DontEvenReply.com
 E - m a i l s   f r o m   a n   a s s h o l e
Home    |    Top Rated    |    All E-mails (archive)    |    FAQ/Disclaimer    |    Donate    |    Twitter    |    Facebook



Operation: Soccer Escort
Posted at: 2009-08-07 09:03:54
Original ad:
I am in need of a reliable and SAFE driver to take my 10-year-old daughter home from after-school soccer practice starting in September and ending in late November. She needs to be taken from school in Exton to home in Bryn Mawr. It should take about an hour each day. You will be needed Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Fri. Looking for a safe driver with a clean driving record. E-mail at ***********@comcast.net with references. We can discuss compensation. Thanks!
From Me to ************@comcast.net

Good afternoon.

My name is Mike Partlow and I am very interested in this job. I have a lot of experience driving under dangerous conditions and guarantee your daughter will arrive safely at home every day.

If you are still looking for a dependable driver, please write back.

Sincerely,

Mike Partlow

From Kate ******** to Me

Mr. Partlow (can I call you Mike?),

I still am looking for a driver. Good to know you can handle dangerous conditions...but there probably will not be any dangerous conditions; you are just taking my daughter down Rt 3.

Tell me about yourself - are you a professional driver? Do you have any references from past jobs? What kind of car do you own? Is it reliable?

- Kate

From Me to Kate ********

Kate,

You can call me Mike. I was never one for formalities.

A little about myself, I am 37 years old, and worked as a mercenary driver in the Middle East. I have escorted important clients through high-risk areas in Iraq and Afghanistan for five years. I have seen a lot of action, and have ensured the safety of my clients. Out of all the jobs I have done, 90% of my clients arrived at their destination unharmed.

I have several references. I'll have one of them e-mail you.

My car is very safe and reliable - perfect for your daughter. It is an armored 2007 Chevy Suburban. All glass has been replaced with multi-layered ballistic glass capable of stopping a 7.62 x 39 bullet dead in its tracks. The doors, roof, and floor have been reinforced with ballistic steel/composite that can withstand IED blasts and stop grenade fragmentation. This car has been put to the test and will always deliver.

Safety and protection is my #1 priority. The car is fully loaded with an HK416 assault rifle that fire under the toughest conditions. The roof has a 40mm MK-19 automatic grenade launcher turret installed. Hopefully we won't have to use it, but it is good to have. I can't tell you how many times I've had to return fire against an enemy APC. I assure you that nobody will mess with your daughter as I escort her home from soccer practice.

Now lets discuss pay. I have various security packages I offer, and for your daughter I recommend my medium package which will run you $200 an hour. I also have a minimal package which is only $125 an hour. It is entirely up to you.

Let me know,

Mike Partlow

From Kate ******** to Me

This has to be a joke. This isnt Bagdad, it's suburban PA...

Are you just being sarcastic? What do you really drive? I want to pay 30 bucks a day, tops.

From Me to Kate ********

Kate,

Safety/protection is no joke. For $30, you are likely to get some 17-year-old kid who just got his license and will drive your daughter in his unarmored Ford Focus. I've seen an IED blow a Ford Focus into thousands of pieces, none larger than a golf ball.

My security package is well worth the $200 per trip. We will pick your daughter up in a random Suburban. Four trucks will pull up, and she will get into a random one every day. This is so the enemy does not know which one to attack. The Suburban she is in will have an armed security detail of men I have worked with in Iraq. We know what we are doing. She will be escorted in our convoy down the highway at a high rate of speed to avoid stopping in "kill zones." All vehicles are equipped with an MIRT which is used to change the traffic lights to green so we will not have to slow down. Your daughter will arrive safely in your arms no later than 20 minutes from when she is extracted from the soccer field.

Please reconsider my offer. You can't put a price on your daughter's safety.

From Kate ******** to Me

Stop wasting my time. Don't e-mail me again.


(later, from another e-mail account)

From Nick Walken to Kate **********

Dear Kate,

I am an old client of Mike Partlow. He told me that you wanted a reference for a job you are considering him for. Let me start off by saying, you could not have made a finer choice. Mike is the best there is. He literally saved my life countless times in Iraq. Whatever you are using him for, you have made the right choice. You will be 100% safe.

When I think about my experience Mike, one time stands above the rest. Back in 2005, I was a contractor in Iraq and had hired Mike's security detail to escort me through Fallujah. Everything was going fine until our convoy was hit by an IED. I don't remember much, but next thing you know, I woke up in a Republican Guard prisoner camp with Mike. I thought we were goners. They took me and Mike into a hut, where there were at least eight armed soldiers placing bets. They were going to make Mike and I play Russian Roulette. Mike convinced a soldier to let him play with three bullets, instead of one, which I thought was crazy. Mike even put the gun to his head once and pulled the trigger. He started laughing, and the soldiers started laughing too. When they let their guard down, he immediately shot three of them in the head, grabbed one of their AKs, and gunned down the other five soldiers. I didn't think we would make it out of that one alive, but thanks to Mike's heroic actions, I am here today.

You cannot go wrong with Mike Partlow. He is the best of the best. One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad. He makes do with what he has and will survive the worst of situations.

If you have any more questions about Mike, please don't hesitate to contact me. I owe the man my life.

Nick

From Kate ******** to Me

what in the hell...
Share    
Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
FarmaciaDaub (2017-10-18 13:21:19)
Erezione comprare femminile naturale dove levitra viagra farmaci mastercard unicredit immediata te per cura
FarmaciaDaub (2017-10-18 12:16:11)
Erettile visa chi disfunzione quello bancoposta italia sildenafil farmaci trentino durata
FarmaciaDaub (2017-10-18 05:06:43)
Mg a 40 profilattici mastercard prezzo viagra test on serve disfunzione erettile cosa cialis
FarmaciaDaub (2017-10-18 04:02:07)
Cialis erettile spedizione ti bancoposta italia ricetta prova di gratuita sildenafil generico persone
FarmaciaDaub (2017-10-16 14:03:01)
Gravissima visa semplice cialis ricetta soft mg viagra con prezzo postepay
FarmaciaDaub (2017-10-16 13:21:21)
Dove vardenafil viagra visa farmacia visa postepay dosaggio comprare cialis problema
Mariajup (2017-10-12 21:12:01)
[url=][/url]. Erythromycin Menstrual Valtrex Kidney Herpes Labialis Paxil Usage Phenergan Syrup Dosage Codeine Per . 7 Oct 2008. From a reader: I recently was switched from Synthroid to generic levothyroxine. Organic Egg Allergy . Glucophage Park Pulse D
TimmyRew (2017-09-21 22:44:39)
Hi HI
Kamorkasel (2017-08-02 08:51:44)
Having Clean Anal Sex , cheat lesbian wife porn home orgasm masturbation video nasty porn video japan . Xxx Mp4 Video Youtube - movie girl deepthroathing dick free movie male dick suck . Long Sex Movie From French pussy fucking machine movie emo gir
Merlindiaws (2017-07-26 19:15:34)
[url=https://www.isabellabrancolini.it/images/originals/1532-adidas-gazelle-pelle-bianca.jpg]Adidas Gazelle Pelle Bianca[/url] For individuals who have joint inflammation in their knees, Hyaluronic acidity injections are a good alternative. Since those
Merlindiaws (2017-07-26 19:12:37)
[url=https://www.isabellabrancolini.it/images/originals/950-adidas-gazelle-a-buon-mercato.jpg]Adidas Gazelle A Buon Mercato[/url] Carry a road map or some sort of route to your given area. Some of the best wine places are extremely structured as well as
Merlindiaws (2017-07-26 10:28:26)
[url=https://www.isabellabrancolini.it/images/originals/2604-adidas-gazelle-5.jpg]Adidas Gazelle 5[/url] A great video clip could be destroyed by poor music. Invest a few money and also audio devices that will report you clearly. Usually do not depend o
Merlindiaws (2017-07-26 04:25:41)
[url=https://www.isabellabrancolini.it/images/originals/538-adidas-gazelle-suola-alta.jpg]Adidas Gazelle Suola Alta[/url] Use coffee syrups if you want flavoured caffeine. They are excellent choices to creamers and flavored legumes. They are made of goo
SergioN (2017-07-21 16:24:42)
I see you don't monetize your website, don't waste your traffic, you can earn extra bucks every month because you've got good content. If you want to know perfect monetization method for your website search in google: murgrabia's tools
farmaciaDaub (2017-07-11 05:18:45)
Farmacia online
farmaciaDaub (2017-07-09 14:43:41)
Farmacia online
farmaciaDaub (2017-07-09 13:22:40)
Farmacia online
Louisesab (2017-07-07 16:03:24)
Crush And Snort Citalopram Lexapro Celexa Glucovance Brand Name Prescriptions Insulin . seroquel purchase canada. buy seroquel generic. seroquel purchase online. Cheapest Drug Free Shipping the ovaries to produce eggs in ovarian disorders. How to Order
fgh (2017-06-10 20:17:30)
dfgh
Annunci Subito.it (2017-05-26 16:54:25)
Annunci Subito.it Annunci Gratuiti Subito.it per comprare e vendere usato come auto, moto e scooter ed altri veicoli usati, migliaia di offerte di lavoro in tutta italia. Tutta Italia vendita o affitto case, annunci auto e moto usate, offerte lavoro e
farmacia cialis (2017-05-22 14:56:47)
Biljni rx farmacia italia alla consegna farmaci prezzo levitra cialis disfunzione 40 nuovi mg erettile cialis prezzo in farmacia levitra prezzo in farmacia viagra prezzo in farmacia prezzo in farmacia comprare vardenafil vendita cialis generico
subito.it (2017-05-05 09:54:09)
Annunci Gratuiti Subito.it per comprare e vendere usato come auto, moto e scooter ed altri veicoli usati, migliaia di offerte di lavoro in tutta italia. Tutta Italia vendita o affitto case, annunci auto e moto usate, offerte lavoro e molto altro. Inseri
subito.it (2017-05-02 04:34:26)
Annunci Gratuiti Subito.it per comprare e vendere usato come auto, moto e scooter ed altri veicoli usati, migliaia di offerte di lavoro in tutta italia. Tutta Italia vendita o affitto case, annunci auto e moto usate, offerte lavoro e molto altro. Inseri
farmacia cialis (2017-04-29 09:15:58)
Levitra rx farmacia italia sicura cialis erettile disfunzione interazioni magi problema
rx farmacia cialis (2017-04-24 14:07:03)
Prezzo informazione rx farmacia italia sicura erettile cialis disfunzione levitra finasteride

View all comments
(C) Copyright 2009 dontevenreply.com | Privacy Policy | Advertise | Hosting provided by Apis Networks