E-mails from an Asshole

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E - m a i l s f r o m a n a s s h o l e

Football Sunday

Posted at: 2010-10-18 12:18:46

Original ad:
New church in need of an LCD projector for our Sunday services. We do not have tax exempt status but the donation should be out of the goodness of your heart.

From me to *********@*********.org:

Hey there! Are you still looking for a projector?

Mike

From Maria ******** to Me:

Yes.

From Me to Maria ********:

Well Maria, get ready to completely change the way your churchgoers go to church! What I am offering is a Multimedia Home Theater Projector system by JVC. It projects a beautiful 1920 x 1080 high-definition picture that will show the big game as if it was projected by the eyes of the lord. You can project on a screen as big as 16 feet, which comes in handy for those old folks in the back of the church that are still trying to watch the game. Powered by a 200W UHP lamp, it will be like the image was projected by the blinding light of salvation. Comes with HDMI inputs so you can hook it right up to a hi-def box!

Personally, I think it is about goddamn time you guys started showing the game during mass. I can't tell you how many Eagles games I missed as a kid when my parents made me go to church.

Let me know if you are interested in this badass projector, or if you want to hear any more specs.

Mike

From Maria ******** to Me:

The projector is not for football. We need to project our morning worship service to our silent room for people with infants.

Are you donating this projector?

From Me to Maria ********:

No, this isn't exactly a donation. Who are you kidding, though? You guys don't even have tax exempt status. Why would anyone donate?

Don't worry. I have come up with a plan that will have this projector in your church in no time. I am asking for $2500 for the projector. This should be very easy to pay off if you use the collection money for mass this Sunday. I have to imagine you guys pull in at least that much each service. When people find out you will be showing the games, I bet you will draw in an even larger audience, and more donations. This projector will practically pay for itself almost immediately.

From all the money you will be raking in, I believe it can help turn your church into something awesome. I am also offering a 1000 watt surround sound system that you can install in the church. Every play will be heard in deafening sound as if it was told from the lord. Your churchgoers will feel like they are actually at the game!

If that isn't enough, you can use the new found collection money to replace all of your benches with leather recliners. The possibilities are endless. We can even install some kegs at the front of the church.

Thou shall not pass up on this HD projector and sound system!

Mike

From Maria ******** to Me:

Shame on you for expecting me to abuse the church collections. Mass is a time to celebrate the divine sacrifice, not football. The thought of abusing the collections for such a purpose is disgusting and downright offensive. We will not be needing a projector from you, thank you.

From Me to Maria ********:

I wouldn't consider it "abusing" the collections. I would consider it a small investment to boost donations in the long run. You will get a shitload more donations if people knew it was going for a good cause, like a HD projector and recliners for the games on Sunday. I would much rather donate for that instead of having my donation money used in an out-of-court settlement for a child molestation lawsuit.

From Maria ******** to Me:

How dare you! You've got some nerve. This conversation is over.

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Wow (2013-12-02 03:59:22)
What a fucking bitch, just because you're a church you should get everything for free? fuck off church.

CTrain (2013-10-27 06:06:47)
@God Who are you praying to? Zeus?

God (2013-09-17 16:11:17)
Personally, I agree. Even I get bored at church. Church is one of those places where the ability to be everywhere at once comes in handy. I can pray for people and pray for a touchdown at the same time!

AOK (2013-07-16 17:22:09)
all the idiots trying to defend the church on this one are totally enslaved by the retarded religion they choose to follow. It was more than fair for him to say he would rather donate to a good cause like football in church rather than it going to keepin

Maria (2013-06-16 22:14:18)
And you were so close to getting a nun to swear, too. Next time maybe.

badabailey (2013-06-06 01:39:10)
This is awesome, not a failed trolling attempt. come on, "blinding light of salvation", hilarious even to extremely religious person like myself

anonymous (2013-05-24 19:41:30)
I generally love your work, but the people who are saying that this is brilliant are drones. I'm sorry man, but this was a fail at trolling. She replied very little and barely acknowledged your attempts in trying to get to her. :[

Lolz. (2013-05-15 13:24:23)
*trolling. (:

Lolz. (2013-05-15 13:22:48)
Hilarious. Even as a regular churchgoer. Our church projects the Bears game on Sundays after service; there's nothing in the Bible saying "Thou shalt not watch football!" The sense of entitlement in this person's ad is just begging for tro

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Anon (2013-03-12 00:02:12)
Im glad he trolled this post. "The donation should be out of the goodness of your heart.". I hate when churches and pastors try to guilt trip people into shit like this. Like their entitled for free shit from hard working people.

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jesus (2013-02-13 13:29:11)
lmao that was brilliant! like most of the other posts, keep it up

Anon (2013-01-19 03:48:07)
Most of these are really funny but I don't think you should troll churches and the like...

Slarti (2013-01-11 02:56:23)
Colon Fish, dear lord, why u still mekin us pay for ur pleasure?

A BiPolar Guy (2012-12-24 22:00:22)
I'm actually gay

Wibunusyscusa (2012-12-19 04:58:23)
At the point:)

theA (2012-12-12 20:40:05)
Churchies are just so gullable

Avi Goldberg (2012-12-02 12:30:47)
Catholics and their love of pedophilia... haha! p.s. Still those TV Evangelicals have got to be the worst of the bunch.

Wibunusyscusa (2012-11-29 13:14:21)
Very funny post...

Frythedeliveryguy (2012-10-23 15:28:36)
You had me at "I think it is about goddamn time". I bet she already started to poop her sunday best reading that.

Logan Bob (2012-10-18 15:33:24)
Black People

Kellen (2012-09-18 20:51:22)
Dhhd

Z (2012-09-14 13:16:02)
Yes, a church would NEVER abuse collections..lmao

J@M3$ (2012-09-07 01:12:06)
THOU SHAL NOT PASS ! BRILLIANT !!!

Sam (2012-09-05 00:26:31)
Funny.............

Al (2012-08-28 11:40:11)
Child molestation law suit lmfao

GOD (2012-08-28 01:12:55)
Out of court settlements, HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA

anonymous (2012-08-17 17:34:00)
Don't listen to pastor collin. Seriously if you look through all his posts on this site it becomes pretty obvious that he is just an atheist troll.

@Pastor Collin (2012-08-13 09:07:02)
Technichally, you Protestants are the heretics.

@Pastor Collin (2012-07-28 11:16:50)
I have been at your comments and have deduced that you are just an atheist troll. Knock it off you make us other atheists look bad.

Pastor Collin (2012-07-28 11:15:26)
Hah those fucking Catholics. When will they learn that they are fucking heretics and turn to the truth of Protestantism. At least everyone in my congregation is with God :D

heelarious (2012-07-25 00:53:19)
thou shall not pass up this deal!

@b (2012-07-19 18:07:26)
FAQ said he only gets followup responses from a fraction of the ads he writes to; even then he only posts the best ones. Who knows.

@b (2012-06-29 00:21:08)
FAQ said he only gets followup responses from a fraction of the ads he writes to; even then he only posts the best ones. Who knows.

b (2012-06-26 05:01:12)
I call bullshit on all of this posts. They're the funniest things I ever read but they all end the same way. Not everyone is an asshole and not everyone is so polite. Funny stuff though

Guilherme (2012-06-15 20:07:36)
"this conversation is over" i dont even get how it started

etchepare (2012-06-15 05:09:49)
hahahahahahahahahahahahahha in an out-of-court settlement for a child molestation lawsuit. hahahahahahahahahahahahahaah

Morнs (2012-06-14 19:08:46)
I actually think you're right for the first time. Anyway, I love the trolling

A BiPolar Guy (2012-06-10 19:45:47)
I call shenanigans. It's extremely unlikely that a chuch would use the term mass unless a part on one of the few existing groups which use it, all having tax exempt status as long as there has been such a thing.

good comeback (2012-05-25 07:53:08)
what a stupid bitch

lola307 (2012-04-30 18:28:40)
'Thou shall not pass up on this HD projector and sound system!' Hahaha!!!

erin (2012-04-25 20:26:08)
I this erin and how dose this work

Cameron (2012-04-23 08:00:49)
Its 4:57 am I am at School everyone one in here is working it's quite and WTF do i Do I read "I would much rather donate for that instead of having my donation money used in an out-of-court settlement for a child molestation lawsuit. " I LOL M

Sk8eycat (2012-04-10 16:11:35)
Hmmmm... Large-screen football in church. Sounds like the "Fosterite" services in Heinlein's STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND. Come to think of it, the main character in that book is named "Mike." Tee-hee! LOVE it!

Tamara (2012-04-07 03:37:58)
cool!

BH (2012-04-05 22:27:40)
I'm a devout Catholic and I cannot get enough of this guy, even this email had me rolling.

Divawn (2012-03-28 03:46:49)
I lost it at: "Personally, I think it is about goddamn time you guys started showing the game during mass."

(another) Mike (2012-03-20 06:14:53)
You had me in stitches at: "I have to imagine you guys pull in at least that much each service." PULL IN...as if it's a scam, or run by shysters.

HG131 (2012-03-11 15:09:20)
I broke out in applause at the end.

@Jkimm3 (2012-01-21 20:14:31)
The name's not Mike though. Check the amazon page selling the book.

Indig (2012-01-03 10:28:36)
RE: GS, "How else are they supposed to pay bills and keep the church open" Maybe it'd be better if they didn't.

Jkimm3 (2011-12-26 13:26:45)
My son brought me the book for Christmas ande introduced me to the site.really some funny shit,this guy Mike is brilliant.

sky (2011-12-03 12:44:15)
Every play will be heard in deafening sound as if it was told from the lord. Ha so good

brian (2011-12-03 11:11:03)
EPIC

Steve (2011-11-30 03:04:52)
I think this guy's onto something.

Tony (2011-11-29 08:59:41)
Stupid funny. Stomach hurts

classic (2011-11-28 07:12:16)
"I would much rather donate for that instead of having my donation money used in an out-of-court settlement for a child molestation lawsuit." lol

unoman (2011-11-24 12:05:17)
Organized religion is a scam. This email was awesome tho I have the shit's and I almost drowned draw's when I got to the end of this email.

anonymous (2011-10-21 03:10:32)
"I would much rather donate for that instead of having my donation money used in an out-of-court settlement for a child molestation lawsuit. " +1

God (2011-10-10 02:14:16)
I thought this was pretty funny

Kenny D (2011-10-04 20:51:17)
Oh my god i lost it at" you will get a shitload more donations" sweet jesus why isnt this site more popular than youtube??

A.D. Banner (2011-09-10 21:20:24)
I LOLed when I got a horribly inappropriate, or perhaps *perfectly* appropriate ad on this page: "FREE Fundraising kit for church groups". That could not have been any better if planned. Nice to have advertisers which appreciate the humor!

Thurston (2011-08-26 17:25:44)
Humor is one of God's creations too. Embrace it.

Milo (2011-08-24 20:15:09)
LOL

Jasmine (2011-08-08 02:50:56)
Oh dear God, just when I thought it couldn't get any better, you pull out the ol' child molestation. LOL

j rock (2011-07-30 15:17:29)
I would go to church more if they had the game on......

Nickel SLick (2011-07-25 03:35:59)
Classic Dude

Kurt Ketamean (2011-07-24 01:42:04)
"Thou shall not pass up on this HD projector and sound system!" This story and site are fucking priceless. I just got introduced today, I am a fan.

Pir Of all Pirs (2011-07-22 03:10:48)
I would much rather donate for that instead of having my donation money used in an out-of-court settlement for a child molestation lawsuit. EPIC BURN!

Guy (2011-07-19 23:41:59)
"I would much rather donate for that instead of having my donation money used in an out-of-court settlement for a child molestation lawsuit. " LOL

Dee (2011-07-19 11:13:05)
As someone else stated, the joke was funny but your comments are crass. I'm sure his point wasn't to target religion, but to have a little fun...obviously that is not the intent of the commenters. How sad you are.

Lilly (2011-07-02 18:19:36)
hilarious,"we can even install some kegs at the front of the church"....funny stuff.

PP (2011-07-02 17:01:27)
Funny shit man. Everyone who thinks it's too far must have a very dry sense of humor because this is hilarious. Who cares if they are church employees? They're people too. And they deserve to get messed with every once in a while just like the res

GS (2011-07-02 01:04:04)
How else are they supposed to pay bills and keep the church open?

GS (2011-07-02 01:03:04)
"Phil" how are churches "scamming people?" if you're talking about the money and donations the church asks for that's not " scamming people." it's not like churches are state funded or government funded or anything else

hey seuss (2011-06-29 14:25:17)
Get over it. God has a sense of humor.

Thomas O'Mallay (2011-06-29 06:18:49)
hahahaha this one was awesome lol... thanks man for making me laugh, the best gift. peace and good health!

anonymous (2011-06-19 18:18:26)
I'm a christian, but this is still funny

tim (2011-06-17 15:11:34)
This is funny. So is organized religion and all of it's followers.

Paul (2011-06-17 07:15:37)
This is hilarious. I honestly think the comments by people complaining about this joke at the churches expense are even funnier than the gag itself. You people are idiots if you seriously think that religion is beyond ridicule or reproach. Get over it.

vdollynn (2011-06-16 13:59:32)
Stick with random people

Persereikд (2011-06-11 14:16:59)
"The low caliber of European intelect is on display again." You mean "American speling", right?

Vessapaperimuumio (2011-06-11 14:13:50)
Why leave churches alone and bother random people? Church employees are random people after all. They're humans, they should have a sense of humor, and its not anyone else's fault if they don't.

Jimbo (2011-06-10 02:03:16)
It's funny (or not?) how being religious appears to exclude the possibility of objectivity on the subject. Brainwashing from an early age shows in the comments..the church claims moral superiority/immunity...and lots of people believe it. Funny and

Jace (2011-06-09 22:35:53)
Where in the bible does it mention the Internet? Do you claim Jesus invented that too? Have you ever read the bible? Jesus was never resurrected, just "enlightened.". The christians deserve it for being idiots, even about their own fairy tales

Mark Treebur (2011-06-09 14:55:29)
Ray, Jesus wasn't raised from the dead. Jesus never died, he just pretended to die so that the devil would stop bothering him. The bible says after that he was enlightened (1 Tim 2:14). Also I am Jason/ Ray/Mark. All one loser who talks to himself.

Ray Milko (2011-06-09 14:53:49)
Dude yeah the churches didn't do anything to you. I believe that jesus Krist was raised from the dead, and in the bible it says that the internet isn't a place for sin. Jesus was the first person to crucify, and he still lives among us. Don'

David (2011-06-09 07:17:24)
Random people are funny but just leave the churches alone

anonymous (2011-06-07 14:08:58)
Thou shall not pass up on this HD projector and sound system! lmfao!

Jason Farsy (2011-06-05 17:43:07)
I dislike both football and church, but I'd much rather be in a recliner watching mindless television than sit through the same thing every week, people making you feel guilty about everything you do

anon (2011-06-04 08:38:06)
This isn't funny...it's just too far..

stratoblaster47 (2011-05-25 22:33:40)
"Thou shall not pass up on this ..." oh, stop! I completely lost my Diet Pepsi Lime on that one.

anonymous (2011-05-25 20:26:44)
I lol until I can't breathe at all the posts on this site, but this one was pretty lame. It was just plain disrespectful, and there was no raging reaction from her.

Slatan (2011-05-21 13:54:18)
Well AJ, you can always forgive them, turn the other cheek etc..

projectors for cheap (2011-05-21 00:21:00)
LOL@all the projector ads in the page

Astos (2011-05-18 13:59:31)
@Church Boy So "molestation" is obviously a catholic thing, eh? That says a lot about religion.

Arthur Kirkland (2011-05-11 07:18:01)
My husband is Christan and he loves football. Perhaps I should take up this offer!

Phil (2011-05-05 17:12:53)
Wow, talk about a bunch bible thumpers...the comments on here are ridiculous. Have you not woken up to the Scam of the church and religions...seriously?!!!

Pete (2011-05-02 17:08:57)
interesting, as a former seminarian I find it hilarious. Long live football, long live the Church as well. Check facts on child molestation; priests should have given a better example, even when theirs is still the best out there...

anonymous (2011-04-29 01:42:44)
test

anonymous (2011-04-27 17:47:23)
ouuuuuuuch this is harsh! hilarious though

ashui (2011-04-26 19:15:28)
The low caliber of European intelect is on display again.........

spamjangled (2011-04-25 21:14:12)
What a great site !!!

Church Boy (2011-04-25 02:21:14)
I love this site and think it is hilarious although this one caused me to question a couple of things... you mention "Mass" and "Molestation". These are obviously "Catholic" things; however No Catholic churches are for profit... ke

Anon (2011-04-20 21:09:02)
OH man....I love your site...but MAN...this is Hardcore....I bet that lady didn't sleep that night.....I'm ashamed to laugh at this....

1325 (2011-04-19 01:54:31)
Daaaamm you burned her at the end there with that child molestation donation thing, very good one!!!!

Buddy friend (2011-04-18 03:59:13)
No tax exempt status means they've applied for it and failed it. Scary when you think about it.

Not a fan (2011-04-14 10:52:51)
Football is clearly overrated. But the church is worse. He's even contradicting. Football is rarely contradicting.

Matt (2011-04-07 16:22:53)
@Charles "I think it's dumb how everyone goes insane over the football games. It's not like your going to die if you miss 1 or 2 of them" You are obviously a Bengals/Browns fan lol

jumanji (2011-04-06 13:49:43)
fucking hilarious ! go birds !

Charles (2011-04-05 03:18:33)
Not every church passes around a bowl for you to put money into. Some people don't expect to get paid for preaching. I think it's dumb how everyone goes insane over the football games. It's not like your going to die if you miss 1 or 2 of them

Cathy (2011-04-04 12:30:25)
Now everyone knows why I don't go to church anymore!It's always the same boring blah,blah and blah.A beer, the game and some Host wafers(bring your own seasoning!)would make a nice Sunday!Oh, don't talk to Church people. They're quite nast

bethany (2011-04-02 05:13:50)
First, I thought this was hilarious. Second, let me explain: Church $ goes to minister salaries. Then it pays building bills. Then, depending on what denomination, it goes to missions or nursing homes or Darfur or whatever. It isn't them being greedy

Mark Halfmoon (2011-03-30 17:40:06)
I'm not a Christian or even religious, but I agree with AJ.

Erica (2011-03-28 11:50:32)
They wanted a projector for free? Pssh. Why should they get a free projector just because they tell fairy tales.

anonymous (2011-03-27 22:07:16)
Hahaha I love this one! "Shame on you for expecting me to abuse the church collections." lol what greedy bastards. Do they want everything donated to them? Fucking child molesters, they will all go to hell! Hahaha

sadasd (2011-03-24 08:44:55)
this one is kinda lame. it would be hard to find an easier target to troll

Anonymous (2011-03-23 05:53:38)
Well played sir.

lol (2011-03-23 03:58:30)
this guy is probably going to hell

nice (2011-03-22 12:31:53)
Great. Just freaking great!

Megan (2011-03-16 02:57:21)
This was the best in a long time!! Thou shall not pass up on this hd projector and sound system! Too funny!

deitrik (2011-03-12 19:20:01)
"Thou shall not pass up on this HD projector and sound system" hahaha encore!

anonymous (2011-03-11 17:00:23)
Absolutely brilliant in every respect!

Meh (2011-03-09 11:19:31)
crazy shit lol this made class fun as hell!

Bob Fairlane (2011-03-09 09:07:30)
Why do people go to church on Sunday mornings anyway? What a waste! I sleep in, eat bacon, and go bicycling. Rest and relaxation in natural surroundings is much better than sitting in a stuffy box practicing a gay religion that makes everyone out to be ev

priestlover22 (2011-03-08 03:04:38)
I dont see any issues with this at all. I loved the priest molester joke the best. I went to Catholic school for so long, and I just dont understand why I was never picked by our priest for his annual altar boy sleepovers in the church. I still get pretty

BeatSumCheeks (2011-03-04 18:05:08)
This is so fuckn awesome, Ive been a long time fan of your site, keep up the good work and keep them laughs funny, the less censorship the better. shit look at dave chappelle, he made a skit about a black white-supremacist and that shit was hilarious

AJ (2011-03-02 09:02:16)
I am a Christian, and I found this funny. What isn't funny are the religion bashers in the comments

SnoopyChicken (2011-02-26 00:37:28)
I love the fact that the religious people are Ok with all the sexist/racist/midget jokes used on this site but the second god is mentioned theyre all angry, hypocritical much?

Comment (2011-02-25 20:34:39)
Evil inside them speaking? Really? Really? Good website! :D Re: A (2011-01-22 16:38:51) I thought the site was funny, but Religion bashing is pretty low. The horrible comments on here are not people speaking, it is the evil inside of them speaking.

John (2011-02-24 19:56:17)
A (2011-01-22 16:38:51) I thought the site was funny, but Religion bashing is pretty low. The horrible comments on here are not people speaking, it is the evil inside of them speaking. Just to be clear, it's not the religion itself that they are b

John (2011-02-24 19:50:44)
To be honest, the comments SHOULD be just as inappropriate as the humor is. And whoever thinks that the molestation jokes have been done to death clearly doesn't appreciate good humor and social criticism.

Joel (2011-02-22 21:27:55)
"I would much rather donate for that instead of having my donation money used in an out-of-court settlement for a child molestation lawsuit." I'm dying squirtle

WTFFF TO LOL (2011-02-21 15:19:13)
DNT GT DIS SYT @ ALLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wolfie (2011-02-21 01:41:48)
"the donation should be made out of the goodness of your heart" "should"? since when did free-loading ever become a right lol, especially for a freaking projector! it's not like it's even anything near a necessity! bahaha th

mikept (2011-02-18 04:51:21)
"Thou shall not pass up on this HD projector and sound system!" ahahahahah where does he come up with this shit

trbst11 (2011-02-15 22:18:03)
hey rick, you spelled here wrong? You need a profyle system.

Rick Astley (2011-02-12 14:07:00)
This website realy needs a profyle system and a moderator. Is anyone hear not a extremist or a troll with poor spelling?

Humor! (2011-02-11 00:01:11)
Forget the arguments about religion, or lack of,and just appreciate the comic technique. It's fairly benign until he completely shocks you with the molestation comment. Beautiful!

Curtis (2011-02-10 02:14:55)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA wow I hate football but even I would rather watch a five hour football game than listen to a one hour boring church sermon.

anonymous (2011-02-06 22:02:51)
Good but could have done without the molestation joke, not that I find it offensive just that its been done to death already.

GOD (2011-02-06 16:13:58)
Maria, Thou Shalt not pass up this Projector and Sound System

awesome (2011-02-06 16:12:41)
i mean what else are you going to show in church besides football?

wow (2011-02-06 15:27:07)
this one was actually pretty rude

Solo (2011-01-31 05:03:45)
This is funny but u people need to relax a bit

gabrek (2011-01-29 09:46:52)
Ah, religous folk- blinded by the light of their own fear of death, they cannot see their own flaws; only the cracks in the lens.

dumb cunt maria (2011-01-27 04:11:24)
she is just pissed because she wasnt born a boy so she couldnt get molested by her pastor

Mary (2011-01-26 09:57:27)
Hey you religious guys tortured, killed, jailed, and persecuted us atheists and agnostics for thousands of years. This is just payback and all we are doing is just making fun of you guys. Thats nothing compared to what you did to us for thousands of years

anonymous (2011-01-25 00:11:27)
Haha this was really funny, just please people don't bash my religion I respect that you don't belive what I do. Please give me the same respect

Antonio (2011-01-24 09:03:29)
I am an atheist and I fucking loved this like crazy :D He was probably right about the child molestation thing lmfao :D

A (2011-01-22 16:38:51)
I thought the site was funny, but Religion bashing is pretty low. The horrible comments on here are not people speaking, it is the evil inside of them speaking.

anonymous (2011-01-15 18:30:25)
2 FUNNY X

smh (2011-01-13 01:39:03)
@juan.... you are a faggoty midgeted assbrained little shit head full of cum and fermented jizz.

Semen (2011-01-11 21:04:03)
i just came on god's face.

shawn (2011-01-09 17:03:37)
fckn EPIC

dude 420 (2011-01-08 19:47:58)
I fuckin hate religious pple. That was the shit!

McNigger (2011-01-06 23:57:51)
ha.

juan (2011-01-06 20:50:36)
athest lol no chrhisthain god haha lord must "suck". why no pplopl beleve god in cloud lol

cum_to_daddy (2011-01-06 10:15:46)
LOL Eagles are holier than Jesus Christ...

cum_to_daddy (2011-01-06 10:15:45)
LOL Eagles are holier than Jesus Christ...

DZ (2011-01-04 18:26:30)
"...it will be like the image was projected by the blinding light of salvation" ...Oh that was beautiful! Thanks for making us laugh unreservedly :)

Not dr.apoon (2011-01-03 15:39:57)
"Thou shall not pass up on this HD projector and sound system!" -- LOL

Dhi (2011-01-03 05:26:44)
She should have guessed someone's messing with her with the words like 'goddamn' and 'badass' in the first reply itself. But obviously, religious people rely on God for intelligence! :)

Desean Jackson (2011-01-03 00:00:30)
Eagles , good shit my man

George (2010-12-30 07:23:35)
Hell yea I fucking love this. He totally owned maria with the child molestation thing :D

ditchdigger (2010-12-27 17:48:54)
that was great the whole way through, i can't believe she didn't see the big picture in the long run. child molestation was the perfect ending that i'm sure sent her over the edge.

Hey (2010-12-27 12:43:14)
@ Y O g: Is English your third or fourth language? It is admirable of you to attempt to post on a public forum in your newly learned tongue to help get the hang of it, but perhaps you should take a few more lessons before you attempt this. This way, peopl

Kdawg (2010-12-25 22:54:48)
HA! the last sentence is great. she had nothin!

Sixtyman (2010-12-19 18:13:44)
OMG That is EPIC!

Jesus (2010-12-18 01:01:03)
That was funny.... Wait, did I say that out loud?

Sas (2010-12-15 19:08:51)
You burn in hell! :'D

alex (2010-12-14 19:32:56)
@ y o g... god obviously didn't bless you with intellegence since you have the writting skills of a 5 year old...

billy (2010-12-09 13:24:11)
projected by the eyes of the lord, by the blinding light of salvation, and told by the lord ahah so funny man

emellymel (2010-12-07 01:54:24)
Hilarious. Of course, offended xtians always make me laugh, but this one really hit me in the funny bone.

Alex (2010-12-06 20:39:09)
@ Y o g Why do people think atheists are depressed and suicidal.

Frank (2010-12-03 17:33:01)
@Y o g: WTF?

Y O g (2010-12-03 11:14:46)
EVEn if u don't believe is girl from heavens, at least show some respect. your mad at god because your life is utter shit and u are depressed and suicidal, which is what cause atheist. but it is all his plan for u, believe it! god bless!!!!!!!!!!

Amy (2010-12-02 22:42:37)
Eww what's that smell?

Corky (2010-12-02 21:07:50)
Don't Fart Kevin

Kevin (2010-12-02 20:50:00)
I just Farted

Mick (2010-12-02 20:28:50)
Don't fart Kevin.

Kevin (2010-12-02 20:25:46)
I just farted

Fried (2010-12-02 19:52:34)
God is dead.

Anon Ymous (2010-12-02 13:11:48)
Child molestation?! You son of a- nevermind. Hilarious in all cases, evil mastermind indeed!

Neil (2010-12-01 23:07:52)
Another one to post to Facebook!

dr.apoon (2010-11-27 16:25:29)
Lol bad ass. FUK that my church will want it!

JS (2010-11-23 14:41:45)
"goddamn time" Perfect

Burtango (2010-11-19 23:45:03)
Shit was funny, you're probably going to hell, but so am I, shit's gonna be awesome, we can hang out in a pit of agony or something.

randy marsh (2010-11-15 01:16:55)
lmao it was all funny but i bursted out laughing at the child molestation part

Zeus (2010-11-13 02:18:38)
@Eric-that actually makes it more funny.

chef torte (2010-11-11 13:59:03)
@Eric - no one said it was a catholic church, you fucktard. it's probably some shitty pentecostal shack.

J from netherlands (2010-11-10 08:34:42)
Even across the world we're loving this !! To hell with intolerant believers without humor!! Grtz from Netherlands.

honey (2010-11-09 00:07:32)
i agree with CL2

Matthew (2010-11-08 18:39:39)
Yeah, a little over the line on that last part. Very funny post though.

CL2 (2010-11-06 13:41:43)
YES! Fuck with the church! Wow, awesome!

fever (2010-11-06 02:22:53)
this made my day: "almost all religious people in the world believe in God"

hairy nut sack (2010-11-05 19:06:00)
this site is the best and the shit keeps getting funnier and funnier lawl

Mar (2010-11-05 14:54:50)
"It projects a beautiful 1920 x 1080 high-definition picture that will show the big game as if it was projected by the eyes of the lord." AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! this sentence did it for me.. I'm crying I'm laughing so hard... nice work. ;-)

CS (2010-11-03 12:32:17)
To anyone offended by this, real or not... you are on a site called emails from an asshole... pretty self explanatory. Its all fun and games when hes making fun of disabilities, gender, race or stupidity... but fuck with a church... ut oh. How ignorant- t

LOL (2010-11-03 08:39:29)
This is actually very very funny, though I respect that her replies were polite. the religious folks who commented are ironically funny for being offended by this . LOL But religious have rights, right to get fooled by priests and right to believe

TimR (2010-11-01 18:56:58)
All the bible thumpers can beat it.. dont like it click the mouse morons. self serving morons.

Eric (2010-11-01 18:23:11)
This is a shitty set of emails. Did you really think it would be funny to post this shit when almost all religious people in the world believe in God?

Mark (2010-11-01 09:03:58)
This one was not that funny until the last sentence mike wrote......... I fell over when i saw that line.

Sharron (2010-10-29 07:07:53)
May god bless you all!

Anya (2010-10-28 13:34:27)
Holy shit- that ending... snap!! snap, crackle and pop in fact.

Erik (2010-10-28 13:09:30)
No where does it say that it is a catholic church...

elhaym (2010-10-28 10:19:22)
Fake as shit. Catholic churches would all have tax exempt status, even new ones. The emails from Maria seem incredibly inauthentic. Try harder next time.

penisbutt (2010-10-27 20:30:59)
Beautiful.

DrNeko (2010-10-27 12:10:01)
Loved it! Keep them coming!

Miep (2010-10-27 00:31:58)
Dude, I think you understand churches a lot better than Maria does.

Sterling Archer (2010-10-26 13:25:59)
That was a seriously cheap shot at the end and i cant stop fucking laughing from it.

Sunflowerling (2010-10-26 13:15:38)
LOVE IT

anonymous (2010-10-25 18:33:27)
Your best ever! A fucking genius you are!! "This projector will practically pay for itself almost immediately." - gold!

c-sense (2010-10-25 17:34:07)
hilarious

c-sense (2010-10-25 17:33:48)
Hey retards, these posts are put up for your amusement for FREE. He doesn't owe you one a week, a month, or ever again. And they're gonna be as funny as they are and that's it, you do better if you're displeased. Btw, this one is goddamn

I.<3.2.4NK8 (2010-10-25 17:08:30)
SOO funny.

Mike H. (2010-10-25 14:39:53)
Ranger1 sucks.

Ranger1 (2010-10-25 12:00:19)
Out of the goodness of your heart? How about you give me a blowjob and God will in turn take care of you. lol fucking Democrats- always want free shit

Mark Goldberg (2010-10-25 11:06:08)
WWJD?

Allen (2010-10-25 08:13:42)
(cont.) "Like them better." You tell an adulterous, abusive man that he's got a better chance of making it to Heaven if he gives you free shit, and you'll get a shit load of shit! And it's all BULLSHIT! (P.S. I'm not atheist, I j

Allen (2010-10-25 08:11:53)
Man, this pisses me off at the church more than anything! "Abusing the collection" What the fuck else do they use it for other than to pay for shit? It's just an excuse to ask for FREE SHIT from people just because God will supposedly "li

Chili (2010-10-25 05:49:23)
Continued: ...easily controlled as you are. According to my girl, I'm the Lord Almighty. She shouts "Oh my god!" when I fuck her.

Chili (2010-10-25 05:47:49)
@Amy Yes it is FUNNY because religious snobs like you get offended. They don't teach you how to spell in church, I see. Just because you easily got brainwashed into a belief instead of making your own doesn't mean everyone is that easily controll

Cortes (2010-10-25 00:02:50)
@anonymous (2010-10-22 04:21:04 Just because you've been conditioned from age 13 to be some sort of vague atheist in order to appear edgy doesn't mean I should respect your delusion.

Bob (2010-10-24 23:09:12)
God save our education system. She can't even spell funny. Praying at night instead of reading literature doesn't make you smarter. God doesn't answer those prayers... who am I kidding, God doesn't answer anybody's prayers.

Amy (2010-10-24 20:34:43)
This isnt funnie. Its horible what you say about church!! God save this man

marf (2010-10-24 18:43:40)
Haha so hilarious and so true!

George (2010-10-24 17:50:01)
I'm a Christian and I thought this was blood hilarious. All you up-tight readers need to lighten up a bit, it's all in good harmless humor.

atheist (2010-10-24 10:37:01)
shit, i might go to church if they showed football on a projector with a kick ass surround sound system and leather recliners.

Satan (2010-10-24 10:19:18)
Haha! Yes, good work my child! I shall stroke my two dicks to this email later tonight!

Rivirland (2010-10-24 09:00:15)
Epic :"D

dan (2010-10-23 18:28:23)
all your crap is sooo funny. love it!

Ria (2010-10-23 11:38:31)
Seriously, she deserved it! "You should donate out of the goodness of your heart." Just because it's for a church she thinks she's entitled to it. What a snob.

iving (2010-10-23 11:11:26)
holy smokes ! too funny

Blasphemy.... (2010-10-23 10:13:22)
...and I LOVE it!

Pedro (2010-10-22 18:05:51)
"Thou shall not pass up on this HD projector and sound system!" EPIC!

Blah (2010-10-22 17:41:14)
This lady deserved it church's have been taking advantages of people since the beginning of time keeping peasants away from reading so they could control them with their "Religion". Having people give donations and making a killing off it to

douche (2010-10-22 14:29:07)
Shit! you are back man!!!!JAJAJAJAJA

LMBAO (2010-10-22 10:13:24)
Yes, this is what I've been missing. Thou shall not pass up on this HD projector and sound system! lmao. another classic. Now go forth and harass more of thy brothern

Squirrell (2010-10-22 09:59:23)
And yes I realize you do take donations but I'll bet the complainers have never donated.

Squirrell (2010-10-22 09:56:51)
(continued) fall behind. Keep it up Mike. You don't get paid for this and those that complain should realize that.

Squirrell (2010-10-22 09:55:04)
Excellent!. To all of those who are complaining about the time between posts, or the quality of the posts, all I can say is try to do it yourself and see what it's like. I have a blog and between family and other commitments, sometimes the postings

Julio (2010-10-22 06:27:03)
I'm not telling anyone else about this site. I'm afraid some dipshit blog or interwebs news site will give it the mulletsgalore treatment & copycatters will ruin the whole thing. I hope mike's not @ the point of diminishing returns.

anonymous (2010-10-22 04:21:04)
just because you've been conditioned from birth to respect these people's delusions does not mean that doing so is right.

anonymous (2010-10-22 04:20:13)
best one in a while. watching religious types run off with their chins in the air and their hands protecting their reddened bungholes never gets old. you non-religious people defending the religious are part of the problem as well. just because you'

Pastor Terry Jones (2010-10-22 03:07:21)
ya' damn muslims!

anonymous (2010-10-22 00:01:02)
LOOLOLOLOLOL

anonymous (2010-10-21 22:47:08)
This is disgusting

anonymous (2010-10-21 21:14:38)
this was really funny, but post more!! or thou shall be quickly forgotten just like maddox.

anon (2010-10-21 19:45:17)
Fuck religion and fuck people that are offended by this. Awesome!

tlewis95 (2010-10-21 19:13:51)
haha. awesome. i especially love the ones where you fuck with the religious ones. giving an hd projecter to some church would only allow the priest to show the kids his porn collection in HD. not even worth it. haha keep it up!!!

Phrosty (2010-10-21 15:34:27)
Hahaha! That last sentence of your final reply is delicious.

el wey (2010-10-21 15:25:52)
the fact that this post was offensive makes it even more hilarious

Yeahsure (2010-10-21 13:08:58)
Bloodwolf,you're a twat..the reason those kiddy fiddlers got away with it for so long is because people like you would prefer to sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn't happen.Religion is donkey balls and men of the cloth are sexually warped

Doug (2010-10-21 13:04:53)
Bloodwolf = butthurt

Bloodwolf (2010-10-21 12:41:01)
oooh.....dude it was funny.....but that last comment was below the belt....dude if your gonna mess with people thats fine....but this one crossed the line

hi (2010-10-21 11:27:12)
Pickles!

Lucky (2010-10-21 09:10:44)
Holy shit! Tooo funny :)

Barkers87 (2010-10-21 08:49:13)
HAHAHAAAAA I LOVE THIS MAN. I wish you done these more often!!

memee (2010-10-21 08:46:43)
I would much rather donate for that instead of having my donation money used in an out-of-court settlement for a child molestation lawsuit.

niggels (2010-10-21 07:51:38)
Month jokes bout fried chicken

Jew lamp (2010-10-21 06:39:31)
Probably would have been funnier if it was a butcher shop or gas chamber

meh (2010-10-21 05:36:16)
Church people are too easy to fuck with.

anonymous (2010-10-21 04:07:11)
"Thou shall not pass up on this HD projector and sound system!" i laughed so hard

anonymous (2010-10-21 01:08:00)
I, for one, applaud you for keeping the material fresh and unique. You have like 100 posts on this site and every one of them is a different concept. To me, this never gets stale.

chase (2010-10-21 01:02:14)
Seems like he's having a conversation with himself. The older one's were better, you should include more pictures and be more graphic.

Yomega (2010-10-21 00:19:45)
Huh looks like my post was messed up lol But it more so like personally insulting and less like your typical prank antics.

Yomega (2010-10-21 00:17:52)
This seemed less like a funny prank that you typically run and more like a personal troll. I'm atheist but this seemed even for me kind of distasteful. It was so much causing the person to be upset and frustrated from your antics and more like d

Rawr (2010-10-21 00:05:27)
I thought this was done rather distastefully. This attempt will be sort of a benchmark as anything worst than this would be simply not your style.

Chris (2010-10-20 23:46:57)
meh, I think this one jumped the shark. Every other post (for the most part) is brilliant. Once you hit religion and politics it comes off like you're running out of ideas. Id say this one is on the lower end of the bell curve compared to others.

fucker (2010-10-20 23:02:03)
Post more you lazy jack off

MAB (2010-10-20 22:47:48)
This one was completely lame.

anonymous (2010-10-20 21:47:55)
Hmm first one I haven't liked. The style just seems like a different writer. Hope that's not the case. If it's still the same guy then no worries, I'm sure the next one will be back to the form we've come to know and love!

anonymous (2010-10-20 21:15:03)
i wish you would post more, you make a lot of people laugh

Robbie (2010-10-20 20:23:23)
You are our Lord and Savior Mr.Partlow!

Beastman (2010-10-20 19:56:46)
All of you cock smokers need to quit complaining and consider yourselves lucky he even updates at all.

Anddrew (2010-10-20 19:23:37)
Send me my fuckin book I ordered it 1 week ago

chokehold (2010-10-20 19:21:48)
Hahahahahah AMAZING! Love it.

dogma (2010-10-20 19:15:46)
brilliant !!! need more

Eten (2010-10-20 19:01:11)
Must confess this seems like a fraud. The setup (ad) doesn't seem much like a Catholic church, and any Catholic church would have tax-deductible status; yet Mike assumes it is (talks of "mass"), and then they play along? I think he tried to st

FartingUnicorn (2010-10-20 18:40:28)
The people who dislikes this one are butt hurt arrogant Chrstians.

fuktard (2010-10-20 18:18:04)
I agree with "LOLmycatsonfire" this is one of your lamest attempts.......

Sarah (2010-10-20 17:59:14)
I liked the pitch about the projector. Eyes of the lord. Great. Kind of fizzled at the end, though. Post more or go fuck yourself.

anonymous (2010-10-20 17:32:50)
I love this! Way to piss off those self-entitled Christians. :-D I especially like the "child molestation suit" part. Made me LOL.

Mike (2010-10-20 17:21:55)
Ha Ha Ha!!! There's an ad for an HD projector on the side of this page!!!

Steve Drums (2010-10-20 17:02:45)
Hilarious, great build up, awesome punchline. More please!

anono (2010-10-20 16:36:29)
horribly lame. no wonder your getting less and less visits

Brad (2010-10-20 16:15:43)
Please keep making books of this. I will keep buying them

jebusmaster (2010-10-20 16:07:51)
epic punchline is epic

John (2010-10-20 15:27:45)
"I would much rather donate for that instead of having my donation money used in an out-of-court settlement for a child molestation lawsuit. " hahahaha that line made the entire email

Skum (2010-10-20 14:54:06)
I wish you would post more often but this was great. Love that they didn't even have tax exempt status, either. Nice work!

Hmmm (2010-10-20 14:53:49)
I think he is keeping all the good ones for a new book and giving us rations. You can't blame him for wanting to make money out of this.

icadragoon (2010-10-20 14:04:12)
LMAO! This is just great.

fokewe (2010-10-20 13:58:38)
I love it when people just quit..

anonymous (2010-10-20 13:32:35)
"Personally, I think it is about goddamn time you guys started showing the game during mass" - Excellent work

Ratchet (2010-10-20 13:31:04)
Haha, this is one of the best post's I have read so far! Keep messing with the church, they deserve it!

LOLmycatsonfire (2010-10-20 13:18:20)
This was so NOT worth a month of waiting..

easy to please (2010-10-20 13:12:51)
The first time i ever thought you wrote something lame. Your amazing even so! The best part was absolutely the end with the lawsuit comment..

anonymous (2010-10-20 13:01:50)
Wow, what a flaming pile of shit this one was.

So cash? (2010-10-20 12:51:54)
The only thing i dont like about this one is the fagggot who wrote "was so cash" what a fucking loser. Awesome E-mail though!

Yargh (2010-10-20 12:47:21)
5 weeks and you have to pick on a church? Lame.

ian (2010-10-20 12:28:02)
Fuck, this one is great. Good build up and you let it end where it should have. Was laughing aloud on the subway home...

Oh yea naysayers of (2010-10-20 12:11:04)
little faith. This was hilarious. Loved the visual of the recliners instead of benches. LOLLOLLOL!

A (2010-10-20 11:45:21)
Love it > GOD

anonymous (2010-10-20 10:40:17)
Weak....try harder

Brottok (2010-10-20 10:32:07)
I thought it was really good, not the best but still good. Its sad to see other people dont like your creativity and your work behind all "E-Mail". Great site "Mike" Keep it up!

Rufferto (2010-10-20 09:48:42)
Bloody hilarious! How anyone still believes in god and religion in this day and age is beyond me, not to mention plain sad, but this was great. Congratulations, good sir.

Nick (2010-10-20 09:42:25)
Hahaha nice one !!! Praise the Lord for this website ;)

Sidas (2010-10-20 09:35:52)
This is shit. It took 5 weeks to do something like that?

great (2010-10-20 08:43:47)
i hope next months edition is as good as this one...

Greedy religious aho (2010-10-20 08:25:10)
Hey BITCH, how about you give me a free blowjob out of the goodness of your heart? PS:I don't have tax exempt status either.

anonymous (2010-10-20 07:57:13)
dam you offended all these churchgoers

Gary (2010-10-20 07:53:06)
It's funny cos she just wants a free projector but he wants to sell her an epic system and he mentions some other shit. Excellent work!

fully (2010-10-20 07:45:38)
i just discovered this site and its f*cking hilarious dude keep up the good work

dun cann (2010-10-20 07:18:47)
Anyone talking shit is stupid and does not see he did something new. I've never seen "mike" set him self up for such a BAD ASS closing. Omfg I shat laughing

boarf (2010-10-20 04:52:29)
Church officials are not funny to screw with (well, I don't mean that word literally) because they don't need anybody else to look ridiculous.

Josh-Wa (2010-10-20 04:35:52)
Must wipe my eyes of the tears of joy.

ilovetofu (2010-10-20 04:28:33)
AWESOME!

Drazil (2010-10-20 02:47:19)
That was it... that's all? Wow. Picking on church is OK especially since i doubt this was a real one and i got a light chuckle, but damn this was so basic. Takes 5 weeks to troll? I am disappoint.

tom servo (2010-10-20 02:40:31)
Really, this has to be the funniest you have done

anonymous (2010-10-20 02:26:47)
"I would much rather donate for that instead of having my donation money used in an out-of-court settlement for a child molestation lawsuit." Shit was so cash

heathen (2010-10-20 01:53:06)
screw the church this was awesome especially the molestation lawsuit yeah man update more often. If you write it they would come!

Danny (2010-10-20 01:26:33)
As a weekly churchgoer myself I have to say that I am...laughing hysterically. That was some awesome stuff. I about died at the keg suggestion.

... (2010-10-20 01:20:41)
This really wasn't funny at all. I chuckled a little at the religious references, but you're only half of the laugh. The other half is the person's reaction, which was no good here. That's what made the last one so funny.

Teester (2010-10-20 01:15:16)
Way to go dude. Fcking awesome post

First (2010-10-20 01:09:03)
First

jack kimble (2010-10-20 00:50:48)
For those who think she didnt deserve it, understand that if it was a real church that they generally have an exempt status. Craigslist is known for having people asking for donations for a "church", they offer to pick it up, and when they pick i

vahustler (2010-10-20 00:26:56)
terrible, going the church route was in poor taste and not funny...first time i've never had my sides bursting in laughter, you'll get it back though!!

anonymous (2010-10-20 00:18:50)
lol

anonymous (2010-10-19 23:59:55)
Awesome.

. (2010-10-19 23:47:17)
you're a great human being

cookfryafin (2010-10-19 23:35:39)
Update more. Please?

Soporific (2010-10-19 23:26:37)
I was laughing hard (well, sniggering cause im at work) after the first paragraph. Loved it, please keep it up.

A White Black Guy (2010-10-19 22:10:40)
Every play will be heard in deafening sound as if it was told from the lord. That was great! Keep up the good work

anonymous (2010-10-19 22:09:47)
thou shall not pass....amazing

anonymous (2010-10-19 20:52:48)
haha good one, what a pretentious bitch: "the donation should be out of the goodness of your heart" I would like to see more ownage of church phonies

Not funny (2010-10-19 20:28:08)
This one wasn't funny at all.

anonymous (2010-10-19 20:18:21)
eh, okay.. nothing great.. but i still enjoyed it.

Joseph (2010-10-19 20:10:38)
As soon as I "church" I knew you'd go the child molester route. Very creative.

Tom Bosley (2010-10-19 20:10:08)
Well isn't this great one day after I die you update you site. Geeeeez

Suckiest (2010-10-19 19:49:25)
Eh, I can usually shrug off the fact that you seem to make these from scratch, but this one was awful.

Beau Nuss (2010-10-19 19:40:04)
I loved this one. So funny. I'm going to go asspound yer Mom now. I'll tell that whore you said hello as I explore her chocolate starfish.

sprout (2010-10-19 19:26:35)
i fucking love you. x

Sucked (2010-10-19 19:25:37)
Really, this one has to be the suckiest you have done.

Pilar (2010-10-19 19:00:51)
Priceless... can't wait for the next one!

:/ (2010-10-19 18:55:53)
not that funny i mean the child molestation thing was pretty good but overall not that good

Dan (2010-10-19 18:40:27)
lmfao this shit was genius.

anonymous (2010-10-19 18:36:58)
people who get offended truly offend me

Sam (2010-10-19 18:30:13)
hahaha. This was funny! Great job!

Anonymus no.7 (2010-10-19 18:09:37)
(Continuing my comment below) I think it could be true.

Anonymus no.7 (2010-10-19 18:09:03)
These comments are truly divided : These complainers either don't actually understand this website or are just pissed they have to wait more than a month for a couple hundred words. I say : Screw these butthurts, this was hilarious, especially because

FSU (2010-10-19 17:59:40)
Thou shall not pass up on this HD projector and sound system!

FSU (2010-10-19 17:59:24)
AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holyman (2010-10-19 17:23:42)
YEAH!!!

@chipthamac (2010-10-19 17:18:26)
This was "goddamn" funny.

Nice (2010-10-19 17:13:57)
I didn't think you'd go there.....but you did & it was brilliant!

Storm (2010-10-19 17:05:44)
Hahah awesome job.

niloc (2010-10-19 17:01:10)
Funny as hell; and I love how so many commenters here feel that they're entitled to an update every week. Get a life.

FAQ (2010-10-19 16:52:23)
'I think it is about goddamn time..' - oh yeah.. that was brilliant.

FAQ (2010-10-19 16:51:55)
love that the frequently asked questions link was updated.. maybe he counted that as an update and none of us really knew it during that month + of absence?

OMFGQTFBBQ (2010-10-19 16:49:11)
go(o)d one xD. really like it

biggest fan (2010-10-19 16:40:14)
Fuck the haters. Find a new website to hate on. He literally set himself up to have the most epic brutal punch line EVER!! Well done Mike -atheist

angela (2010-10-19 16:37:49)
wasn't worth the long wait.

Mike (2010-10-19 16:26:25)
Didn't really find it that funny, but the update was nice to see

Dr Shitzski (2010-10-19 16:00:15)
I waited a whole month for that? Seriously, that sucked monkey balls. My asshole is funnier than taht!

Moberly, Mo (2010-10-19 15:57:52)
It's funny because the seller is saying it's for football but the church lady says it's for service and the seller is using profanity.

Anonymoose (2010-10-19 15:51:17)
The last line was worth it.

TL (2010-10-19 15:42:08)
Nothing like some good old fashion clergy molestion humor to round it out. 5 weeks is ridic. Either give us one a week or give it up man. Bad Ass of the Week PRODUCES!

Alex S (2010-10-19 15:37:00)
Awww, such a pity :< I read it too fast and now i gotta wait another month plus before the new one comes out *sad face*

[]: (2010-10-19 15:33:22)
Definitely need to update more.

mike (2010-10-19 15:04:38)
you gotta get back to the horse farm technique.. brutal and disgusting is key

andromeda (2010-10-19 15:02:35)
Agree with Frank, and even though the new update isn't one "Mike's" best works, I always enjoy reading the comments and yes ":D" we are connected ;)

Matt (2010-10-19 15:00:58)
very funny, but a new post once a month is ridiculous! Time for a new idea nad a new website

omg cj you see this! (2010-10-19 14:39:23)
A NEW POSTING!!!!

algalkin (2010-10-19 14:34:51)
Need to mess with popes a lot more. Nice one!

no (2010-10-19 14:17:48)
ehhh not the best one yet- kind of lame/easy target. watching a football game during church- it kind of sounds like the preface for a family circle cartoon.

jthesickness (2010-10-19 14:11:08)
I don't know guys have to say he has done it again. His goal is to be a asshole and that is something he does real well. anyone who thinks "donation money used in an out-of-court settlement for a child molestation lawsuit. " is over the line n

qty1 (2010-10-19 14:05:58)
"...it will be like the image was projected by the blinding light of salvation." Made me laugh... But yeah, we definitely need a lot more updates!!!

assman (2010-10-19 14:03:07)
liked it

@Chipthamac (2010-10-19 13:51:07)
Dude, get off this site right now, log off the internet, and go to church or something.

Frank (2010-10-19 13:50:07)
Not your best, but the line "Thou shall not pass up on this HD projector and sound system!" made me smile.

meh (2010-10-19 13:49:37)
not worth the wait. bs. as one said, your site is giing downhill.

dirk (2010-10-19 13:47:16)
hahaha nice

OMGWTFLOLQED (2010-10-19 13:43:43)
"...having my donation money used in an out-of-court settlement for a child molestation lawsuit." This is why I am an atheist. Well played.

bleh (2010-10-19 13:37:50)
not your best

ROFL (2010-10-19 13:30:26)
hahahahahaha "out-of-court settlement for a child molestation lawsuit" hahaha no your best but shit that was fucking funny!

:D (2010-10-19 13:30:26)
wow i posted a very similar comment to yours at the exact same time. we are connected andromeda

Assassin Mary (2010-10-19 13:30:04)
Holy shit that idea of leather recliners in church was hilarious. using the money for child molestation lawsuit to bail a pedo-pastor: priўele$$

Henq (2010-10-19 13:28:56)
Simply love it, great piece of work!

:D (2010-10-19 13:28:05)
as narf narf said, its funny because god isn't real. all religious people deserve it, especially her for saying something as gay as "out of the goodness of your heart"

andromeda (2010-10-19 13:25:50)
What narf narf said!!! :D Oh and she sooo deserves it especially because she said "...out of the goodness of your heart." What is she trying to do (?!) make people donate out of guilt?!

EricElvis (2010-10-19 13:22:50)
Eeehhhhhhhhh.... weak.

ChrisH (2010-10-19 13:19:49)
I waited five weeks for this? Your site is going down hill dude. At least update more often so the shitty emails get buried under the good ones.

zebadee (2010-10-19 13:18:07)
I would much rather donate for that instead of having my donation money used in an out-of-court settlement for a child molestation lawsuit. Ahahahahaha! worth the endless wait for that one line!

anonymous (2010-10-19 13:16:48)
dude i dont know why you have an option for people to comment on your site. you have some of the shittiest fans i have ever seen. im sorry man. loved this one btw

andromeda (2010-10-19 13:14:49)
I haven't read it yet... I just wanna take a moment and enjoy the fact that there's a new update :)

Sidi (2010-10-19 13:14:24)
Well. Not bad. But too far away from very good,

TK (2010-10-19 13:12:36)
I'm a big fan of the site, but this one is terrible. Not funny at all, and no I am not religious so that part doesn't matter to me. Simply not funny and I agree this person did not deserve it.

Chipthamac (2010-10-19 13:07:57)
do not like. Messing with religious establishments is not really funny to me.

anonymous (2010-10-19 13:01:14)
classic way to end it!

narf narf (2010-10-19 12:58:57)
it's funny because god isn't real

anonymous (2010-10-19 12:58:20)
Since when did this site become about people who "deserve it"? The name is emails from AN ASSHOLE. You people are a bunch of whiny pussies!

LMAO (2010-10-19 12:43:47)
At the angry dorks whose parents pay for everything. Churches ask for free donations all the time, and when they're asking to entertain infants its really not that nefarious. If you think this one is the same as the one below it, then you'll pr

anonymous (2010-10-19 12:39:42)
Maybe they could show NFL red zone instead

Ichi (2010-10-19 12:39:10)
Boooo!!! I’d give this one a "D" at best.

stayce (2010-10-19 12:35:14)
Issue is that the way the Eagles are playing, I doubt anyone will donate to that. Phillies, that is a different story. Only someone as funny as you could come from Philly.

Emac (2010-10-19 12:33:10)
LOL that one was awesome. "Personally, I think it is about goddamn time you guys started showing the game during mass." Good work!

LOL (2010-10-19 12:32:39)
bitch is asking for a projector. as a donation. for a church. she deserves everything thats coming to her.

NB (2010-10-19 12:31:14)
I agree... this was a great one! Keep up the good work, asshole!!!

Hmm (2010-10-19 12:30:23)
This one was average at best. I usually love your work and even bought your book, but this one wasn't worth the wait.

anonymous (2010-10-19 12:29:07)
This one was great, keep em coming. To the pussy below me, anyone who asks for shit for free deserves it. Sounds like you are the exact person he was trying to offend.

Ehh (2010-10-19 12:27:03)
This is pretty lame after a month of nothing. Not to mention, if these are in fact "real" you've suggested in the past that you typically only mess with people who deserve it. This lady didn't do anything wrong, despite your trolling.

bupp (2010-10-19 12:24:32)
Haha, possibly best one so far. Cheers.

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