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Semi-gloss Enamel Kitten
Posted at: 2009-06-09 18:34:44
Original ad:
i want a black kitten if you have one please let me know thank you
From Mike Partlow to **********@**********.org

Hey,

I have a kitten that I want to get rid of. It is my girlfriend's kitten, but she went on a three month vacation to France and is probably cheating on me every chance she gets, so I am going to get rid of her kitten to spite her. The kitten is only a month old.

Unfortunately the kitten is not black, it is white, but I can dunk him in a can of black paint if you want. I have acrylic latex enamel paint, but if you are allergic to latex, I also have polyurethane semi-gloss. I personally think the semi-gloss would make the kitten nice and shiny.

Let me know if you want him.

Thanks

Mike

From sarah ******** to Me

ummmmmm no thanks. i dont think that would look right and its prob realy bad for the cat

From Mike Partlow to sarah ********

Sarah,

I assumed you were allergic to latex and went ahead and used the semi-gloss. The kitten looks adorable now! Do you want to come by and pick him up?

Mike

From sarah ******** to Me

WTF R U FUCKIN KIDDING ME! EW

From Mike Partlow to sarah ********

Sarah you're coming to get the kitten, right? You should get him soon. He keeps trying to lick the paint, and I don't have the time to keep watching him to make sure he doesn't.

From sarah ******** to Me

NO I DO NOT WANT HIM THAT IS FUKED UP!!!

From Mike Partlow to sarah ********

Oh, so that's how you do business, Sarah. You made me waste half a can of paint for nothing. I demand at least $10 for compensation.
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Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
sa;als kdjs (2013-10-07 19:41:35)
"ohhhhhhhhhhh" is stupid. you seriously thought this was real? you can't put toxic chemicals on a living thing!!!! you seriously painted your cat? this guy was fucking joking!!!!!!! clean off your cat now!!!!!!!!!
This (2013-05-05 01:21:40)
Sarah seems like the average American valley girl.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh (2013-05-02 01:27:30)
I thought this was real. I painted my cat cause i dont like blacks. I went with pure white and so far no problems.
Shroom207 (2013-05-01 18:33:40)
Man.... Thats sad and fucked up. And ive seen some REALLY fucked up shit :(
DC (2013-04-24 01:24:48)
Chill out people it's a damn joke... but... "the kitten looks adorable now!" hahaha
Jackie (2013-04-12 21:26:13)
Dude, chick should have tried to save the kitten if she had a heart (assuming she thought this was for real).
anon (2013-02-22 04:57:00)
@caluforniakitteh:3: it is just a joke dumb betch -_-
caluforniakitteh:3 (2013-02-10 12:42:00)
Dis not funny yu is cruel im.reprtin this
darkside (2013-01-29 23:07:02)
Same here , this website rocks. Every night before sleeping i read some of your mails from my phone. Keep it up motherfucker!
Bre (2012-09-20 15:30:24)
Wait.. NOT ONE PETA PERSON RANTING ABOUT A CAT BEING PAINTED AND OR THE GIRL NOT GOING TO PICK IT UP AFTER ITS ABUSE?! I didn't think it was possible to have a post about animals without crazy Peta people going nuts over a joke.
garryB (2012-07-26 21:58:51)
I personally think the semi-gloss would make the kitten nice and shiny ==> fuckin epic
Lee (2012-07-19 13:53:44)
i've spent 4 hours reading through all your archives. You are genius.
xXxDeltaxXx (2012-06-15 18:22:14)
Umm, the E-mails here are so fucking hilarious, although i found this one a little bit saddening :/...but still little bit funny :)
I'm blind! (2012-06-12 10:26:37)
Just spent several hours staring at this crap on my phone. Fooken hilarious, for the most part. Bravo sir, now time to get off and hope my vision returns ...
Pendryn (2012-06-10 23:09:13)
Man... half a can of paint? What was it, a quart? Seriously...
lolwut (2012-05-26 16:17:04)
She cares about the COLOUR more than the cat itself? I don't think she's capable to look after a fish, let alone a cat. (God help her if she wants a puppy)
lovethisite (2012-05-17 16:12:20)
Dude u really are hysterical please write more i love this site
That Cat (2012-05-04 21:51:58)
hahahaa, gf's been away for 3 months and her kitten is a month old!
anonymous (2012-04-07 16:06:19)
lolol
hugy (2012-04-07 16:05:56)
hhh
Stupid (2012-03-22 18:42:50)
This one is dumb. Some of these are ok, but most are not funny+
anonymous (2012-03-19 22:49:15)
sarah (2012-03-07 21:55:13)
WTF R U FUCKIN KIDDING ME! EW
anonymous (2011-12-11 05:09:42)
Its funny how the lady didnt care that it wasnt his cat
anonymous (2011-08-01 10:45:09)

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