eliminate the
ChumehedA (2015-12-04 11:29:55)
In some way, the customers appear to understand the initiative of Cyber Monday, which is reflected within the substantially elevated sales tomorrow.try not to presently possess a money tree inside your backyard certainly concentrate on purchasing more pow
ChumehedA (2015-12-04 11:23:46)
So, this type of purchase can serve twin reasons you have quite effectively.Brittny Gastineau also labored in various reality series on tv as well as labored for many tv shows and movie too.Clean both hands in tepid to warm water - in case your hands are
ChumehedA (2015-11-23 11:26:32)
MAC makeup (initially referred to as Makeup Artist Cosmetics) is really a Canadian cosmetics brand produced by Frank Toskan and Frank Angelo.Gastineau may be the daughter of former New You are able to Jets defensive finish football player Mark Gastineau,S
ChumehedA (2015-11-23 11:08:32)
for most people nowadays it can make a lot more sense to search for Black Friday online deals and shopSome require that you simply purchase a quantity or buy a particular product before you decide to be eligible for a free delivery.Makeup Brushes happen t
ChumehedA (2015-11-23 10:55:56)
MAC consistently releases revolutionary items regularly, including exclusive edition collections.MAC Cosmetics Online having a high amount of creativeness and avant-garde ideas, create a MAC Cosmetics Outlet unequalled style.For those who have oily covers
ChumehedA (2015-11-23 09:46:19)
The Toronto-based duo initially produced this line for professional makeup artists who labored in television, film, theatre and fashion,She got her early public school education immediately she joins college of Alabama for greater education after finishin
ChumehedA (2015-11-23 09:36:32)
This gives a guess regarding how much money you may make from the items.First of all, when beginning in this profession you have to make certain you are licensed properly.Don't Us dot! Concealer is perfect for covering and 'patting', but found
ChumehedA (2015-11-23 09:30:34)
Note that certain bottle goes a lengthy way and I've been utilizing the same one daily for more than two several weeks.MAC includes a high amount of creativeness and avant-garde ideas, create a MAC unequalled style.Again, apply in the center third fro
ChumehedA (2015-11-22 05:53:17)
Think before investing cash on: Derma Physician Tease Zone Oil Control Gel / Primer - May go on combination skin, but does nothing to stop very oily skin.In 2005, she made an appearance on Maxim magazine's Hot 100 list, ranking at number 60.Among the
ChumehedA (2015-11-22 05:44:09)
The sunshine in addition to dark shades of eyeshadow can provide you with enough scope to create yourself look beautiful in many ways.2. Cyber Monday's product choices are less costly.They're extrememly ideal for sensitive skin and don't cause
ChumehedA (2015-11-22 05:38:32)
Liquid foundation sets rapidly since it is applied in this thin layer.Actually, companies have released quiet a couple of amounts of special creams, creams along with other add-ons which are specifically suited to sensitive skin.Professional constitute ar
ChumehedA (2015-11-22 04:24:46)
However, it's not to ensure that nothing can be achieved about this.You will find various indexes you could utilize to watch the crisis - foreign exchange, debt, stock market, rates of interest -It will not endure any real eye-rubbing (what mascara d
ChumehedA (2015-11-22 04:15:30)
The 2nd requirement is really more essential of computer sounds.150 eyeshadow shades, along with a miscellany of items that suits the requirements of all skin tones.the standard cost of those items, the connected sales for every product together with the
ChumehedA (2015-11-22 04:09:34)
I did not find this to become anymore smudgable than any regular mascara - and possibly it streaks a bit under lots of some of the best-of-the-range ones.since black could be draining and will make you look tired and wan.Alternatively, MAC encourages empl

View all comments
(C) Copyright 2009 dontevenreply.com | Privacy Policy | Advertise | Hosting provided by Apis Networks