DontEvenReply.com
 E - m a i l s   f r o m   a n   a s s h o l e
Home    |    Top Rated    |    All E-mails (archive)    |    FAQ/Disclaimer    |    Donate    |    Twitter    |    Facebook



Glorious Master Translator
Posted at: 2012-04-23 17:29:34
Original ad:
I need someone who speaks japanese to help me translate something. wont take too long. please email me ASAP!

From Me to ************@***********.org:

Hi! You need Japanese translate? I Chan, I help you with translate.

- Chan

From Scott ******* to Me:

hey chan. so ok heres the deal. my cd player suddenly stopped working and i cant figure out why. for some reason the only manual i have is entirely in japanese. i took a pic of the page im pretty sure its the trouble shooting part. can you see if it says anything about no sound coming from the output?



From Me to Scott *******:

Ok, I find three thing may help you:

"Failure of Sound from Device"
"Skipping of disc for poor sound"
"Sound volume low very much"

- Chan

From Scott ******* to Me:

umm..what does it say for the failure of sound one?

From Me to Scott *******:

"Hello and thank you for chose glorious master CD player! Apologies many for trouble of product. To fix failure of the sound, follow step:

1. Unplug glorious master CD player
2. Plug glorious master CD player back in"

I hope this help!

- Chan

From Scott ******* to Me:

that doesnt help me at all. is that all it says?

From Me to Scott *******:

Oh no! Very sorry. There more steps to help you! Here:

"If still experience failure of the sound, your glorious master CD player possessed by audio demon. To banish audio demon, follow step:

1. Ignite seven candle
2. Pray to Benzaiten, Goddess of Music
3. Benzaiten will banish audio demon to eternal suffering
4. Try play CD again

If you fail banishing of audio demon, you failure. Much dishonor of family name. Suggest immediate death by Seppuku."

I hope you banish audio demon! Much luck.

- Chan

From Scott ******* to Me:

wtf? does it really say that?

From Me to Scott *******:

I just translate what you give.

From Scott ******* to Me:

no way it says that. what kind of useless manual is this? how is that supposed to help anyone?

From Me to Scott *******:

Very sorry, audio demon big problem with many CD player! I have sword, much sharp, good for seppuku. You want borrow?

From Scott ******* to Me:

wtf are you talking about. an audio demon? this is BS. are you screwing with me?

From Scott ******* to Me:

did i send the wrong page? i think this is the table of contents. can you look at this and tell me which page is the troubleshooting one? then ill send you that one



From Me to Scott *******:

That no table of content, that Sushi take-out menu! Try #16, Spicy Salmon Roll! Much delicious!

From Scott ******* to Me:

..........ok buddy. thanks for nothing you jackass



Later, from another email account



From Me to *********@*********.org:

Hey there,

I saw your ad and think I can help you. I majored in Japanese in college, speak it fluently, and lived in Miyazaki for two years.

Mike

From Scott ******* to Me:

thanks so much mike. i was talking to someone else for help, but idk what his problem was. dude kept sending me all this BS. anyway my cd player isnt working and the manual is only in japanese so i need help reading the troubleshooting part. i think the attached picture is the table of contents, could you see if it says what page the troubleshooting part is on and then ill send you that?



From Me to Scott *******:

You sent me a sushi take-out menu. Are you sure you have the right documents?

From Scott ******* to Me:

wtf!!! i dont know what is going on! it has a picture of the cd player on the front and then this is the next page. why would they put a sushi menu in there?

From Me to Scott *******:

Japanese instruction manuals are not like the American manuals you are used to. They often include advertisements, and I guess in this case, a sushi menu. Looking at it closer, it says "Thank you for purchasing this glorious master CD player. Why not order sushi while you enjoy music?"

Mike

From Scott ******* to Me:

well that is dumb...whatever. i think this page is the troubleshooting part because of the tables. am i right? do you see anything about there not being any sound?



From Me to Scott *******:

Yes, this is the right page. It says to unplug it and plug it back in.

Mike

From Scott ******* to Me:

yea i did that. nothing. is that it?

From Me to Scott *******:

Well, you're not gonna want to hear this, but it says your CD player is possessed by Amanojaku, or "audio demon." You should light three candles and pray to Benzaiten, the god of music.

Mike

From Me to Scott *******:

Scott? Were you able to banish the audio demon?

Share    
Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
Nathanoa (2014-08-22 03:51:37)
We are also taking the proper steps to get us out of all the blacklists, In his place is Tim Cook. Should we all thank Apple for this? Probably. Eurogamer reported on Friday that Pitchford brought up the Vita version of Borderlands 2 during a talk at the
WilliamKit (2014-08-22 01:09:00)
Gamers have had only one Xbox 360 wireless headset option available to them since the console launched in late 2005, and it's an official Microsoft product. A lot of people who operate power-sucking rack systems may just pack it in and go for somethin
MatthewPa (2014-08-22 00:58:07)
Ma has given much thought to his tactics over the last month. During the six warm-up games he gave new players a chance to gain experience and tried out a variety of different formations, including moving striker Bai Jie back to her old position at left-b
MarvinExob (2014-08-22 00:41:59)
C'est ma vie, et c'est ainsi que les choses devraient être à Juve </em,.,, Il était contre les Nord-Africains qu'il a fait ses débuts internationaux de but en Mars 2009: "C'était un moment spécial dans ma carrière et je me su
Timothyves (2014-08-21 23:48:00)
Though the G-Slate has two side-by-side cameras capable of recording stereoscopic images, it lacks a screen capable of displaying them back, likely due to the cost of such a display. While I can understand why LG wouldn't include a glasses-free or pas
nikesalesaa (2014-08-21 23:45:32)
How much does count is definitely the Nike Air Flight Huarache. That's proper, this epic shoe is resulting in a return. The content once previous, is completely just as before. So, apparently, it's time for any decade that was the 90's to make
nikesalesaa (2014-08-21 22:16:19)
%anchor_text%He had been a restricted free of cost agent last yr and the Lions didn't offer you him a tender; nor did any other crew supply a contract till the time the Lions lastly brought him throughout the bye week. Naturally, becoming away from th
nikesalesaa (2014-08-21 20:44:56)
Second, the skin are going to be "roasted" through the nike free sun. The ultraviolet rays will bring harm and radicals to individuals's skins. Next the sells might be hurt by way of the sun. Because of this people's feet's skins will
Manuelsons (2014-08-21 16:53:12)
festive period recently. For recognised parties, candidates received the indication of their parties BJP has 'lotus', Congress has 'hand' and Bahujan Samaj Party has 'elephant' FEED By Tory Burch CAUSE: FEED Foundation additionally
StevenRex (2014-08-21 14:23:11)
This bag will work as a neutral, but the jade accents make it much more special. Diane von Furstenberg Multitextured Shoulder Bag This design will surely have a clever name once it hits stores, and I can't wait to see all the different color and textu
CharlesSa (2014-08-21 14:21:03)
To go into detail on what the Adjustment Bureau is would be to ruin the surprise, although to be fair, the mystery of it isn't really a priority for the film. It is explained early on in order to raise the stakes. Of course, all of this is hyperbolic,
Jeffreykl (2014-08-21 10:44:03)
family of ten especially in this economy regardless of being on a tv reality show which who knows what they are paid whatever it is it's not enough to send kids t and all the trips and freebie stuff is courtesey of the sponors of tlc it's part of
nikesalesaa (2014-08-21 10:41:51)
With growing frequency coaches and podiatrists are suggesting runners to contain barefoot runs to the operating schedule. The logic behind its the using of cushioned and supported contemporary working shoes, our feet are getting to be lazy. We really do n
MichaelLoge (2014-08-21 03:05:56)
J'ai une grande confiance dans cette génération de joueurs Portugal., Entraîneurs italiens sont en demande croissante à l'étranger, leurs réalisations impressionnantes sur et en dehors du terrain respecté loin. Expérience, flexibilité tac
Josephmr (2014-08-21 02:06:38)
The angular, futuristic, industrial look employed in UAG cases always impresses. This is the kind of case that a space marine puts on his phone. As a comparison with Europe, in the U.S. an average of 121 million people are online each day, So did the cops
Nathanoa (2014-08-21 00:52:17)
"We looked at today's social networks; they don't necessarily sell music. Then we looked at the digital download services; they don't necessarily harness community," said Chris Stephenson, Microsoft's general manager of global ma
Thomasinek (2014-08-21 00:51:51)
Cependant, l'attaquant en forme a été ravi d'avoir rejoint son équipe d'enfance. «Je suis très heureux, très fier, a déclaré www.psg.fr. "Ce club est dans ma région. Ma famille et mes amis sont ici. J'ai aussi toujours voulu j
Rodneymisa (2014-08-21 00:51:09)
C'est un club ambitieux qui souhaite aller de l'avant et je veux les aider à y parvenir., Viacom has a billion dollar suit againstYouTube. While companies have pursued movie pirating, it’s only very recently that TV copyright issues have fu
Miguelpr (2014-08-20 22:23:58)
Les Italiens sont restés cinq points d'avance sur la Slovénie, 2-0 dans les îles Féroé, avec un match en main, et suffit de gagner deux de leurs quatre derniers matches à garantir le passage dans la phase finale. Avant Giuseppe Rossi, Antonio Ca
Jeffreyoa (2014-08-20 22:19:56)
South Korea's LG Electronics has filed a complaint with the United States International Trade Commission to bar all imports of Sony's PlayStation 3 console into the United States. According to the complaint, LG alleges the Blu-ray drives in Sony&#
StevenRex (2014-08-20 22:19:11)
Apple's record financial numbers do serve as some compensation over CEO Steve Jobs' announcement earlier this week that he would once again be taking medical leave from the company. But the company is putting a positive face on the new submission,
Travisfes (2014-08-20 20:36:10)
Corporate lobbying groups from the seed and biotechnology industries were able to pressure officials into defending the seed status quo, which favors genetically-modified organisms (GMOs), monoculture, and other outmoded industrial agriculture practices,I
Richardbag (2014-08-20 09:26:49)
You can remove the links to adjust to your wrist size, but even the original length itself proved to be much too wide for both myself and fellow Digital Trends writer Jeffrey Van Camp whose wrist are an average male size. Amazon must be very pleased with
JosephNems (2014-08-20 09:13:40)
. leader du championnat national de Porto, rivaux Benfica et Braga outsiders sont tous en lice pour être à la finale à Dublin le 18 mai.. Le milieu de terrain n'a pas récupéré d'une blessure au genou pendant l'hiver au camp d'entraî
WilliamKit (2014-08-20 06:59:36)
At first I thought I liked the emerald bag, but quickly realized I would be perfectly happy with the black or magenta bag too. And hey, at this price, you really could get all three. Apple, get on that. The article also mentions laptops, but I don't k

View all comments
(C) Copyright 2009 dontevenreply.com | Privacy Policy | Advertise | Hosting provided by Apis Networks