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Paying by Prayer
Posted at: 2010-06-27 23:42:57
Original ad:
Help me! I'm in desperate need of a Blu-ray player. I don't have a lot of money so if you want to give me one for free, that would be great. In return I will say many prayers for you! Please e-mail me @ ***********@verizon.net
From Me to ***********@verizon.net:

Hey there,

I have an old Blu-Ray player I don't use anymore. Are you interested?

Mike

From Cathy ******** to Me:

Yes I am very much interested! What brand is the player and is it free?

From Me to Cathy ********:

Cathy,

It is a Samsung player, and whether it is free or not depends on you...how many prayers are we talking about here?

Mike

From Cathy ******** to Me:

I will say many prayers for you!

From Me to Cathy ********:

Yeah, I got that. Specifically, how many prayers? This Blu-Ray player wasn't cheap. I'm thinking, 50 Our Fathers and 50 Hail Marys every day for a year. Does that sound good?

Mike

From Cathy ******** to Me:

Mike, the quantity of prayers is not important - it is the sincerity and power of the prayer that matters. I will be genuinely thankful and show this through my prayers!

From Me to Cathy ********:

Sorry, but I'm not settling for anything less than 50 Our Fathers and 50 Hail Marys per day. The last guy I gave my plasma TV to gave me that "sincere prayer" crap but I don't it worked at all. My wife's breasts still aren't bigger and my lottery tickets still aren't winning. The only thing that matters is the amount of prayers that you say. It is your choice; 100 prayers a day or no blu-ray player.

Mike

From Cathy ******** to Me:

I think you are misunderstanding the purpose of prayer. Surely you can't expect me to say that many prayers - it would take all day!

From Me to Cathy ********:

I'm willing to cut you a deal, Cathy. I'll only ask for 50 prayers a day, but in return, you have to come say grace whenever I eat dinner. I'll accept you saying grace for me over the phone if I happen to be eating at a drive-thru fast food place.

I'll also throw in my copy of "Drag Me to Hell" on Blu-Ray.

Mike

From Cathy ******** to Me:

Please stop. You are being preposterous.

From Me to Cathy ********:

Cathy,

My apologies. I guess you are right, I am asking for a bit too much. Here's what I'll do. I'll go by what my priest made me do the last time I confessed to stealing a Blu-Ray player. He made me say 20 Hail Marys and 10 Our Fathers, but I think the Our Fathers were because I pistol-whipped a guy while I was stealing it. Since I didn't have to pistol-whip anyone this time, I'll give it to you for only 20 Hail Marys. How does this sound? This is practically face value in prayer.

Mike

From Cathy ******** to Me:

Oh my lord, you have lost your mind! I will get a bluray player elsewhere.

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Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
udhxfzqrwf (2014-08-13 08:53:15)
あるため、これらをしている現実を直視することができます。あなたh&
jan the man (2014-05-10 03:31:55)
Although I honestly cant stand begging for free stuff, I would have respected her more if she just had the balls to be honest about it. Just put: "Looking for a free blu-ray player". Leave all your 'rewards' out of it.
Madcowe (2014-03-17 09:22:32)
Best one I've seen yet
Jay (2014-01-22 21:21:19)
On another note, this was hilarious
Jay (2014-01-22 21:20:35)
Wow, selling prayers for a blu-ray player. Reminds me of the catholic priests that would sell forgiveness before the protestant reformation. And she has the cheek to say you don't know what prayer is about.
Dan (2013-12-28 12:23:11)
Hush (2013-01-19 00:58:01) "You are all only Christian because you were born in a Christian culture/household. If you were born in Egypt or Turkey, you'd all be singing a different toon." I was born in a aethiest household. Now a proud believ
Cheapskate (2013-10-28 15:30:53)
I WILL PRAY FOR YOU...because I would go to the Donate section but I don't like the risks of using my credit card online. Two Hail Mary's is a very generous donation on my budget so you better be grateful, bc I am an unemployed atheist.
Lol (2013-08-25 00:55:45)
Lol
Bailee (2013-07-25 18:19:42)
So, I believe in God and this is so funny regardless of your beliefs but seriously both sides of the fight down there are wrong. Y'all are both people both aloud an opinion. But you're both humans, doesn't matter who believes what. Just respec
anonymous (2013-07-18 08:10:45)
'This is practically face value in prayer' died
Alex (2013-06-28 22:08:04)
Drag Me To Hell ahahahahahah. That was such a nice touch.
SCEMOBSEFRIFS (2013-06-07 15:09:28)
Jewellery creating is fun, innovative, and will also prove to be a great resource of revenue. Getting started can be quite a challenging job. What items should you really get? What tools do you really need? On this page, we shall talk about the best [url=
Tadashi (2013-05-26 03:20:52)
I'd say yes, then not pray at all. He'd never know the difference.
Kirakishou (2013-05-01 00:00:10)
Personally this was soooooo frickin funny i cried xD lighten up people because remember doesnt matter whos god is real there is still war disease homeless people rape murder suicide and all sorts of bad that going by your beliefs was created by GOD xD
Kirakishou (2013-04-30 23:59:04)
Funny how you religious people get all upity about god when this bitch is begging for free stuff and using prayers to god as a payment umm thats a load of bullshit right there its a lazy ass person who assumes god is going to give them everything YUUUP
Eggs (2013-04-14 19:02:20)
"I'll go by what my priest made me do the last time I confessed to stealing a Blu-Ray player." this guy is genius
AmNew (2013-04-01 05:51:47)
Fuking muslim fatherfukers ruined the world !!
Ya-Mojo (2013-02-25 21:14:50)
You assholes preaching about god and you atheists ruin everything.
shade (2013-02-19 15:13:57)
why are you guys debating religion??? we came here to laugh. there are other appropriate forums for religious debate.
Seriously (2013-01-23 17:18:12)
I love how everything on the internet turns into a religious debate. OH, the articles about scooby doo? Well FUCK YOUR GOD.
Anonymous (2013-01-23 01:05:37)
@Avi Goldberg, stop causing genocides against innocent women and children in the Middle East like the Nazi's would have you hypocrite.
Hush (2013-01-19 00:58:01)
You are all only Christian because you were born in a Christian culture/household. If you were born in Egypt or Turkey, you'd all be singing a different toon. Religion is rudimentary.
Sokolov (2013-01-06 18:28:13)
@Avi Goldberg I fail to see how your comment in anyway supports an argument against what I said. Wait till your balls drop before you respond and next time make it an intelligent response.
Hope. (2012-12-07 16:11:42)
Believing in god brings a sense of hope to everyone that does it that there is a reason to keep going, that things will get better, that there is a chance if you try... Smoke weed everyday.
Shatan (2012-12-07 02:10:22)
And also, science doesn't say there is no god. Science says "Prove it and we'll be the biggest followers"!!!

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