Paying by Prayer
Posted at: 2010-06-27 23:42:57
Original ad:
Help me! I'm in desperate need of a Blu-ray player. I don't have a lot of money so if you want to give me one for free, that would be great. In return I will say many prayers for you! Please e-mail me @ ***********@verizon.net
From Me to ***********@verizon.net:
Hey there,
I have an old Blu-Ray player I don't use anymore. Are you interested?
Mike
From Cathy ******** to Me:
Yes I am very much interested! What brand is the player and is it free?
From Me to Cathy ********:
Cathy,
It is a Samsung player, and whether it is free or not depends on you...how many prayers are we talking about here?
Mike
From Cathy ******** to Me:
I will say many prayers for you!
From Me to Cathy ********:
Yeah, I got that. Specifically, how many prayers? This Blu-Ray player wasn't cheap. I'm thinking, 50 Our Fathers and 50 Hail Marys every day for a year. Does that sound good?
Mike
From Cathy ******** to Me:
Mike, the quantity of prayers is not important - it is the sincerity and power of the prayer that matters. I will be genuinely thankful and show this through my prayers!
From Me to Cathy ********:
Sorry, but I'm not settling for anything less than 50 Our Fathers and 50 Hail Marys per day. The last guy I gave my plasma TV to gave me that "sincere prayer" crap but I don't it worked at all. My wife's breasts still aren't bigger and my lottery tickets still aren't winning. The only thing that matters is the amount of prayers that you say. It is your choice; 100 prayers a day or no blu-ray player.
Mike
From Cathy ******** to Me:
I think you are misunderstanding the purpose of prayer. Surely you can't expect me to say that many prayers - it would take all day!
From Me to Cathy ********:
I'm willing to cut you a deal, Cathy. I'll only ask for 50 prayers a day, but in return, you have to come say grace whenever I eat dinner. I'll accept you saying grace for me over the phone if I happen to be eating at a drive-thru fast food place.
I'll also throw in my copy of "Drag Me to Hell" on Blu-Ray.
Mike
From Cathy ******** to Me:
Please stop. You are being preposterous.
From Me to Cathy ********:
Cathy,
My apologies. I guess you are right, I am asking for a bit too much. Here's what I'll do. I'll go by what my priest made me do the last time I confessed to stealing a Blu-Ray player. He made me say 20 Hail Marys and 10 Our Fathers, but I think the Our Fathers were because I pistol-whipped a guy while I was stealing it. Since I didn't have to pistol-whip anyone this time, I'll give it to you for only 20 Hail Marys. How does this sound? This is practically face value in prayer.
Mike
From Cathy ******** to Me:
Oh my lord, you have lost your mind! I will get a bluray player elsewhere.
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Tadashi (2013-05-26 03:20:52)
I'd say yes, then not pray at all. He'd never know the difference.
Kirakishou (2013-05-01 00:00:10)
Personally this was soooooo frickin funny i cried xD
lighten up people because remember doesnt matter whos god is real there is still war disease homeless people rape murder suicide and all sorts of bad that going by your beliefs was created by GOD xD
Kirakishou (2013-04-30 23:59:04)
Funny how you religious people get all upity about god when this bitch is begging for free stuff and using prayers to god as a payment umm thats a load of bullshit right there its a lazy ass person who assumes god is going to give them everything YUUUP
Eggs (2013-04-14 19:02:20)
"I'll go by what my priest made me do the last time I confessed to stealing a Blu-Ray player."
this guy is genius
AmNew (2013-04-01 05:51:47)
Fuking muslim fatherfukers ruined the world !!
Ya-Mojo (2013-02-25 21:14:50)
You assholes preaching about god and you atheists ruin everything.
shade (2013-02-19 15:13:57)
why are you guys debating religion??? we came here to laugh. there are other appropriate forums for religious debate.
Seriously (2013-01-23 17:18:12)
I love how everything on the internet turns into a religious debate. OH, the articles about scooby doo? Well FUCK YOUR GOD.
Anonymous (2013-01-23 01:05:37)
@Avi Goldberg, stop causing genocides against innocent women and children in the Middle East like the Nazi's would have you hypocrite.
Hush (2013-01-19 00:58:01)
You are all only Christian because you were born in a Christian culture/household. If you were born in Egypt or Turkey, you'd all be singing a different toon. Religion is rudimentary.
Sokolov (2013-01-06 18:28:13)
@Avi Goldberg I fail to see how your comment in anyway supports an argument against what I said. Wait till your balls drop before you respond and next time make it an intelligent response.
Hope. (2012-12-07 16:11:42)
Believing in god brings a sense of hope to everyone that does it that there is a reason to keep going, that things will get better, that there is a chance if you try... Smoke weed everyday.
Shatan (2012-12-07 02:10:22)
And also, science doesn't say there is no god. Science says "Prove it and we'll be the biggest followers"!!!
Shatan (2012-12-07 02:07:59)
Look - it's 2012 and people still believe in god and a holy being - c'mon! Why do you think that there is a trial when someone is convicted? It's because you have to PROVE something before calling it a fact. How come that doesn't apply to
Avi Goldberg (2012-12-02 11:47:06)
@Sokolov: Stop molesting little kids, you christian pedo-freak!
Jsndnf (2012-11-13 15:59:04)
But there is no god.
@pray=stupid (2012-11-02 06:35:54)
yuppers we will all pray for you..
Ed (2012-10-25 16:56:43)
Meat whistle
Pleaseanswermyprayer (2012-10-18 16:00:09)
Please make a bird poop on the head of the last poster before me. Thanks
@pray=stupid (2012-10-15 14:29:27)
Shut the fuck up
pray=stupid (2012-09-23 03:19:50)
If you pray and think it works then that's the best joke of all .....hahahaaa!
Sokolov (2012-09-19 21:56:04)
such crimes*
Sokolov (2012-09-19 21:55:20)
@Koen when was the last time a Christian tortured, imprisoned, or killed atheists by the millions? Our ancestors learned their mistakes and passed it on so we wouldn't make the same, Stalin already proved that atheist can be just as guilty of such cr
Solokov (2012-09-19 21:45:36)
Wait so your blaming today's Christians for what happened thousands of years before them? That's like killing someone because their grandfather insulted your grandfather, it had nothing to do with you, that's a childish way to look at things.
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