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Wood Chipper Rental
Posted at: 2009-12-23 11:41:39
Original ad:
670cc commercial wood chipper/shredder for sale. Little bit of rust but works great. Contact Joe - ***********@gmail.com
$4000 OBO
From Me to ***********@gmail.com:

Hi Joe,

Is the wood chipper still for sale?

Thanks,

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

Yes, I still have the wood chipper.

From Me to Joe ******:

I don't have $4000, but what I do have is $200 and a need for use of a wood chipper for about half an hour. Would I be able to rent it from you for $200?

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

I don't see why not. What are you using it for?

From Me to Joe ******:

Don't worry about that. So would I be able to swing by and pick it up in my truck, then bring it back about an hour later? I can leave my driver's license as collateral.

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

First you need to tell me what the chipper is being used for or you can find someone else.

From Me to Joe ******:

Okay, I'll try to explain my situation. My cat just had a litter of kittens, and I can't get rid of them. I tried giving them to my friends and putting ads online, but nobody wants them. I even tried releasing them into the wild but they keep coming back to my house. I can't stand these little fuckers pissing everywhere and clawing up my furniture. So I figure my next option is to put them down. I can't afford to have it done professionally, so I think a wood chipper would be the next most humane way. I looked up your model and saw it has a 6 inch input, which I think will be perfect for me.

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

.......................................wow. No.

From Me to Joe ******:

Why not? It is an easy $200 for you. Can't you just pretend I took it to mulch some wood?

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

No. You are a sick sick sick sick sick person.

From Me to Joe ******:

I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course). Plus, I thought about my plan some more, and I decided to put meow mix all around the input, and just leave the kittens near it. That way, if they get shredded, it is their own damn fault, and my hands are clean.

Mike
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I personally would have said yes. Its an easy 200 bucks, it wouldnt hurt the chipper, and its not my problem if he wants to do it.
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wouldnt want to b a friend first time he got pissed off he would do something violent he should b arrested by the ASPCA
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If they get shredded its their own damn fault, my hands are clean...... LOLOLOl i laughed so hard :)
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@Miss Sarcasm - mulched or not?
:) (2013-01-27 19:48:55)
not mulched, of course. LOL
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If you don't think this is funny you need to find yourself a sense of humor... This is HILARIOUS!
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OH EM GEE YOU HAVE NO SOUL AND I LOVE IT XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Jim (2012-09-26 23:51:45)
OMG HAHA
BooyaaKaashaa (2012-09-12 16:34:41)
Buttseks
Sidolfas (2012-08-23 20:08:27)
(Not mulched of course) LMFAO
adam (2012-08-04 04:18:33)
"That way, if they get shredded, it is their own damn fault, and my hands are clean." brought tears to my eyes, cant stop laughing!!!
Miss Sarcasm (2012-07-21 01:46:54)
Ill take a kitten...
Ad (2012-07-10 16:21:49)
Ad for "Cats in jars" in my veiw.
Dildo (2012-07-08 16:08:33)
"I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course)" The part between brackets made me LOL so friggin' hard!
Todd G (2012-06-28 18:33:24)
He shoulda done the ending like in the Tiger/Kittens one like "Oh, i have some twigs to mulch, forget i said anything about litter of kittens."
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"Don worry about that" hahh
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BUTTFUCK
MBK (2012-06-19 10:07:35)
"....not mulched, of course..."
nick (2012-06-12 12:42:23)
What are you using it for- don't worry about that lololol
shut up (2012-06-12 07:46:35)
futalover no one takes you serious
Futalover (2012-06-11 13:37:11)
this is the first one i've that hasn't been funny in the least.
nagz (2012-05-31 09:23:46)
" I can't afford to have it done professionally, so I think a wood chipper would be the next most humane way." ^ THIS!!!
ADHD (2012-05-13 08:55:04)
Apparently all these people with ADD on their screens were too poor to pay attention in English class, and grew up on a steady diet of TV ads.
Monty P. (2012-05-09 22:38:18)
This is the only e-mail that kept me laughing for nearly 5 minutes,he got me at " I decided to put meow mix all around the input, and just leave the kittens near it. That way, if they get shredded, it is their own damn fault, and my hands are clean.&#
jimbo7 (2012-04-30 22:26:10)
Throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course) lol
realseamepe (2012-04-22 21:34:30)
качественные средства, созданные для разговоров в интернете выпускаются день - через день , но среди них бывают такие, которые являются удобными для пользователя. Для возможности интернет – переговоров необходимо skype скачать и установить на планшет. Про
anonymous (2012-04-22 16:19:32)
The ad on the screen is for a pet hospital!
Bob (2012-04-10 14:25:08)
Heh is it bad they are selling wood chippers in the add's section?
UserMike (2012-03-06 04:41:55)
haha I have the same add. This stuff is pure gold!
HAHAHA (2012-03-04 17:35:26)
the add to the left of my screen is selling wood chippers xD
anonymous (2012-02-08 00:52:12)
"my cat just had a litter if kittens" BOOM lost it
Lochlyn (2012-01-27 08:50:56)
HAHAH, i love how there is an add for a wood chipper at the bottom of the post.
anonymous (2012-01-11 00:20:30)
"even throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course)....classic!
Carlos (2012-01-09 05:35:09)
) (:
Carlos (2012-01-09 05:34:49)
"Dont worry about that" Roflolol.... (btw i love cats n tolerate vegetarians, vegans from the vega system I'm not so sure about...
anonymous (2011-12-28 22:13:01)
This is to pat Kelly from Marc's berea I love you baby:)
anonymous (2011-12-28 19:53:46)
"That way, if they get shredded, it's their own damn fault." I totally cracked up! XD
Cat lover (2011-12-24 12:46:13)
I would take those kittens in for $200.
Vitta (2011-12-16 11:45:07)
I find it slightly ironic that the add on my screen to the left of this post its for the ASPCA just thought I would share that lol
HAHA (2011-11-03 12:06:11)
@Alissa Wrong article.
Alissa (2011-10-24 21:35:18)
I just kill them because I hate deer. I can't tell you how many times I've stepped in deer shit - they shit everywhere. They are worse than old people. Best
joe (2011-10-24 13:46:23)
I think he uses kittens because most people understand some individuals really hate them; people are quick to believe he really hates them without thinking too much about it.
Jesus (2011-10-21 19:35:30)
You are going straight to the wood chipper in Hell!
Pussyoverbitch (2011-10-20 11:26:38)
This guy has a serious issue with cats, like most people, why people are so against cats ill never know. At least their breath dont stink as much as dogs, bark loud in the middle kf the night like dogs, take em out for walk like dogs. Cats fuckin suck
Johnny Eyeball (2011-10-19 10:11:48)
"I think a wood chipper would be the next most humane way." Absolute best thing.
LOL@FAGGOTS (2011-10-14 19:35:56)
BUTTHURS ANIMAL LOVING FAGGOTS UMAD FAGGOTS?
Kitten killer (2011-10-14 19:34:53)
Kittens = GAY We should destroy them all
Davidson (2011-10-14 03:28:43)
OH. It seems not. well, fuck me.
Davidson (2011-10-14 03:26:41)
I agree with dam. Also, you seem to have some kind of swear filter? surely peopl would be swearing all over the comments! Fuck you bitch!
dam (2011-10-14 03:24:38)
I know your joking, But still... that wicked sense of humour will prob get you murdered on the street. People dont take kindly to that talk of kittens. mate. Dont ever come to New Zealand okay? For your sake. Well its all in good, kitten killin' fun.
Ist Boon Schizer! (2011-10-12 00:23:08)
if your going to cull the litter you just throw them in a bag and toss em in the river. It's the final solution.
Kaeo (2011-10-06 10:45:13)
This actually instills a bit more faith in me that there are people who do not lack morals, who aren't as sick as the parody Mike is playing.
sojoro (2011-10-03 12:51:49)
Take a joke for christ sake...jeeze
A person (2011-10-01 09:15:22)
I would save innocent kittens, because: Greed=War and Money=Stupidity.
@internet jerk (2011-09-21 00:14:31)
it's not legal to kill cats dumbass
Holy Crap! (2011-09-19 03:25:19)
the guy is like.......... wow! No. I can't imagine the look in his face... lol!
Java (2011-09-07 05:32:23)
Ok, I officially hate the comments section. Also, I don't think some commenters realize that, when they say kittens aren't important and/or souless, people become the same way when they voluntarily kill an animal in such an inhumane way. Life is l
Internet Jerk (2011-08-30 15:19:57)
Besides, 'Murder' is an illegal homicide. Kittens aren't human, therefor nothing you do to kill them (legal or not) could be defined as 'Murder'.
Kittystormtrooper (2011-08-24 19:30:17)
Bwahahahahaha I need a wood chipper for my sister >:D plz answer wen u can thx
WTF (2011-08-19 01:23:41)
Hey, asshole. You can't "murder" kittens since they are soulless, godless, insignificant pieces of shit.
anonymous (2011-08-11 14:47:49)
The guy didn't even catch the "I'll leave my license as collateral", as he drives away.
JonBej (2011-08-03 04:54:38)
(not mulched, of course)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Holy FUck!
some guy (2011-07-28 00:13:54)
this was a good one, altough i think the dude who makes these e-mails has a serious issue with kittens, as this isn't the only e-mail about murdering them...
anonymous (2011-07-20 15:52:39)
"That way, if they get shredded, it's their own damn fault." Laughed my ass off!
Heather (2011-07-19 22:52:37)
Again, this was ridiculously funny...in tears!! Ditto to the other poster about "(not mulched of course)".....I'm losing my shit laughing over here and my own cats are like WTF?!
anonymous (2011-07-18 03:46:58)
I Lost it at "I can't stand these little fuckers pissing everywhere and clawing up my furniture." this guy is a fucking legend
meh (2011-07-17 23:03:08)
"Also, by choosing a kitten to keep for yourself, you are damning the rest to their mulchy fate. Choose carefully."
niix (2011-06-28 14:21:27)
ahaha, i've never seen so many consecutive periods before. a+
Kenneth (2011-06-23 21:57:29)
This reminds me of the woodchipper scene in the movie Fargo.
mark (2011-06-20 20:21:46)
(not mulched, of course) HAHAHAHAHA
petasux (2011-06-19 10:42:38)
yea really. peta are probably the biggest hypocritical scammers around. tricking people into donating millions, then turning around and killing 90% of the animals they rescue while criticizing others for doing it.
Smoikle (2011-06-17 18:09:09)
Come On, DasJuden; Everyone knows Peta people hate kittens more than anyone else. Do you know how many pets these people euthanize each year? If you're dog or cat is missing, it's probably gotten a lethal injection by a crazy PETA screw-head.
Cody (2011-06-16 23:41:16)
A wood chipper with a 6 inch input? For four grand? That is way overpriced brand new let alone new. The next smallest chipper is a paper shredder with a leaf blower at the bottom.
Stu (2011-06-13 21:45:11)
Completely lost my shit at "My cat just had a litter of kittens" Already knew what was coming... this shit is hilarious
HURR (2011-06-06 22:02:52)
What? People are dying all over the place! We shouldn't even THINK about saving the kittens because people are dying elsewhere! THIS MAKES PERFECT SENSE
M (2011-06-05 16:34:00)
Das Juden, Your the hypocrite! Your yelling at us for not making stopping it our 1# priority, But I don't see you doing anything! And Anyone with a desire to kill for no good reason, Deserved to be killed. (Killing is illegal, Except for in the army.)
M (2011-06-05 16:31:01)
Would you rather save innocent kittens, Or whine about starving humans? I mean, of Course I care, but I mean, Its not like you alone can stop it. It'd take a miracle, and a ton of money! And whining isn't going to help them.
@ $habbaH (2011-05-30 14:28:13)
Dude, cats are NOT anywhere near as important as people. I mean, why should anyone give a fuck if some guy throws cats into a wood chipper, tons of humans are dying from war/starvation across the world every day.
LMAO (2011-05-28 07:19:25)
I got an ad for hertz equipment rentals and pet food at petco LMFAO
LMAO (2011-05-28 07:18:18)
LMFAO @ (not mulched of course)
$habbaH (2011-05-28 05:26:41)
about war yourself?
$habbaH (2011-05-28 05:26:17)
Sas Juden, probably because that's all pretty much unreachable, can't do much about it ay... but when someone asks you to borrow that chipper, you can say no thus do something about it, personally, atleast for your own concious. What can you do ab
Das Juden (2011-05-27 10:45:00)
Why are people such fucking hypocrites nowadays? U dont care about ppl getting killed in war/serial killers, u see it every day, but when kittens get hurt you completely flip your shit. Fuck you peta fags!
anonymous (2011-05-25 15:05:08)
damn harold's deep lol
~/ (2011-05-24 20:59:51)
LOL "No. You are a sick sick sick sick sick person." LOL
VetoEVERYTHING (2011-05-16 14:14:03)
lol i think the guy was scared of the legal consequences of lending the wood chipper to a guy knowing he would kill cats with it. I doubt he'd give a fuck otherwise.
Brian (2011-05-08 12:38:21)
I think the kitty mulch would make yummy puppy treats
Bling (2011-05-02 22:42:27)
$4000 for a rusty ass wood chipper? Hell no.
omg no (2011-05-02 21:40:15)
so evil n horrible.... sick pple
48 & Appreciative (2011-04-30 10:25:44)
Needs to be in Top Rated. Hilarious! Thanks.
anonymous (2011-04-28 22:48:57)
I have a shredder for rent. 175.00
Joanne (2011-04-24 23:31:24)
HAROLD YOU FORGOT TO TAKE YOUR MEDICATION, WHEN I GET HOME YOURE IN IT DEEP! YOU BETTER BE ON THE COUCH AND AWAY FROM THE INTERNET!!!
Jay (2011-04-23 17:47:44)
oh man! This site just made my day
harold (2011-04-21 11:43:16)
Sounds like that,s some one needs to run your fat ass though a chipper, to see what you thing about it .
Anon (2011-04-20 20:26:35)
HILARIOUS!
anonymous (2011-04-19 03:13:17)
lmfaorolsdodndondond
myName is burritos. (2011-04-13 15:23:15)
PENIS!
jonh (2011-04-06 16:57:08)
Lollllollloloooolllollloolllllll
hamilot (2011-04-06 16:56:37)
Dude don't just say lol u fag
jonh (2011-04-06 15:06:06)
Lolllolllollllllllllllllllloooooolllollllllllooooollllllllllololoo
Heather (2011-04-06 07:54:39)
People are so fucking sensitive nowadays. Seriously, people, grow some. It's a damn joke. I'll joke about cumming on your mother's face if I want to.
kristen.. (2011-04-04 16:31:53)
this is toooo funny!!! never laughed so hard... lmao lmao.
Abby (2011-04-02 01:35:26)
I've read this three times now and I'm still laughing ... way too funny!
ADSF (2011-03-29 18:09:09)
I know I've been beaten to it, but still, I was expected a Fargo reference may have been in order here.
Oetti (2011-03-28 23:05:22)
Smile :)
anonymous (2011-03-24 09:52:56)
Don't worry: The problem with only a 6" input is when you're lowering the kittens through such a small hole they become somewhat unagreeable - and let you know about it. So this may have been a fruitless endeavour anyway...
mamajama (2011-03-23 23:30:20)
Ha Ha... Come on people... All in good fun... It's called "e-mails from an ass hole" for a reason! This guy is friggin' hilarious.. :)
anon (2011-03-23 12:20:16)
gaise calm down im pretty sure "dave the pussy" is trolling
Trojan Man (2011-03-22 20:44:49)
ok, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! ITS A JOKE! DONT GET SO GOD DAMN SHOCKED!!!
DasNatos (2011-03-22 20:43:11)
lol why the fuck do people get so shocked from some dude killing a few cats? the dude selling the woodchipper clearly hasnt thought this through... if a guy is trying to kill 6 cats, he will do it. a woodchipper is more humane, and now that guy is gonna s
anonymous2 (2011-03-22 09:09:42)
whats wrong with New Englanders!?
@dave the pussy (2011-03-21 15:07:59)
Your country is crashing down because people have humour?....wow.
dave the pussy (2011-03-07 02:18:37)
I cant get over how people think something so sick and not right is actually funny ..... no wonder why our country is crashing down ....
Airdudewolff (2011-02-26 10:38:12)
Werd up man, you did it again. HILARIOUS!!... but you got a thing for torturing kittens; this is like the fourth one I've seen.
facebookfan (2011-02-20 17:28:04)
I can't stand these little fuckers pissing everywhere and clawing up my furniture - had me in STITCHES.
Buttermello (2011-02-19 20:54:28)
"I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course)" hahahahahaha!!!
plug from pottstown (2011-02-15 22:43:45)
Keep up the funny work. Very amusing!
Trowanaen (2011-02-08 08:16:03)
this is test only .pls del my topic this is test only .pls del my topic
Stu uk (2011-02-07 15:27:18)
Quality - your from England aren't you????
Lolz (2011-02-07 00:23:21)
I can't stand thoughs little fuckers!! LOL I LAUGHED SO HARD!! XD
nmhhhkmhn (2011-02-02 23:34:37)
I looked up your model and saw it has a 6 inch input, which I think will be perfect for me. nice
Antonio (2011-01-26 17:46:20)
This is one of the few that actually disgusts me
pagboasia (2011-01-26 02:42:17)
Girlfriend and bang are the almost good-looking things in the public. It’s so piquant to see some seductive young girl in anal beads. It’s so good to see their butts covered by underwear and snatch getting incursion by some vast strong cock. Girl havin
@allthequeers (2011-01-22 01:40:57)
This email was a prank no little kitties where injured.. calm the fuck down..
SickFuck (2011-01-07 12:03:24)
THis is fucking hilarious!
Marlena (2011-01-04 03:02:40)
"(not mulched of course)"... LMFAO!!!!
THIS WAS FUNNY (2011-01-02 21:51:06)
....................wow No.
Kitten (2011-01-02 21:49:36)
this statement is very offencive I decided to put meow mix all around the input, and just leave the kittens near it. That way, if they get shredded, it is their own damn fault, and my hands are clean. it is proven that we kittens can not resist meow mi
Brett (2011-01-01 23:57:18)
Michael Vick would do this to cats. Id still love him though cus hes a beast in football
anonymous (2010-12-31 14:26:45)
Keep up the good work man. Love the details and the ignorance..like how you actually researched his woodchipper to find the input size and how you thought of a way to make it not your fault lol
anonymous (2010-12-29 09:30:23)
Please... Whoever thinks he would really woodchip kittens needs to go in their rooms and think if a person would really do that, and when you realize what a cock-sucker you are for believing this is legit. Stay... Stay in your room and suck cock forever.
SexaySexay (2010-12-28 21:04:54)
OMGLMFAO @ "I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course)" Tears! TEARS I SAY!!!
Additional Pylons. (2010-12-28 19:27:20)
This is hilarious I don't know how you come up with this stuff but please keep it going! :)
InHindsight (2010-12-16 05:53:46)
You should have asked if you could just use it to chip some "wood" after revealing the plan lol. It would have been sketchier, and even more hilarious
Karl_Thomas (2010-12-15 00:42:52)
I don't know what's more amusing, kitties in a wood chipper or idiots that take offense to it and cry about it. Dull minded people are a plenty online! Thank you for subjecting yourself to John for our amusement!
Broseph (2010-12-12 17:38:03)
Why should he take this down? It's humor, people
Just Saying (2010-12-05 12:39:46)
I think people ought to read the Disclaimer section before reading his posts....."No illegal act has or will not occur." Or something like that.
theyseemetrollin (2010-11-29 18:55:00)
@shadowsid You obviously need to learn the meaning of trolling. None of these stories are real, and you fell for one. Good job.
fu (2010-11-28 18:09:03)
if ur not laughing at this shit ur way to anal... no kittens were harmed at the making of this so get ur head out of ur ass and stop being so close minded.
I like his neck (2010-11-28 11:24:44)
the "not mulched' seriously cracked me up. I like it that the guy was determined to know what for...
Shadowsid (2010-11-27 04:08:33)
All you sicks fucks just need to go to hell. This shit is so goddamn disgusting. I think no I wish that the us government would come in and kill this stupid idiotic motherfucker and burn his computer. No A quick death is to good for this shitstain. He sho
obamozixx (2010-11-10 18:51:05)
Албанские женщины. Птица летит Пожалуйст
1 upnu (2010-11-07 23:55:05)
What in the he'll is ?( dgehfbfurbhsfge ) suppose to mean!!?there is some real DS reading this great site.
anthony (2010-11-06 00:37:13)
this was pretty fucken funny. i laughed out loud. but u've been funnier.
Im tired of idiots (2010-11-03 02:56:51)
mrtesla (2010-10-28 06:24:05) Delete this topic plz _________ DELETE YOURSELF
Snix (2010-11-01 16:25:41)
.......................................wow.
not anonymous (2010-11-01 15:28:51)
ha who ever is asking to take these things down is as stupid as some of the people he emails, or pretends to be...they are for entertainment, dont read it if you cant handle it...
not anonymous (2010-11-01 15:28:50)
ha who ever is asking to take these things down is as stupid as some of the people he emails, or pretends to be...they are for entertainment, dont read it if you cant handle it...
2goo4you (2010-10-29 08:32:35)
all the fags who are saying 'take the post down' are just bastards with no sense of humour
mrtesla (2010-10-28 06:24:05)
Delete this topic plz
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omg! thisi s funny as hell!
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Julia (2010-10-24 09:13:42)
"That way, if they get shredded, it is their own damn fault, and my hands are clean" trying to keep your karma clean? ;)
tRolololl (2010-10-14 22:54:25)
I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course).
RL (2010-10-06 12:26:14)
throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course) lol
Rinky (2010-10-03 14:07:40)
Would it work on a frozen X wife? I really need the freezer space.
Jonny! (2010-10-02 18:10:20)
for the guy that said take the post down now, FUCK YOU!!! this ad is so funny! ahhah
raebaby (2010-09-21 18:41:41)
omfg this is absolutely hilarious :) youre awesome
Hameater85 (2010-09-20 10:04:35)
Tim, really now. Cmon you know this is a joke. Everyone loves kittens when they don't pee on you. No need to get worked up. He's just trolling you. P.s They taste great.
captain chaos (2010-09-20 06:11:35)
this made my day (:
CJ (2010-09-12 00:06:01)
I'm waiting for someone to reply to one of these who would seriously accept an offer of $200 to shred up cats. :P
anonymous (2010-09-09 04:55:28)
Fargostyle
rainbobrite (2010-09-07 17:33:10)
"and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course)" I nearly wee'd on my self laughing!
Chairman (2010-09-06 21:45:25)
For those who get this humor, no explanation is necessary; for those who don't, none is possible. Dude, you are HILARIOUS! Please do more. you're making the world a happier place. Thank you!
Tim (2010-09-04 21:23:43)
@BehindGod Animals don't have souls? Lol, then neither do humans. Scientifically (I know, not a word religious zealots like you like to hear), humans are just animals: We are just slightly more evolved and are capable of abstract thought. Don't
happy here (2010-09-04 15:41:51)
Greatness!!
anonymous (2010-09-03 02:21:13)
KILL THIS POST NOW FUCKER!! IT'S FAKE AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT, KILL IT NOW, IM NOT KIDDING!!
broobefeaws (2010-08-31 09:34:25)
Sorry admin - my post is test
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cinsboose (2010-08-21 17:28:23)
DELETE THIS TOPIC!!
@GU1M3 (2010-08-16 22:38:33)
"I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course)" OMG, I never laughted this much on a website! hahahaha
Ginger (2010-08-15 08:37:46)
SUCK MA BUTT UR ALL TURDZZZZZZZZz
. (2010-08-13 22:39:49)
lmao at the meow mix part
lol (2010-08-07 01:58:59)
You guys are dumb... its a joke.. Its not like if he allowed him to really do it, he would.. There are no kittens to begin with it was a joke.... geeze..
Re: John (2010-08-06 02:55:56)
this material is obviously not for pussies! so get the fuck out.
john (2010-08-06 01:07:38)
not funny. it was just disturbing.
Sister of a ginger (2010-08-01 17:38:55)
@Miller my baby brother is a ginger, and you're an ass
loco (2010-07-26 00:38:45)
meow mix... classic!
knm2005 (2010-07-25 01:34:27)
you are so funnnny hahahah i love ur emails.
Miller (2010-07-23 07:35:57)
Animals don't have souls? Harsh...It's not like we're talking about Gingers here.
KoJaX (2010-07-23 01:01:59)
BehindGod: People like you are the reason people like Mike exist. You are everyone else in these emails, and all of us are laughing at you.
BehindGod (2010-07-23 00:05:15)
Imagine if that man would have allowed you to do this. Animals may not have souls but they are created by God and you may not know this but you are NOT God.
Mike (2010-07-17 23:18:57)
"what are you using it for ?"...."Don't worry about that "... LOL !!!!
Pьgg (2010-07-17 12:57:40)
By the time he said, "I can't stand these little fuckers pissing everywhere and clawing up my furniture," I was literally crying from laughter. Great job, Mustafi!
miss fouroclock (2010-07-13 13:48:16)
i like "that way, if they get shredded, it's their own damn fault and my hands are clean". Kittens. can't keep their damn paws out of the meow mix.
A Dude Man (2010-07-13 08:53:52)
Why the fuck do people comment on this saying shit like "not funny" or "lame?" Like, who cares? It's all good, man. Chill the fuck out.
Youros (2010-07-09 13:09:35)
Wow. I guess the laws against prank phone calls and caller ID ruined your previous fun. Whenever you finally grow up, you'll look back and say to yourself, "I should have just blown strangers at the bus depot for money instead of trying to mak
KLASJDLASJD (2010-07-01 22:55:02)
GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAKLKSAJDKLSJDLAKSDJ
Roardogg (2010-07-01 17:12:58)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
hahaohwow (2010-06-24 04:24:55)
As soon as I saw the word "kittens" I had a feeling what the rest of the e-mail would entail. So I had to pause myself and prepare. hahaha
digaro (2010-06-23 17:47:58)
not mulched of course... hahaha wow
tim (2010-06-23 04:01:34)
all other posts have made me cry with laughter, but even in this ridiculousl post, i cant chuckle at dying kittens. Children? any fucking day! But Kittens, no way man.
A Kyunt (2010-06-22 12:10:22)
".. if they get shredded, it is their own damn fault.." Fucking brilliant, man. I just laughed to tears on that one. :-D
Darby (2010-06-20 12:24:11)
I hate kittens, but I just use a 5 gallon bucket of water mixed with bleach. You can skip the bleach if you want to use the fur or eat the meat.
anon (2010-06-07 20:43:22)
Meow Mix. LMAO. Made my day.
anonymous (2010-06-02 13:39:44)
I was driving home today and somehow thought about that Meow Mix bit and I started laughing all over again. Iams or Purina wouldn't have been nearly so funny.
Natasha (2010-05-23 19:35:00)
Its shock comedy you idiots! Like being caught on punk'd or just for laugh gags, yes at first your like wtf, but you find yourself smiling once you know its just a joke...Good for you, who ever made this shit up....VERY CREATIVE and a revolution for c
bassilus (2010-05-14 04:53:54)
Oh man, i laughed so hard. It made my day, thank you :) P.S. Meow mix part is priceless :D
Dillon (2010-05-08 03:55:41)
IM LMFAOing SOOOO EFFING HARD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA funniest thing ive EVER SEEN!!
Name (2010-04-25 22:26:34)
hahahaha... i'll throw in a free kitten (not mulched of course). great!
good stuff (2010-04-21 00:49:12)
thx4lol
DrEvo82 (2010-04-18 16:23:04)
The end part about adding the Meow Mix is classic!! I haven't laughed this hard in awhile.
:] (2010-04-18 00:46:42)
wow if those cats were really killed but a wood chipper, that would be brutal.
kita (2010-04-11 06:00:05)
did he die?
Hilarious Dude (2010-03-25 02:55:41)
That IAMS ad is full of EPIC WIN!!!
Hot Carl (2010-03-24 16:16:44)
Oh give me a break. You say you read all of his shit, and this one is wrong for some reason?? Dude they are all wrong, thats the joke! He doesnt really do this shit dumb ass.
Lt. Dan (2010-03-23 21:46:52)
hahaha "Ill throw in a free kitten" that is some funny shit
Amelia (2010-03-22 02:19:52)
Gotta agree with Sean! Lol. The IAMS cat food ad above is a hilarious addition to the story!
Sean (2010-03-17 19:09:03)
I think the best part is the IAMS cat food ad above the comments section
$250 and a kitten (2010-03-17 00:34:14)
Not Mulched of course....haha best line ever!
STOP BITCHING (2010-03-16 20:09:43)
@Tina: suck a big one. NO HE DOESNT REALLY DO THIS STUFF. Why are some people so fucking stupid? just shut the hell up and laugh.
Echoz (2010-03-16 00:59:50)
I have a cat, but I also have a sense of humor. Freakin brilliant. And.. of course.. to the people that whine in the comments... Thank you for adding to the lulz! =D
Wtfomgroflcopter (2010-03-14 16:54:09)
That's the point dumb ass...
lol.... (2010-03-14 08:49:21)
so so fake...all the e-mails are written by the same person
anonymous (2010-03-05 00:02:49)
"I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course)." I cant breathe Im laughing so hard....
Tina (2010-03-04 10:53:41)
I've read a lot of your emails and they are mostly funny, but this one is just wrong. You have something wrong with you to be able to even type that.
Dlock (2010-03-01 15:58:16)
the google ad next to mine is for lost cats haha
Jak (2010-02-26 15:14:52)
trollface.jpg
yeah (2010-02-26 01:42:19)
this shit be funny!
ahuh. (2010-02-25 21:39:48)
this one is just stupid. that's sick to even think about.
F.Yizall (2010-02-23 04:03:23)
Yip, Fargo for sure!
wolbobb (2010-02-22 23:45:39)
"I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course)." Classic lol
anonymous (2010-02-22 15:38:37)
hahahahhahah
skew (2010-02-20 03:49:05)
lmoaaaaaaaa
Anonymous (2010-02-18 10:31:41)
This made me think of fargo.
PENIS (2010-02-15 15:41:17)
Haha that is halarious, right when it started talking about the litter of cats I started cracking up
Doopliss (2010-02-13 18:31:56)
I laughed so hard I urinated on the internet: cyber urine.
Discoman (2010-02-12 22:22:24)
quite nice. Very amusing-I couldn't stop laughing. I must admit, with the whole wood chipper and not mentioning its use, i assumed you were going to say it was for disposing of a body.
hur. (2010-02-12 16:13:08)
i read this and theres cat ads everywhere xD.
Michael Marcel (2010-02-12 02:15:26)
i'm an american working at a reptile zoo here in the philippines and i always just feed my friends unwanted kittens and puppies to the big pythons or the crocodiles because it gets way too messy when we give them to the monitor lizards. it's a big
bonzo (2010-02-04 01:39:06)
hilarious, but the sunCATcher enclosure ad on the page made this 100x better
Nissi23 (2010-02-01 01:30:50)
OMG!! This totally made my day.. I can't stop laughing! " Its their own damn fault" lmAO!
I agree w/ this guy- (2010-01-21 00:32:24)
With Craigslist being so popular, it is impossible for you to see all of the OPPORTUNITIES that jackasses post and you could have fun with. PLEASE add a section for people to send you craigslist postings to respond to. Missed Connections w/ fat girls.....
buckyrself (2010-01-20 16:58:53)
just curb stomp them!!!
Anju-BanPun Malhico (2010-01-18 15:47:37)
"I think a wood chipper would be the next most humane way" Tried thinking of other ways... and I've got hand it to him, wood chipper seems to be the best bet. They throw cows in wood chippers (whole) in some parts of the world. It makes the
Anonymous Coward (2010-01-17 22:41:23)
Your shit keeps getting better and better. The funniest ones are when you fuck with the jews.
JimJap (2010-01-17 18:23:17)
I just LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE dudes reaction. ".......................................wow. No."
hammerhead messiah (2010-01-17 13:32:16)
Everyone- Let's do what we can to prove Gucci wrong. Try as hard as you can to resist the urge to throw a bunch of kittens in a woodchipper. Goddamn.
Gucci (2010-01-16 23:15:22)
Ok, Look - There's entirely too many cruel people out there that are abusing animals.. we don't need you giving them more ideas. This went entirely too far because sadly there's twisted sick idiots out there that do this kind of stuff. Please
hammerhead messiah (2010-01-16 13:58:44)
What the hell fun is an un-mulched kitten?
Totalblammblamm (2010-01-16 13:37:32)
As a cat owner, I have to say that this exchange was the funniest one yet! You're doing the work of god here, son. Keep it up! XD
Your mom (2010-01-15 23:03:18)
that makes me sad :(
Mulched (2010-01-14 11:02:04)
"...throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course)." Best part.
N. Lampoon (2010-01-13 18:12:27)
That's not funny, that's sick.....
Bob (2010-01-12 17:35:05)
Ya'll need to get a life.
anonymous (2010-01-08 11:57:13)
"funny rating" went down, not to the peeps that genuinely want to see another great email.
The Goon (2010-01-08 11:48:23)
Hah! This is what you clowns get for being annoying and critiquing every email he writes. Now you're complaining that he isn't sending an email. Beggars can't be choosers. I'm only talking to the idiots that complain about how his "fun
because... (2010-01-08 10:13:23)
the yankees won
matt (2010-01-08 09:16:49)
all these comments are good and all but i mean, come on! what we should REALLY be focusing on when we cant read a new update is how much the PHILLIES are going to kick major A$$ this year, am i right?!
anonymous (2010-01-08 08:13:43)
Dam it, put up some stuff plzzz <3
Gucci (2010-01-07 18:52:56)
Need now nupdate
Chill @ @Chill (2010-01-07 18:43:04)
Whoa...ummm all I said was if you aren't happy see how hard it is yourself, I have no idea who the ass was, with the money he makes he'll prob. go on for as long as people have money.
Joe - ****@gmail.com (2010-01-07 18:40:15)
How about $350 and I'll chip the kittens for you? Just drop them and the money off at my house.
whoa (2010-01-07 16:38:46)
calm the fuck down. this shouldn't ruin your lives.
@Chill (2010-01-07 16:20:58)
Oh, and they bitch and whine because they are fans and want more.. why would they bitch and wine if they werent? So you should probably take your quotes off of the word fans.. dumbass.
@Chill (2010-01-07 16:19:25)
I very highly doubt he is going to stop doing them, he is just being lazy about it. He makes a profit off it, and he knows people will keep coming because it's good stuff. I dont think anyone 'bitching' is going to make him stop.
matt (2010-01-07 15:55:29)
go PHILLIES!!! i mean am i right or am i right?
Heh (2010-01-07 15:06:37)
One day he'll stop doing these completely. And you know why? Because of bitching and whining "fans" who feel he owes them.
Chill (2010-01-07 14:53:29)
For all those looking for update, if you think it is so easy to pop these out why not try it yourself and see how well that turns out. All others know it takes time for genius.
bleh (2010-01-07 13:11:46)
jesus fucking christ, will you update already?!
yeahhh. (2010-01-07 11:25:15)
I dont understand why you dont update more often.. your ruining something amazing. Previous comments have stated this site could be huge.. and it could be.. but you dont do your part.
anonymous (2010-01-07 08:30:49)
doooood... time for a new one. this site has so much potential but so little regular added content. I'm pullin for you, your site could be huge.
Narwhal G Oddamn (2010-01-07 06:29:26)
f u c k n a r w h a l g o d d a m a m n
Josh (2010-01-07 03:27:47)
One of my favorites, love this site, keep it up!
Anonymous (2010-01-07 01:40:24)
chill out people, genius takes time.
Damn (2010-01-06 22:58:35)
Fukin update site rucker
MOAR (2010-01-06 19:21:26)
MOAR POSTS
@ @ @ @blar (2010-01-06 18:03:00)
LOL
Vlad (2010-01-06 15:30:26)
When is the next update, I cant wait!
fuck u (2010-01-06 14:20:35)
u dickwad the rss doesnt work
@ @ @blar (2010-01-06 13:54:13)
Emails from an asshole, commented by dicks.
@ @blar (2010-01-06 12:24:35)
wow ur a dick
@blar (2010-01-06 10:12:38)
Oh wow you noticed! You're clever. Because you see, we read these emails but never notice the jokes they contain.
blar (2010-01-05 22:47:56)
Did anyone notice how he said he would drive to the place, and then leave his license as collateral? heh
YOURADUMBFUCK (2010-01-05 19:24:08)
THE RSS LINK DOES NOT WORK YA AR-TARD
Ice Cube (2010-01-05 14:23:10)
Y'all are losers, there's a link to the RSS feed in the FAQ section.
Rss. (2010-01-05 13:20:35)
I need Rss it's very depressing to come to this website daily and after almost 2 weeks see no updates.
RSS NAO (2010-01-05 12:11:13)
@desu agreed 100% need rss
asfsda (2010-01-04 22:11:57)
how often is this site updated i want more
Td (2010-01-04 20:43:33)
Haha sick bastard
desu (2010-01-04 19:20:01)
Screw what ppl think this shits hilarious keep em comming an pleaseeeee make an rss on your site
Zander (2010-01-04 18:59:57)
FIRST
slacker (2010-01-04 17:34:04)
we need more....it been a long time... i need my fix like i need my crack!!!
Agent 12 Years Old (2010-01-04 15:57:01)
Playing pranks on your dad, heh? lol you saddo.
Agent Michael Scarn (2010-01-04 15:55:27)
Simply hilarious. Keep up the good stuff. I tried omething liek this on my dad buying an antique off of him. I said my daughter had malaria. I got my dad to reduce the price by 100$. Anways, keep up the good work, and dont listen to the losers saying it
bigjew (2010-01-04 15:31:25)
not funny... Come up with some new material eh? Retarded.
Miry (2010-01-04 13:30:43)
Please let this not have happened...
Cummy Joe (2010-01-04 08:29:05)
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ooooh yeah... That was the old stuff, baby.
ADDAPOSTINGFORREPLY (2010-01-03 15:51:00)
With Craigslist being so popular, it is impossible for you to see all of the OPPORTUNITIES that jackasses post and you could have fun with. Any chance you will add a section for people to send you craigslist posting to respond to? Missed Connections and
Homosexual (2010-01-03 09:52:09)
This post is approved by the official homosexual, cum guzzler posters here.
GRACIANO (2010-01-03 05:09:33)
NOMBRE WEY, THIS SITE IS THE FUNNIEST EVA
Cummy Joe (2010-01-02 22:53:42)
I'm... gonna... cum...
LOLZ (2010-01-02 18:26:35)
haha browsing through the google ads is brilliant: Cat Fleece Jackets Our beautiful jackets will keep you warm on the coldest of days! www.FleeceCorner.com --------- Win a Years Kitten Food Register Now & Win A Years Cat Food Ј5 Off Hills Science
Tommy Boy (2010-01-02 16:19:05)
I think the funniest part of this one is the Google ads on the page are for Meow Mix.
NOW (2010-01-02 10:25:09)
YOU'RE DUE FOR AN UPDATE. POST A NEW ONE NOW.
Pooky McGummypants (2010-01-02 04:01:25)
Sometimes the comments are an amusement in themselves. I love you stupid people!
puddy (2010-01-02 02:20:23)
please don't mulch teh kittehs.
Yin Chang (2010-01-02 01:16:40)
i buy all kitten you have. how much?
what? (2010-01-01 22:46:53)
I don't see what's so funny about it. I kill baby cats all the time...
Yiff (2010-01-01 20:38:57)
I'm in the mood for some good old yiffing.
rancor (2010-01-01 18:52:00)
I drove out to the desert and saw this going on the witch said turn left at the next J Tree and proceed to the water rock where it all became clear when explained by the man from Winchester.
Salomon Perelberg (2010-01-01 16:27:51)
What do you have against jews?
hans (2010-01-01 16:17:52)
if there is still someone who does not get it please dont be shy and ask and i will explain betther for you for just a small fee
u delete comments (2010-01-01 15:21:44)
r u a joo?
Joe (2010-01-01 14:03:47)
I'll take $300 and the free kitten. Are you still interested?
TT (2010-01-01 11:06:35)
This was a perfect way to start the new year! Thanks Mike!
FART (2009-12-31 22:34:04)
Ha ha this is funey like when he wants to make the cats leave because he doen't like tem! funey stuff! im the only one here who gets this jokie
GETTHE (2009-12-31 22:28:20)
Fuck back to work, i'm bored you bastard. And V V V all these people are fags
DJ (2009-12-31 21:16:25)
AWESOME lol "if they get shredded, its their own damn fault" LMAO
BIG H (2009-12-31 16:13:28)
I need to get rid of some kittens too.
Shane (2009-12-31 13:57:29)
Ah shit, this is so funny
Hopeful! (2009-12-31 13:50:55)
and Xiang Zou makes me laugh.. a lot..
Hopeful! (2009-12-31 13:50:10)
I was hoping to get an extra post or two from you for our Christmas and New Years present.. Soooo.. Christmas has passed.. but you can still make up for it on New Years!
Robaire (2009-12-31 08:00:39)
You truly are sick. Killing kittens in a wood chipper? Wow. You sick sick freak. The other person is right to be offended. How can you even find this funny. Jesus Christ.
tiger (2009-12-30 23:41:04)
keep em coming man, these are great. and anybody who thinks these are serious or not funny should not comment or go back to watching porn
Earl (2009-12-30 14:34:07)
I knew where this was going by the first sentance. Awesome stuff keep up the good work mike!
SO ANAL (2009-12-30 13:42:20)
I have a korean restaraunt I'd like to take take the kittens. we will mulch them ourselves. kabobs, anyone?
Ogden (2009-12-30 09:54:47)
The only thing wrong with a kitten is that it becomes a cat.
So what? (2009-12-30 08:58:48)
I wear kittens as mittens.
Xiang Zou (2009-12-30 06:35:22)
I will take all kitty.
John (2009-12-29 23:53:28)
This made me laugh out loud.
MiMi (2009-12-29 22:28:03)
not too crazy about mulched kittens. I just lost my appetite.
FAQreader (2009-12-29 21:32:26)
@Bobby: He goes through many failed attempts. Only one in ten respond, according to the FAQ, and I suspect that not very many of those are funny.
GCL (2009-12-29 20:38:24)
............................wow. No. Good reply. LOL!
sherry.lavone (2009-12-29 19:54:02)
good. he got it back ;)
? (2009-12-29 19:46:56)
What kind of a twisted asshole thinks this guy is serious? CRISP!
anonymous (2009-12-29 18:24:01)
Heck I'm a vegetarian and the very last line still made me laugh.
Hey yo (2009-12-29 18:04:28)
DAt Funnie
wantRSS (2009-12-29 17:31:01)
Man I love this site. Can you please enable/add an RSS feed so we can receive the hilarity in our readers?
(2009-12-29 15:34:21)
sf
Pet Stores Inc. (2009-12-29 14:59:06)
Yes please bring your unwanted kittens to pet stores. They are the perfect food for our snakes.
crisp (2009-12-29 14:21:56)
who ever you are the one that wants to put kittens in the wood chipper you are one very sick person you should be put through the chipper how about taking them to the pet store or shelter for animals you sick f...k
anon (2009-12-29 10:42:13)
I'm surprised nobody has noticed/pointed this out yet... I think this is alluding to Stephen Colbert: on one of his "better know a district" segments he challenged a representative to debate putting kittens in woodchippers.
James (2009-12-29 04:33:23)
Just awful.. Please retire.
lovin it (2009-12-29 02:04:14)
"........wow .no." one of the best responces EVER.
anonymous (2009-12-28 16:54:46)
Get it? Because the smurf doesn't NEED another pair of socks! LOL.
Dog ass (2009-12-28 15:19:53)
Duncan is a jizzbag assplug who needs to ram a 12 guage up his arse and pull the trigger.
Ann_Hedonia (2009-12-28 15:16:50)
Not mulched, of course...EPIC! LOVE 'em!
Felinus Chiptis (2009-12-28 10:35:47)
So, curiosity really might have killed the kittens. This gives a whole new meaning to the term "Meow Mix." P.S.: Death to everyone who posts negative energy here, 'cept me.
anonymous (2009-12-27 22:11:40)
this was tooooo funny!! please keep'em coming!!
bhuber (2009-12-27 20:32:36)
P.E.T.A = People Eating Tasty Animals
DR HANS (2009-12-27 20:25:47)
I LIKES MORE SHIZA THAN J00!!! HA HA HO HO!
HAS HAS (2009-12-27 19:31:20)
HA HA! I LAUF HARDS! HA HAS
eric (2009-12-27 18:42:37)
driver's license as collateral!! best part of this post haha
David Mamet (2009-12-27 10:30:48)
This one is very funny (even though it was predictable, the delivery was beautiful). "Barely Legal Little Leaguers" and "Christmas Dinner" were raucously funny. "Vegan Housemate" and "Racist Microwaver Buyer" are mildly div
hipster (2009-12-27 03:44:02)
Yeah your early stuff was way better. Right guys..
AJAX (2009-12-26 21:36:07)
This shit was funny as hell....Good work on doing the buildup..lol fuck the kittens
Burnie (2009-12-26 19:04:33)
I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course) Haha
spink (2009-12-26 18:06:31)
fail
butt fuck (2009-12-26 16:13:53)
1st
soar (2009-12-26 02:34:08)
Yea, this one kind of sucked major balls.
inc (2009-12-25 23:15:48)
Great, but i think this one in particular needed some more buildup.
Jim Bob (2009-12-25 18:40:21)
I'm a cat lover, too. They taste like chicken.
AutismMom (2009-12-25 16:36:48)
lmfao! That was priceless. Laughed so loud I woke my son up from his nap.
H (2009-12-25 15:08:25)
Bravo! That's great.
saberXray (2009-12-25 14:52:34)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Bobby (2009-12-25 12:58:27)
And with the amount of time in between each of these you'd figure he could come up with something better. How many failed attempts do you go through?
anonymous (2009-12-25 12:57:10)
least favorite of them so far... it was too serious at the start.
Billy (2009-12-25 12:57:05)
Aww, this one is kinda sad :( Still laughed my ass off, though.
g (2009-12-25 10:20:21)
this shit always has me laughin, thanks again
phil from Belgium (2009-12-25 08:21:46)
not mulched of course... epic!!!!
J (2009-12-25 06:47:43)
Epic! Throwing in a free kitten, lol.
Damnatedroknalpat (2009-12-25 03:33:25)
I don't want a lot for christmas, there is just one thing I need!
Alas... (2009-12-24 23:07:37)
These are getting less funny. The last few have really not been very funny, especially given the expectations created by the incredibly funny earlier ones.
2truefanlosinghope (2009-12-24 22:36:17)
Maybe the problem lies with u and ur lack of a sense of humor. Plenty of us still lol. Perhaps u should find another site. Good ridance!
true fan,losing hope (2009-12-24 21:51:15)
mike, THIS FUCKING SUCKED. terribly. are you putting this stupid shit up so people will hate you, and you wont have to worry about putting up new posts anymore?
Daniel (2009-12-24 17:08:03)
Lame!! ass clowns!
jonathan (2009-12-24 15:23:54)
i can not stop reading. i usually never laugh at loud when i read something online but this i cannot help myself.
andromeda (2009-12-24 14:08:07)
Your e-mails are my guilty pleasure...
lmao (2009-12-24 13:53:06)
lmao love it man i always look forward to looking at these
txtff (2009-12-24 13:25:08)
hah! always a joy to view this website during working hours! especially when my coworkers probably think i'm crazy for laughing by myself...they r correct...
The Goon (2009-12-24 13:02:10)
Wow that's totally not nice....this guy wants to make some cash selling his wood chipper, and you are telling him you want to murder cats! Shame on you!!
yaman (2009-12-24 12:38:11)
... I'm a vegetarian, member of PETA and own 2 cats... so I shouldn't think this is funny... but I laughed so hard that I peed a little...one little drop.
The Critic (2009-12-24 12:00:50)
A return to form, reminiscent of past glories. The Critic was highly amused and gives this one a well deserved 8/10.
kay (2009-12-24 11:53:39)
Oh man this one had me in tears I was laughing so hard. I love this site!
Continued (2009-12-24 11:00:48)
They're superior to others because they're older. Enjoy the site and shut up.
@dear spoiled kids (2009-12-24 10:58:36)
Let's all give him the recognition he so sorely craves. Your comment applied to the previous e-mail, but not here, so shut up. We heard you the first time. Don't make us cut off your high horse's legs. Sincerely, those who don't think they
Bada (2009-12-24 10:52:41)
@ fucktards. Friendtoall's post was just dripping with sarcasm. If you couldn't see that go crawl back up your mom's v-jays.
Dun Can. (2009-12-24 10:48:43)
It's funny because he was going to use the chipper to kill kittens. lol
Don DeMaria (2009-12-24 10:24:30)
I have read all of these e-mails, and I am still laughing. What a great way to spread holiday cheer!
Hoq (2009-12-24 09:02:30)
As a cat lover, I found this hilarious, and if you're a pretentious cunt who can't take a joke, I hope you die in your sleep and your cats skull-rape your vapid corpse.
Dear spoiled kids (2009-12-24 08:19:57)
P.S. Merry Christmas, Sincerely, The Adults on the Internet
Dear spoiled kids (2009-12-24 08:19:25)
Please stop posting comments on things you read/watch/hear for free on the internet expressing your dislike of their quality. How about you create your own content instead of sitting in your parents house whining, you fat, introverted, immature pricks.
lol (2009-12-24 06:45:14)
damn I lol'd at "it's their own damn fault" keep em coming!
anonymous (2009-12-24 04:55:38)
merry christmas! keep it coming.
zz (2009-12-24 03:36:24)
I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course) ahahahaaa
theheklor (2009-12-24 02:13:06)
My favorite is the google ads on the side! Cat food, allergy meds and In-Home Pet Euthinasia!
Yes Please (2009-12-24 01:38:23)
Thank u Mike for having me laugh out loud all year. Thank you
Smity (2009-12-24 01:22:51)
I loved it! You are the man.
great (2009-12-24 00:45:33)
this one brought back the charm that the original e mails had
Peter K (2009-12-23 23:45:54)
Sorry dude but this one didn't even make me chuckle
Felcher (2009-12-23 23:45:09)
Yay! Weekly updates! Fantastic!!!! I'm a vet, and I want to forward this post to my local Humane Society branch so they can have a good laugh for Christmas too
Maxx (2009-12-23 23:39:47)
Your losing your touch bro.
Allstar (2009-12-23 22:14:08)
@Friend To All: As a cat owner and someone with a sense of humour, I find Mike's post hilarious ;-)
Hey (2009-12-23 21:25:20)
Ivana, holy shit and friend to all: you cunts shouldn't even be reading this site as you are clearly not equipted with a sense of humor. Assholes.
fastfunfurious (2009-12-23 21:01:06)
if you are ever in Dowagiac, Michigan i will buy you a beer
fastfunfurious (2009-12-23 20:57:56)
thanks for the Chistmas E-mail from an asshole ROFLMAO
sweedish (2009-12-23 20:43:24)
Hahaha, a.w.e.s.o.m.e.! I <4 you!
Friend to All (2009-12-23 20:35:21)
As a cat owner, I find your remarks highly offensive and downright disgusting. You, and everyone else who found this funny, should be ashamed of yourselves!
Steve (2009-12-23 20:24:24)
"my hands are clean". Fucking brilliant!
asst (2009-12-23 20:15:10)
probably the least funny one..
chopper (2009-12-23 19:22:21)
chop chop chop
Peter Singer (2009-12-23 19:19:16)
I dont see what is wrong with this, the kittens are too young to be self conscious and this would kill them painlessly.
Michael Jackson (2009-12-23 18:41:20)
Tee hee, oww!!! That's ignorant!
schnoodle (2009-12-23 18:20:53)
I love this site. I just wish it were updated more often. It makes me laugh every time.
yeah yeah (2009-12-23 16:37:34)
Yeah sex ads!!! Reply to some where you say you chop people up after having sex them. I would bust ten nuts to that. Ugh ugh ooh
#ff00ffadmin (2009-12-23 16:28:11)
Yes! Sex ads! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! And update more often too.
new (2009-12-23 16:24:35)
Mike you should reply to some sex ads. Then I can jerk off and laugh at the same time. That would really be something I would enjoy. Make it happen mike.
pita (2009-12-23 16:19:23)
Peta can suck my furry dick. This is so funny cuz it is like an agaisnt peta.
kittenlover (2009-12-23 16:18:18)
not mulched, of coures.......lmfao
LOL (2009-12-23 16:14:00)
mike you aer a genious. Funny
LOL (2009-12-23 16:13:46)
mike you aer a genious. Funny
peta (2009-12-23 16:08:59)
epic win.
Barack Obama (2009-12-23 15:59:10)
I am gay. That is all.
Ho-Chi Mon Li (2009-12-23 15:50:30)
You no choppy kitty. you bring by shop early in morning. nobody follow you! i give you twenty dollars for all!
Holy shit (2009-12-23 15:49:45)
Omg I just read this and wow that is fucking mean how could you think of that dam its so creul. Ur a monster, i hate this whole site! I hpe u get fed thru a wood chipper that what u deserve
Ivona (2009-12-23 15:49:06)
I sure hope this guy Mike is made up, or at least his post is made up. Otherwise, he's one sick person who should be reported to the police.
Can't breathe (2009-12-23 15:48:52)
laughing too hard....that was fucking hillarious!
I'm gay (2009-12-23 15:46:07)
...and I made out with the guy that does these emails!! he is kind of a loser...
Will Ferrell (2009-12-23 15:30:17)
Okay. Found this today and read everything. I havent laughed this hard since I watched Elf the first time.
Bada (2009-12-23 14:34:19)
Great one! A whole lot better than the previous few. If I ever meet you, remind me to buy you a beer.
Shay (2009-12-23 14:12:08)
I thought I was gonna burst out some tears I was laughing so hard
Mike's Wife (2009-12-23 14:11:49)
He should have called that Chinese place uptown... would be nice to see fresh meat at lunch again!
Vegan Lady (2009-12-23 13:55:46)
This confirms you are not a Vegan.
CJz (2009-12-23 13:50:50)
Awesome as always. Don't ever stop!!!
Peanut (2009-12-23 13:44:27)
Don't you have a hammer?
shonte's massah (2009-12-23 13:41:32)
Has anyone seen shonte? He wasn't in his bunk this morning and I fear the worst...that he's shuckin & jivin on the underground railway, making his way to a computer in the ghetto to tap out a message here.
andromeda (2009-12-23 13:40:58)
"...(not mulched, of course)..." Of course :rolleyes: hehe... sick as always :D
Caitlin (2009-12-23 13:21:46)
These make my work day bearable. Keep Writing!
anon (2009-12-23 13:21:11)
hahahahaha yes! well done! every once in a while a great one comes along
Damn GOOD! (2009-12-23 13:16:33)
need i say more keep it up!!!
Joe *********. (2009-12-23 13:03:30)
250 and a kitten? Done deal. Pick up the Wood Chipper by 3pm.
Igor. (2009-12-23 13:02:08)
Great. There are better ones, but this one is good. Keep it up.
Han Yang (2009-12-23 12:57:44)
No chop kitties. I take all.
yus (2009-12-23 12:52:05)
love it!
Ravelock (2009-12-23 12:49:17)
The past 2-3 posts have been instant classics, so it's ok that this one seems to have been mailed in.
Chip (2009-12-23 12:44:38)
heyo
St. Nick (2009-12-23 12:28:13)
Hilarious, thanks for making this holiday season brighter for everyone!
bob (2009-12-23 12:19:58)
FIRST!!
HEAD (2009-12-23 12:11:48)
Man that is too funny, dude you gotta keep them going. "so I think a wood chipper would be the next most humane way." Freaking sweet!
Tiger-UPPERCUT (2009-12-23 12:09:21)
I like the tiger story better. But this is still good.
trilauhal (2009-12-23 12:08:46)
Can't get enough of this stuff.
Pilgrim (2009-12-23 12:07:51)
This guy is a parasite. He's a mind-rapist.
Dear SHAYZ (2009-12-23 12:05:58)
your a cunthole
black pussy cat (2009-12-23 12:04:20)
hahaha easy $200
Purple Floyd (2009-12-23 12:03:29)
God, these E-mails crack me up--Loved the last part!
Gorbage (2009-12-23 11:55:48)
This guy is great, but A Canadian named Bruce West used to do this vie correspondence, before the internet. His book is a treasure.
eh (2009-12-23 11:55:31)
not so funny? sorry.
harhar (2009-12-23 11:53:18)
nice~!
kefera (2009-12-23 11:50:55)
brilliant! hahaha
SHAYZ (2009-12-23 11:48:50)
I mean... LoLZ!
SHAYZ (2009-12-23 11:48:32)
DAMMIT!
SHAYZ (2009-12-23 11:47:55)
1st!!
ispyit (2009-12-23 11:47:41)
hahaha, my hands are clean !! Class

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