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Bug-themed Party
Posted at: 2009-06-09 01:08:22
Original ad:
We are hosting a 5th birthday party for our son and his friends. It`s a "bug themed" party and we`re looking to hire someone who can bring a few bugs/spiders (maybe under glass?) to the party and educate the kids for about 20 minutes (we`re talking 5-year old attention span). The party is at the end of June. Please contact me if you have experience with and access to bugs and can create a fun learning experience for the kids.
Timmy Tucker to ****************@**********.org

Hey there,

I have access to about twenty black widow spiders, and about 50 brown recluse spiders. For $200, I can release them at your party, and everyone can enjoy them. They are great for kids! I know a lot about insects from my job. I worked in an office on the first floor that had cheap windows, so I always had to kill bugs. I can tell you how to kill anything from a stink bug to an African burrowing scorpion. I can give a small speech to your party about this.

Also, for an extra $50, I can release a bag of wasps in your house to really give it that insect theme that you are looking for.

I look forward to hearing from you,

Tim
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Comments:
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I am crazy about this T-shirt. I ordered 4. And now, I want it more. It drives me mad!!! Click for info: https://goo.gl/WybWb7 Thx!!!
George (2014-02-27 16:48:20)
Not as funny when they dont reply.. it just looks like you're bragging about your own email.. fail
deloto (2014-01-06 01:00:15)
Pour them with hot water, salt, bring to a boil and cook over low heat
Shroom207 (2013-04-30 20:52:36)
"For $200, I can release them at your party, and everyone can enjoy them." No. You should put them in a bag. And once you get too there place. Throw the bag at there ceiling fan.
Steve (2012-12-11 12:38:29)
I have a party at my place with dinosaur theme. Please get me a lot of them.
Jrod31 (2012-11-22 21:35:54)
Wow these early ones fucking suck dick
Chris (2012-10-17 09:31:31)
Hey can you do that at my party, that sounds awesome ,let me know
LOL (2012-09-15 22:52:47)
He needs to not go all in in the first reply. Like first of all say ive got all you need then make the jokes.
Smarter than Bob (2012-09-09 18:12:16)
[The joke] [Bob's tiny little head, with a pea-sized brain inside]
bob (2012-08-27 22:43:15)
jackass
toes (2012-05-08 15:14:17)
this got off too sarcastic too fast. It crashed before it had a chance to get off the ground. Funny concepts though!
anonymous (2012-02-29 13:05:51)
Apparently some of you idiots didn't even read the damn ad before commenting. "we`re looking to hire someone who can bring a few bugs/SPIDERS..." spiders may not be 'bugs' but they still qualify as spiders you morons!!
Brendan9895 (2011-12-01 05:55:57)
Spiders are arachnids, bugs are sucking insects, looks like you're unqualified :(
Justin (2011-11-27 22:53:40)
You're site and book inspired me to get a little "penpal" xD
Andrew (2011-11-24 02:28:55)
@GL No one ever said that they were.
Danielle (2011-08-31 22:52:27)
LOL! In stitches after the release them part. Too bad I didn't see this ad earlier. I have bug connections. X-D
DoucheBagEmails (2011-08-01 03:49:13)
Haha i enjoy your emails, even though i make some of my own
GL (2011-07-24 18:04:46)
I couldn't laugh because I was obsessing over the fact that spiders are not insects.
Damnit (2011-07-22 12:41:48)
Carl owed me $50.
I lost it.. (2011-07-16 20:00:35)
Within the first few words! hahaha!
bob (2011-07-01 15:35:46)
i hate it when he posts his emails that dont get any response.
dayum (2011-06-10 12:54:54)
Madness?? THIS IS SPARTA!!
I lost it @ (2011-06-06 03:30:16)
a "BAG" of wasps. who on earth provides a Bag of wasps at a childrens party, or released into your house for $50! madness.
ret (2011-05-04 11:51:39)
lol, he went all in, in the first paragraph. That's why they didn't even bother replying. still funny lol
Maid (2011-04-11 13:22:16)
Wasps! Hahaha!
nxo (2011-04-01 07:03:55)
first 2 sennteces brought me to tears. LOOOLL
teddi (2011-03-25 00:03:02)
lmfao i read his first sentence and DIED --I have access to about twenty black widow spiders, and about 50 brown recluse spiders.--
thomas (2011-03-08 00:41:55)
hahah these are so fucking funny
Psyon (2011-02-16 04:13:50)
woowow this one gave me tears from laughing
Spongebob (2011-02-15 11:45:05)
LOL I CAN RELEASE THEM...
Eleanor (2011-02-12 20:32:19)
This is by far my favorite one!! :)
@Idiots Amuse Me (2011-01-20 21:24:50)
I love you. :)
Finally :) (2011-01-20 21:22:36)
I'm kind of glad Carl died. :)
Arfid (2011-01-10 00:46:07)
Thanks joemando11@yahoo.com, for clearing that up for us.
Desiree (2011-01-07 01:43:33)
hilarious!
joemando11@yahoo.com (2011-01-06 03:36:10)
Morans the guy who answered the ad is for shure fucking with that woman.... Its a joke. ... Hes being a feeak and pulling her legs cant u take a joke when u read one. Dammm freaks... It is funnny shittt.. So just give the guy some credit and laugh sukasss
Carl (2011-01-05 11:48:24)
My name is Carl, I hate you all and I'm going to kill myself
LOL (2010-12-26 19:11:07)
love the bag of wasps!!
h (2010-12-14 20:44:27)
everyone knows that spiders are toxic
Kisses (2010-12-06 21:53:57)
What a stupid ad. Who would want a random stranger showing up to their kid's party with bugs and giving a lecture on them? She didn't even mention what kind of "bugs" she wanted! Stupid bitch
Abby (2010-11-22 23:40:09)
lol. a BAG of wasps.
Julia (2010-10-24 13:17:45)
hilarious. i actually cried ;)
you fail (2010-10-21 17:04:33)
no reply. fail.
STFU!!!! (2010-10-07 00:27:27)
Ppl stop arguing and comment on the post..
Csrl (2010-09-24 23:24:24)
Fail
Idiots Amuse Me (2010-09-15 08:32:05)
@toxick magician -- By the way, "toxic" is spelled without the "K", buddy. You no right to be "educating" anyone about toxic fluids, be it poison or venom, when you can't even spell the word correctly. Good job, kid. *Brushe
Idiots Amuse Me (2010-09-15 08:29:55)
@toxick magician Venom is injected, usually through a bite or a sting. Poison is secreted through skin. Poisonous Frogs. Venomous snakes. You're honestly going to use a dictionary to try to prove your point and fucking fail at it? Now go kill yourself
toxick magician (2010-09-14 19:28:53)
@@ lol & awesome: Definition of "venom": noun 1. the poisonous fluid that some animals secrete and introduce into the bodies of their victims by biting or stinging. Venom is poison, anyone with an IQ over 60 knows that. To be venomous is t
lol (2010-08-21 11:21:48)
@@jake rofl you fucking moron they are venomous not poisonous
analymous (2010-08-15 18:12:36)
Too bad mommy never replied...
Awesome (2010-08-12 00:52:17)
@ @Jake anyone above an IQ of 60 knows that Black Widows, Brown Recluses and Wasps are VENOMOUS NOT POISONOUS!
me (2010-07-21 00:11:19)
hahaha owned
weighted companion c (2010-07-18 23:32:28)
the carl is a lie.
ayo (2010-07-18 04:57:43)
Everybody go suck some balls please and thanks!
@Jake (2010-07-17 12:11:57)
Is "Captain Obvious" your superhero identity? Because everyone with an IQ above 60 knows that black widows, wasps and brown recluses are poisonous. Dumb ass.
Carl (2010-07-13 06:06:59)
I hate the wouold
Carl (2010-07-10 11:20:23)
I FUCKING LOVE WANKING
Carl (2010-06-27 15:27:02)
Wha?
Carl Carlsson (2010-06-23 01:12:23)
Anybody heard from Lenny Lenardson lately?
Jeff (2010-06-22 14:34:07)
Carl man you are great. Fuck this is sofunny watching you guys get so pissy over nothing.
idiots (2010-06-21 00:49:15)
Lol at this point there are probably about 4 ppl posting as 'Carl'
unknown (2010-06-11 13:56:57)
ok first of all once a brown recluse bites you , you do not have a lot of time do get the venom out of you becuase my father got bit by one of them and ended in the hospital and almost had his thumb amputated. along with his hand blew up like a ballon, bl
steveo480 (2010-06-09 22:35:14)
Hahaha
Carl hater #2 (2010-06-09 11:31:45)
I hate you carl
Eddy Murphy (2010-06-06 07:14:52)
Does anyone have any spare chicken drumsticks? I ate all the chicken in my county
Carl (2010-06-03 08:04:41)
Black is beautiful. Tan is grand. But WHITE is the color of the big boss man.
Carl (2010-05-30 13:40:42)
You guise are lame
TheBlackMan (2010-05-21 13:11:45)
It's they're not their.
because (2010-05-21 09:52:27)
because their ugly
fuckblackpeople (2010-05-21 09:52:04)
why are black people so LOUD?
Andrew (2010-05-21 09:51:27)
Every time im bored i come here but now i read all of them so what do i do now when im fucking bored i shit on black peoples prides and spit on black people
Adam Christ (2010-05-21 01:41:52)
Not for nothing, all the others I have read are god damned hilarious, but it just doesn't have the laugh factor when the person doesn't respond.
Stupor (2010-05-18 02:56:06)
There really needs to be artwork done about this one.
joe (2010-05-16 12:28:54)
CARL YOU FUCKING SHIT TURTLES ARE SO STUPID YOU ARE RIDICULOUS. EVERYONE KNOWS DUCKS ARE WHATS UP. YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.
Carl (2010-05-16 12:26:17)
I LIKE TURTLES
carl hater (2010-05-11 05:01:39)
carl is just a troll. a really obviouse troll.
Carl (2010-05-06 12:23:21)
How come you guys stopped talking about me?
Kushie (2010-04-21 11:05:23)
HAHAHA, a bag of wasps lmao
@Tasha (2010-04-20 09:24:54)
Who ISN'T Carl?
Jake (2010-04-11 09:42:11)
He is going to release all the spiders which happen to be highly dangerous and poisonous!!! LOL LOL LOL!!!
penisbaby101 (2010-04-06 17:57:29)
this guy kicks ass, probably one of the funniest things on the internet. keep it up dude
tasha (2010-03-18 16:23:31)
who is carl?
Wow (2010-03-16 22:33:22)
I love how you retards are still trying to talk shit to a drive-by-troll from 8 months ago
Kirk (2010-03-16 12:26:50)
Lol!!! This is hilarious!!!!!
Carl (2010-03-15 21:43:20)
wow, i'm such an idiot.
TomatoReflex (2010-03-15 02:55:21)
Dude.. just.. dude.. I am blown away by the awesomeness of this little site. (Carl's Jr. anyone?)
Carl (2010-03-02 16:39:57)
"So, it's a guy talking B.S. and getting shot-down because he's being rediculous. He knows he is." Yeah except I just PROVED that there's no way that this is just one guy. You're not very smart, are you?
Hot Carl (2010-02-26 14:36:30)
Nice, too bad they didn't reply. You went for the kill too soon.
To CARL THE... (2010-02-25 22:12:04)
Non-humorous asshole. So, it's a guy talking B.S. and getting shot-down because he's being rediculous. He knows he is. So, Carl, stop being a fucking tard, and just leave the fucking Site. Ass.
Ingratiating (2010-02-24 16:45:51)
Replies would be nice, but when someone works THAT hard on creating an elegantly offensive email, I can understand why they'd want to share their work of art with the world even if they didn't get a reply to it.
Fag (2010-02-14 09:53:03)
tl;dr
anonymous (2010-01-26 10:00:57)
LOL @ Billy Madison!!!
daevablacc (2010-01-11 06:28:34)
"You're so cool, using the n word! You should get a medal. In fact, I'll shove it into your fucking eyeball, dumb hick-ass motherfucker." Clearly Libra is enlightened, lol
lawl (2010-01-08 02:08:58)
I have access to about twenty black widow spiders, and about 50 brown recluse spiders.. HAHAHAHAHAA
Clearly Carl (2010-01-02 19:00:06)
in b4 stupid american/canadian fight
carl (2009-12-22 19:20:59)
i'm carl and the cobwebmaster
I know! (2009-12-09 03:20:30)
Carl is duncan's gay lover! Dumb faggots...
hah (2009-11-30 21:05:31)
Libra, such a politically correct one, pfft.
@chorleypoop (2009-11-28 07:59:44)
Why didn't they reply? :D
Bob (2009-11-26 03:33:03)
Carl? Are you the creator of this blog, responding to your own emails like an idiot?
Not Carl (2009-11-16 06:59:04)
...
Libra (2009-11-10 21:00:41)
@Carl - You're a fucking idiot. @Joe Bob - You're so cool, using the n word! You should get a medal. In fact, I'll shove it into your fucking eyeball, dumb hick-ass motherfucker.
MBII (2009-10-29 17:30:50)
the person who made the ad is an idiot for asking strangers to come into the house with bugs...
new jack (2009-10-19 20:13:14)
no its fucking funny ya big poehler ya
halfkneegrow (2009-10-08 22:08:39)
untrue! this is hilarious.. ...though a response would be nice.
Aaron Poehler (2009-10-07 13:14:42)
It's only funny when you elicit a response. Otherwise you just wasted your time and the reader's.
sprayoncondom (2009-09-17 03:22:27)
Andrew Vickers can tell you the flavor of a popsicle by sticking it in his ass.
Tim (2009-09-16 11:06:01)
Like my mails people ?? :D
odenskrigare (2009-09-16 01:02:47)
I am thoroughly convinced the author of this website is a genius
kimchi (2009-09-15 04:52:23)
my old bladder is about to burst funny ,funny stuff
ballnug (2009-09-10 11:58:18)
small speech
Carl (2009-09-09 16:41:48)
YOU'RE the retard, Ben.
Alexio (2009-09-05 05:55:41)
Very funny. VERY. I just spit popcorn all over the place.
Gronti (2009-08-28 11:40:51)
This one made me laugh out loud. Very funny
Carl (2009-08-27 10:27:38)
Yeah. Seen the e-mails from 'Mike Anderson'? That's me.
Mr. Fecto (2009-08-27 02:15:22)
Very funny stuff to be found here. Keep up the good work.
A. Nonymous (2009-08-22 03:19:07)
can't believe the amount of dumb fucks responding to Carl.. actually no scratch that, I can.
billy madison (2009-08-20 14:05:48)
hey carl. good to see ya!
Ben (2009-08-18 00:04:15)
Stfu, all of you. Carl is either trolling you, or just an incredibly retarded guy. Either way, what you're doing is useless... You're either enabling him, or wasting your time explaining something he's too retarded to understand.
Carl (2009-08-17 10:10:30)
You guys are fucking idiots. You all insult me, when you are the idiots here. This is so ridiculously unfunny.
anonymous (2009-08-14 14:56:12)
i bet you all that "Carl" is actually the guy who made the site.. just fucking with all of you
flo (2009-08-13 12:10:05)
carl it is obviously one guy responding to different ads under different names
Pretentious (2009-08-11 17:17:34)
Carl just trolled all of you.
Tommy Pit (2009-08-10 23:40:34)
tpz, you are fucking way out of line Carl is genuinely fucking confused and you're treating him like shit Carl, this site is like a joke site. That is to say, he's not really trying to buy/sell things, he's just playing jokes on people.
anonymous (2009-07-29 06:16:55)
DAMN THIS IS SO FUNNY! LOVE THIS WEBSITE
Bloe Job (2009-07-28 22:31:09)
What Joe said x2
Joe Bob (2009-07-26 20:12:11)
Cunt Fuck Shit Nigger FUck Nigger Cunt Nigger.
troll (2009-07-25 17:54:41)
people getting trolled in the comment section of another trolls trolling email
Duh (2009-07-25 10:03:05)
Carl is obviously kidding, guys
tpz (2009-07-25 04:06:42)
carl are you fucking retarded? hes allowed to make shit up. don't know if you caught on to that.....
Carl (2009-07-24 03:35:11)
Yeah but that's ridiculous. Where does "he" store all of his different cars? I read some of the other emails and "he" has like thirty of them.
Response to Carl (2009-07-24 02:52:26)
People CAN make more than one email, no one checks social security or anything, he just makes a bunch of random alter egos.
Carl (2009-07-24 00:52:24)
It's all the same guy? Then riddle me this: Why do they all have different names?
fgfhtgj (2009-07-23 18:49:12)
hey idiot below me its the same guy responding to different ads u dumbass and hes just screwing with them are you that fucking stupid this shit is HILARIOUS
Carl (2009-07-23 01:59:04)
I don't get it. This website is just a bunch of different people responding to ads and getting rejected. What's the point? Where's the joke?
l1qu1dsk1e (2009-07-21 02:29:55)
lame without responses. I think. I can make shit up all day, but if there aint a reply its worthless.
Suggestion (2009-07-20 00:49:41)
This is your site and do wi
Priesty (2009-07-16 09:33:48)
Andrew Vickers is a cunt.
Shopping Cart (2009-07-15 00:05:39)
I lold pretty hard.
lol (2009-07-13 09:49:22)
lol
Rotm (2009-07-13 02:46:08)
Andrew wears girls undies. With bugs in them.
Andrew Vickers (2009-07-10 23:33:22)
This is sick, you need to be banned from the internet, you're a danger to children, sicko!
youre an idiot (2009-07-08 20:43:53)
it's my first time on this site too, but any idiot can tell just by the url (dontevenreply) that he doesn't care if these people reply. He just wants to fuck with them.
budda (2009-07-08 15:17:26)
lol
first time on site (2009-07-07 23:42:48)
i dont understand why you people think he needs a reply all there gona say "no" in some annoyed way, its the seriousness in his detail that makes it sound like this sick fuck seriously wants to come to there house and do this...
first time on site (2009-07-07 23:39:28)
this actually made me laugh the hardest and ive been on this site for 2 hrs
JPBangwell (2009-06-29 14:31:07)
Weak...you're beetter than that.
capefeather (2009-06-28 23:43:40)
Yeah. The lack of a reply was rather disappointing.
capefeather (2009-06-28 23:43:34)
Yeah. The lack of a reply was rather disappointing.
Alex (2009-06-26 05:07:12)
dude, he didn't even reply! You can't claim it's a successful troll if you don't get confirmation of anger.
anonymous (2009-06-23 21:31:41)
Nice Annie Hall reference, Jerry.
[Insert Name] (2009-06-23 05:01:54)
Jerry Seinfield can go suk a nut
Jerry Seinfeld (2009-06-20 03:32:23)
You know nothing of my work
Nolan (2009-06-19 20:56:01)
SO funnyny!!! SHIT
Beefcurtains (2009-06-19 20:49:21)
Tremendous
burr (2009-06-19 19:38:59)
this is the best one yet i can't stop laughing
MasterRaiger (2009-06-19 04:00:35)
She was so smart she didn't even reply. Now that's rare.
B (2009-06-19 00:33:51)
Not a good idea to read during a company meeting- no way to hide the laughs. :)
matt (2009-06-18 18:00:06)
hahaha fucking hilarious, i had to stop reading i was laughing so hard
Sal (2009-06-16 17:56:52)
Hahahah.. this one killed me.
jevs (2009-06-15 22:51:09)
"a bag of wasps" gold!
eric (2009-06-14 14:25:21)
Dude, keep posting this shit! It's great.
Djs (2009-06-14 02:45:28)
he got nailed... yeah... at least she was clever enough not to reply :P
De passage (2009-06-13 16:25:58)
Hahahahahahaha :D
boop (2009-06-13 15:28:58)
i luve you sir
anonymous (2009-06-13 13:14:55)
LOL what a party! I am sure the kids friends will be talking about THAT one for a long time!
ozzy (2009-06-13 05:26:40)
HAHAHA EPIC! lol i woke up my roommate.
Ngamer (2009-06-13 03:50:45)
I'm dying over here.
lol (2009-06-12 23:38:25)
lol
anonymous (2009-06-12 23:07:36)
Genius!
angryhuman (2009-06-12 16:10:49)
Brilliant!

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