Posted at: 2009-10-07 11:21:36
I have a 1998 nissan that rear ended someone last week. There is some minor damage that need fixed...but I cant afford to go to a body shop..anyone who is willing to help for less would be doing me a HUGE favor. thanks!
From Me to ***********@**********.org
Hey, how's it going.
I'm a mechanic looking to do some work on the side, and I can probably help you out with your car. How bad is the damage to the car?
From Kristen ****** to Me:
Hi Mike. The damage isnt bad...my hood is bent and i think the headlight cracked...but I took it for an estimate and they told me i was looking at at least a couple thousand for repairs. im not sure if they are trying to rip me off so take a look if you want. sorry...this is the best picture i could get with my phone
From Me to Kristen ******:
Ouch...that doesn't look good, Kristen. From glancing at the picture, it is obvious you are going to need a new hood, fender, and headlight. It looks like your headlight is indeed cracked, and it looks like you probably severed the headlight fluid line as well. From the way the hood is bent, it looks like your transmission has been dislodged and will probably have to be replaced. Judging by the headlight damage, I may have to replace your headlight fluid pump as well, and I need to take out the motor to get to that. It is going to be a lot of work.
How much were you looking to spend to get this fixed?
From Kristen ****** to Me:
wow i didnt think it was that bad...do you think you can fix it? i cant afford to spend alot of money on this.
From Me to Kristen ******:
I can absolutely fix it. I can probably steal the parts you'll need from a junkyard, but you will have to post my bail if I get caught again. Last time, bail was about $400 and I had to pay another $500 fine after court. As for the labor, it is going to cost you about $1500. Replacing the headlight fluid pump is very difficult, and will probably take a lot of time to do. So you are looking at anywhere from $1500 to $2400.
From Kristen ****** to Me:
ok thanks anyway. that is too much for me...ill just deal with it for now i guess
From Me to Kristen ******:
Kristen, I strongly advise you to get this fixed immediately. You will not pass inspection without a headlight fluid pump, and it is very dangerous to be driving without one. It is very likely that your car could catch fire and explode while you are driving.
Look, I understand you are on a budget and I'd be willing to knock a couple hundred bucks off of the cost of labor if I can have your car's CD player. You won't get a better deal anywhere else.
From Kristen ****** to Me:
what?! the other guy didnt say anything like that. im going to get a few more opinions first, ill let you know. thanks
From Me to Kristen ******:
Don't take too long - your car is in immediate danger.
From Kristen ****** to Me:
I just called the auto center and they said there is no such thing as a headlight fluid pump...or headlight fluid...they were laughing...what is your problem douche bag?
From Me to Kristen ******:
Whoever you talked to there obviously has no idea what they are talking about. Look, you can see it in the picture, you are clearly leaking headlight fluid. I pointed it out in the attachment, it is what the red arrow is pointing to. You can see it leaking from the headlight.
From Kristen ****** to Me:
Ok ass hole...thanks for wasting my time
From Me to Kristen ******:
Sorry for trying to save your life. You'll be sorry when that fluid ignites and makes your transmission explode while you are driving.
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Me (2013-04-27 17:31:48)
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Tyler (2013-02-10 18:14:23)
LOL headlight fluid. Women will fucking believe anything.
TigerladyNZ (2013-02-06 19:41:35)
Great second pic BUT everyone, including Kristen, knows that headlight fluid isn't green.
Jeff (2013-02-01 02:14:01)
Second picture is epic! HAHAHAHA
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paul (2012-12-12 00:43:35)
shit I just had my car repaired and they charged me for replacing the headlight fluid pump?? wtf
LOL (2012-12-08 22:40:38)
I just called the auto center and they said there is no such thing as a headlight fluid pump...or headlight fluid...they were laughing..
Me (2012-11-22 11:19:55)
Red Vs. Blue, anyone? XD
Ralphy (2012-10-20 01:07:31)
It looks like you have a leaky canooter value and if you dont get a rim job to replace the value you are looking at a major gas leak!
kal tuvis (2012-10-19 09:37:10)
what will really boggle ya now is that 2013 -2014 european model cars have headlights that reallydo have fluid. w that make it harder or easier to f*ck w dumb people?
Kroniko (2012-09-25 22:57:21)
Wow brings me back to Auto Tech School. We always initiated new students by asking them to fill the Headlight Fluid and check the Muffler Bearings. Funny every time.
Snarky (2012-07-29 11:37:27)
Be sure to check the muffler bearings as well...
Dizzy (2012-07-27 20:22:54)
LMFAO at the edited picture XD
the second pic (2012-07-26 18:27:56)
LMAO LMAO LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
n/a (2012-07-21 02:56:15)
LMAO THE SECOND PIC GOT ME ROLLIN'!!!
Awesome Girl says... (2012-07-21 02:20:47)
LOL That pic is Hilarious!!
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@@admirer-Not everyone in the world is fluent in English, my friend. Maybe admirer lives in a country that doesn't speak English. Cut him a break.
Futalover (2012-06-11 16:02:03)
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Yup. (2012-05-31 04:48:13)
superpimp4life (2012-05-18 21:56:44)
I only wish i had a recording of the conversation when she called the mechanics about the headlight fluid pump
Jesus (2012-05-17 20:03:06)
This is classic
Tim (2012-04-26 16:27:40)
MSPainting the fluid is such a David Thorne ripoff, but funny nonetheless...
This is cool!
Matt (2012-02-27 03:39:35)
Kristen's car also needs brand new tire whippers and a new front bumper pump
raz0rblade (2012-02-23 21:34:04)
Either Gavino moonlights as a mechanic, or there's actually somebody on the planet who's dumber than he is......
Thunderclese (2012-01-17 10:53:20)
That 21 year old Male was clearly a homosexual, therefor, 69% female.
Indigo (2012-01-03 14:50:32)
And two quarts of elbow grease.
Kurt Ketamean (2011-12-18 02:30:06)
Best one LOLOL
"they said there is no such thing as a headlight fluid pump...or headlight fluid...they were laughing"
anonymous (2011-12-11 11:28:53)
Are you sure it wasn't the wiper juice?
Chrissy (2011-12-09 19:57:05)
"it's funny because she's a women and didn't know anything about cars"
bahaha. and it's pretty funny that you can't spell
RvB Fan (2011-11-29 19:14:33)
Hahahahhaha Head light fluid. Fuck yes for RoosterTeeth
willy (2011-11-27 17:52:27)
i cant believe she actually bought that... what a dumbass!
anonymous (2011-11-25 04:05:39)
agreed. people don't know shit about their own bodies
anonymous (2011-10-14 00:35:49)
That's awesome she called an auto parts store and they laughed at her.
Name? Umm... (2011-09-27 21:29:34)
Headlight Fluid=Red Vs. Blue Reference FTW!
Interesting (2011-09-17 19:33:09)
Headlight fluid eh? RvB Drunk tank watcher I see :)
poobread (2011-09-09 10:54:29)
"they were laughing" hahaha
@admirer (2011-09-07 17:21:08)
learn fucking english you hippie
admirer (2011-09-07 08:43:47)
i is officialy: Iam hooked
anonymous (2011-09-04 18:06:07)
The fucking picture! I laughed so goddamn hard!!!
Deanie McSweeney (2011-09-03 07:47:03)
It sounded familiar to her because she likes getting fluid on her headlights.
the_tcm (2011-08-09 23:28:03)
I almost pissed myself!!
Ultimate Blonde (2011-08-07 19:42:50)
Geeeezzzzz....well at least now I dont think all "men" are stupid. Was beginning to wonder when I (30 year old female) had to show a 21 year old male how to take his own tire off and put the donut on. poor guy didnt even know what the spare tire
Jacob (2011-08-07 17:36:59)
it's funny because she's a women and didn't know anything about cars
Icwutyudidthere (2011-08-01 20:57:33)
Lmao, headlight fluid, RvB reference ftw!
Mohs (2011-07-29 22:42:55)
Loll I think u shud email all these "victims" the link to this website so they can get a laugh out of it too.. I'm sure they wudnt mind
abasslinelow (2011-07-29 20:13:00)
"I just called the auto center and they said there is no such thing as a headlight fluid pump...or headlight fluid...they were laughing.." Perfection, in response form.
Sara Elizabeth (2011-07-28 23:49:05)
Funniest one yet! I am crying, this is so stupid. Headlight fluid. Wtf, who buys that stupid shit! She obviously needs to learn about cars.
bob (2011-07-20 07:21:12)
haha, i loved how she actually asked the mechanics about it! but to be honest, most of you probably don't know shit about most of the stuff you use. how many of you know anythign about internal medicine, even though it's your own body?
anonymous (2011-07-19 08:32:16)
PS--This one is one of the more hilarious ones so far "they said there is no such thing as a headlight fluid pump...or headlight fluid...they were laughing"--LMAO
PS-it looks like the car is crying
anonymous (2011-07-19 08:27:55)
how can she possibly know so little about cars, and yet still own and operate one? It's ludicrous.
haha (2011-07-19 08:26:53)
LMAO, I can't believe she doesn't realize he's BSing her right away, I mean c'mon, he can tell from looking at the hood that the transmission's "dislodged", and the "fluid pump" to the HEADLIGHT needs to be replaced??
TheLegendaryDickNeck (2011-07-17 02:44:04)
Honestly if she was willing to do you a "HUGE favor" in return for this, seems like a good deal.
Nicole (2011-07-06 13:45:50)
I laughed so hard my sides hurt. Luckily not all women are as ignorant when it comes to cars as this girl was. WOW. Next time use the: Your Vehicle is being recalled due to the loose nut behind the wheel. :)
Jizz (2011-06-27 02:30:02)
Such carnage when they leave the kitchen.
Derp (2011-06-25 00:08:17)
matt (2011-06-08 15:13:26)
You shoulda tried to sell her seatbelt reinforcements and a built in fire extinguisher lol
Odaval (2011-06-07 10:51:27)
Women shouldn't be able to own cars... old people too...
moontractor (2011-05-31 00:19:21)
Prolly coulda sold her a carbeurator belt and some muffler bearings too!
LMAO (2011-05-28 07:33:46)
reminds me of when I was a firedog pc tech at circuit city...we used to tell dumb fucks that wanted to blame us for their shit being broken that it needed a new flux capacitor, we got geek quad coming in laughing constantly
Hail 616!!! (2011-05-24 01:44:11)
But at least I know that a car doesn't have a biscuit gasket.
Hail 616!!! (2011-05-21 07:49:47)
I take it hard in the ass.
haaus (2011-05-20 11:14:24)
hmmm... This looks shopped.. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite af few shops in my time.
DaN (2011-05-20 03:26:42)
Matt (2011-05-19 14:41:18)
"I just called the auto center and they said there is no such thing as a headlight fluid pump...or headlight fluid...they were laughing." Hahaha, poor woman! I WISH I could have been there when she made the call, omg!
Hail 616!!! (2011-05-16 14:22:44)
...Thus proving that women don't know shit about cars and should therefore leave the driving to the man of the house.
MAD MIKE'S MATE (2011-05-11 01:57:27)
Looks like Preditor blood
hjkhkl (2011-05-04 15:27:35)
i wish i got to take this ladys call when she asked how much a headlight fluid pump costs
1325 (2011-04-22 15:10:23)
"You'll be sorry when that head light fluid ignites and makes your transmission explodes while you are driving." AHAHAHAHAHHAA OMG LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Eric (2011-04-20 00:44:32)
@LinksLegionaire I am glad to see someone else caught that!
LOLOLOLOL (2011-04-05 12:42:09)
haaahahaha I cannot believe she asked! and I LOVE your picture of the fluid leaking lmao
Jessica (2011-04-01 20:05:27)
OMFG I freakin' love that she went and asked someone about the "headlight fluid" moron deserved to get embarrassed in public and trolled on the interwebs =)
siciid8 (2011-03-27 05:47:29)
I can probably steal the parts you'll need from a junkyard, but you will have to post my bail if I get caught again....i loled during a seminar after reading that comment
jihad (2011-03-26 05:42:44)
BRILLIANT, this is my fav so far, CLASSIC
Brooks (2011-03-24 22:57:09)
HAHA classic. This is as good as swapping out the winter air for summer air in the tires....
Or as my grandpa told a guy once, 'youve got a cracked turning radius and a bent wheelbase'
LinksLegionaire (2011-03-24 00:29:27)
Lmao at the headlight fluid.
For those of you that don't know, it's a reference to RoosterTeeth's Red vs. Blue machinima .
lulzylul (2011-03-21 04:42:10)
I like how she even stated that the mechanics laughed her after the call
esther (2011-03-04 13:30:12)
Slacking@work (2011-02-15 11:37:29)
This is classic. Headlight fluid pump... ah too funny. I REALLY wish I had heard the conversation she had with the auto-shop. Freakin classic.
Mr. Knows-Alot (2011-01-03 04:24:13)
Lmfao "Headlight Fluid" "Headlight Fluid PUMP" What Kind Of Retard Would Even Belive Somthing Like That, And Needing To Remove The Motor To Get To It XD LOLOLOLOL Nice, Nice, Fucking Nice! ;'D
Antonio (2011-01-01 07:23:51)
Wow some people know nothing about cars. Head light fluid lmfao she is a dumbass
HA! (2010-12-28 20:53:05)
"I have a 1998 nissan that rear ended someone last week." As though the car did it by itself :)
haha (2010-12-25 19:25:03)
lmfao! imagine what the people at the auto center were like when she asked for the price of a headlight fluid pump
Hahaman (2010-12-10 19:04:50)
He should have asked for "favors" or "services" in exchange hahahahhahaahaha!!
F4ce.l30ok (2010-12-09 21:29:42)
XD you said hard socem
horselegs (2010-11-23 16:48:47)
The funniest thing about this is that even after the auto shop people laughed at her, she probably still drove around afraid that her car was moments away from exploding.
socem (2010-11-14 16:55:50)
I read this late last year, laughed really hard. Re-read it again today and laughed almost as hard again. I wish I had been at the auto repair shop listening to the employees. Classic.
Mylilpwnie (2010-10-20 03:53:25)
ROFL, the part where she called the auto centre, pure gold. Nothing he could have done would have topped that. "They were laughing... whats your problem douchebag?" fucking awesome.
F4ce.l30ok (2010-10-14 01:22:52)
I see John Found another "Burnt out lightbulb"...
Happy African (2010-10-13 08:36:32)
The headlight fluid joke is common and what's sad, many ignorant new drivers fall for it. more car problem jokes: answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081218090225AAr6J2s
Tyler (2010-09-28 02:48:51)
Oh yeah, this one deserved it!
Headlight fluid pump?! Seriously?! XD I didn't think I would ever stop laughing at that one.
anonymous (2010-09-28 00:11:54)
i cannot BELIEVE she believed the headlight fluid thing. she even called a shop!
geean (2010-09-24 05:20:41)
Holy poop on a stick you are a genius. I was laughing so hard I was screaming.
anonymous (2010-09-09 21:43:10)
lmfao she got embarrased after going to a real shop. gold!!
anonymous (2010-09-09 15:43:24)
She called a real shop, they laughed at her, fuccn a
anonymous (2010-08-31 16:19:10)
headlight fluid pump LOL!!!!
anonymous (2010-08-24 11:12:12)
this is my favorite!
nicxter (2010-08-22 08:46:55)
HAHA LOL nice editing :))
jlid (2010-07-21 19:50:50)
This shit is amazing. My wife says I sound like I'm drunk cuz I'm laffing so hard.
r (2010-07-21 14:10:32)
@ joe: its safe to assume the woman does not view mike as a technician much less a reputable one.
@ mike: lmfao, how i would love to hear the conversation she had with the shop
@ micheal jackson and FAKE: whats goin on here? which one of you is hte real
unagi (2010-07-21 04:58:00)
I just called the auto center and they said there is no such thing as a headlight fluid pump...or headlight fluid...they were laughing...what is your problem douche bag? <--- that's priceless...hahaha...
Kevin (2010-07-20 14:28:25)
I love the "tears" coming out of the headlight like it's crying.
cole (2010-07-20 10:32:40)
ooooooooh man u did it again classic..the picture seals the deal man.it will blow up!! oMG super roll on the floor shit, i been crying all day reading this stuff
walkie talkie (2010-07-18 00:17:21)
"I can probably steal the parts you'll need from a junkyard, but you will have to post my bail if I get caught again." I laughed so hard I thought the neighbors might call the cops.
LOL (2010-07-16 17:05:23)
I was laughing while i read about the headlight fluid pump.. but when that woman actually said she CALLED the shop i was in tears... oh man and by the 2nd picture i was rolling on the floor this is GOLDEN!!
Alex (2010-07-15 10:36:36)
I shouldn't have read this at work! I laughed really, REALLY loud when the poor dumb girl said she called the shop and they were laughing. Headlight fluid pump???
wk (2010-07-13 15:49:07)
The transgasket needs some work too.
Asshole (2010-07-06 18:39:46)
And here I was replying shit to people's questions in tech forums thinking I was this big asshole but since stumbling on this site I've realised that Im nothing compared to you. I truly believe you deserve a nobel prize or something.
Elares (2010-07-01 20:55:29)
Headlight fluid leaking? How did he know she had a baby? Amazing !
Sa Citizen (2010-06-30 04:59:39)
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... HE DREW in the leaking fluid!
DonRaggo (2010-06-29 21:24:38)
OMFG, Mike you are a fucking Genius, I've been reading a lot of your E-Mail responses for time and you are the fucking shiz-it, keep it up bad man, and its true, you are an Asshole ;)
pedo bear (2010-06-28 19:54:45)
omg this women has to be the worse when it comes to dealing with trolls, i MEAN COMMON
Angizolo (2010-06-28 12:03:36)
it killed me when i saw the picture he sent back.
Charlie (2010-06-27 15:43:00)
As soon as I read "headlight fluid" I lost it.
No (2010-06-26 13:29:52)
Hey Silky.. shut the hell up :D
Brian (2010-06-25 23:28:25)
Oh god, the car is crying!
who (2010-06-24 08:57:24)
Fuck I havent laughed like this in a while this is pure ownage!!
n (2010-06-23 10:17:28)
freaking hilarous, man! keep it up!
Lynn (2010-06-21 11:56:24)
hahahahahaha.....headlight fluid....and she actually called a shop! That prolly made that guy's day!
Tiirediiyes (2010-06-15 08:40:33)
CJ (2010-06-15 00:40:12)
i lost it when he sent back the attachment with the fluid
Randomcomments (2010-06-14 23:17:48)
Don't take to long, your car is in immediate danger
- LOL I laughed so hard.
Silky (2010-06-11 14:04:31)
Of course she would believe it, she's a woman....
ha (2010-06-10 12:33:50)
Joe the hunter (2010-06-10 02:06:44)
Headlight fluid pump huh? Genius!!!!!! LOL!!!!
cheko (2010-06-09 22:18:37)
man the second picture is just hilarious!
swede (2010-06-04 00:42:36)
Last time I was in a fender bender I bent the Johnson rod that controls the foo foo valve on my exhaust mixer modulator. The blinker fluid leaked out and the muffler bearings always made squealing noises after that.
should be studying (2010-05-12 15:22:36)
i'm in the library laughing my ass off. i love this site
Sam (2010-05-09 16:48:51)
Haha, headlight fluid. Was that an RVB reference?
Dillon (2010-05-08 04:14:28)
I about died laughing at the "leaking headlight fluid" diagram
x-boyfriend of blond (2010-05-05 10:42:53)
That's ultimate, I died laughing. Especially how she seems ok with stealing from Junkyard . and how she was fooled that she called a repair shop to tell them about the headlight fluid, and made them laugh at her.I'm sure they thought, "haha
Name (2010-05-03 02:16:18)
I like how the girl wasn't phased at all when you told her about the junkyard and how she would have to bail you out.
Wannes (2010-04-29 16:10:10)
EPIC!!, best ever
Stever (2010-04-29 10:23:59)
Headlight fluid pump...that's awesome!
mechanic21 (2010-04-26 01:50:44)
hahaha headlight fluid...thats fuckin awsome
dickhead (2010-04-15 09:55:25)
thts my car...
izzzzzzzzzo (2010-04-14 14:00:02)
mike is a perfect machanic i,ll never let my light fluid come out hahahahha
maryAuditorediFirenz (2010-04-14 00:37:29)
Omg I bursted out laughing at my workplace with this. I work in an auto parts store and we had a chick come and asked for flywheel shock solenoid transistor. .we lold a lot
Terri (2010-04-13 18:48:02)
love these emails, but i can't believe that NO ONE of his "victims" had the sense of humour, or brains, to bounce right back at him with anything like wit.
SKIP (2010-04-12 08:04:51)
Let's remember that Mercedes do have that little washer thingie on their headlights, it's own pump and reseervoir!! NOT THIS CAR THOUGH!
willa (2010-04-09 04:57:33)
HAH! i read a lot of these e-mails but this has made me laugh the hardest.. "I just called the auto center and they said there is no such thing as a headlight fluid pump...or headlight fluid...they were laughing...what is your problem douche bag?"
@joe (2010-04-07 18:09:34)
man get a sense of humor is someone is so stupid as to think that they are leaking headlight fluid then idk if they deserve a license
tn526 (2010-04-06 21:28:56)
I laughed so hard I think I leaked some headlight fluid myself...
Zachs (2010-04-05 19:16:53)
@Joe (2010-04-04 17:07:00)
You're a fuckin retard joe.
@Joe (2010-03-31 14:23:57)
Dude it's a joke
Joe (2010-03-25 15:46:41)
What an asshole. Fuckers like that give reputable technicians like me a bad name.
Dan (2010-03-13 17:08:07)
Instead of money you should have asked her for sex and tell her you'd do all the repairs for free. She seemed desperate.
Jackie (2010-03-10 19:53:27)
OMG that was hilarious.
Anon (2010-03-09 12:12:29)
Very funny indeed. As a mechanic myself (more like a hobby) I couldn't help but laugh my ass off when reading this.
QWERTY (2010-03-02 22:25:44)
wow. she might even need to get her poonfore replaced as well....lol
Pandora (2010-02-27 15:15:21)
I am loving the incredible Headlight fluid spill, I spat Dr Pepper on my laptop.
Nettneo (2010-02-27 09:54:01)
Wow fun post. Stupid women drivers!
zebra (2010-02-25 15:39:58)
This is my absolute favorite one! :)
jaspergeh (2010-02-23 08:43:03)
As a long-time mechanic and service manager, I have always wanted to pull such a gag on a customer, but I also wanted my customers to trust my shop and, ya know... make money. T: love the diesel spark plug bit!
goosh (2010-02-21 12:39:53)
i,m embarrased that my car has a headlight fluid pump really it makes them flick up,,,,,,,,,,,,
Re: heh (2010-02-21 00:49:09)
Um no, RvB just happened to reference the same classic gag...
Heh (2010-02-20 18:02:14)
That's great. I'm not sure if anyone above noticed, but that's an awesome Red Vs Blue reference there.
T (2010-02-19 13:02:20)
Why do the spark plugs on my Dodge dual-rear-wheel pickup keep fouling? It's a diesel, and it never starts when it's cold out....
Alex (2010-02-18 22:49:55)
HAHAHA... who's car was this? I think I know... probably 20 people who this could've been. I think my headlight fluid is leaking!!
MyOtherCar (2010-02-17 17:06:45)
is a Puma.
dicko (2010-02-14 16:45:28)
gahhH!! (2010-02-13 11:05:02)
unbefuckinglievably fantastic! still catching my breath, haven't laughed like that in weeks. thank you!
Levi (2010-02-12 10:55:43)
The car was laughing so hard it started to cry!
robizz (2010-02-11 21:29:53)
hahaha that car barely even looks damaged.. love the fluid leak though!
john troll (2010-02-11 20:58:40)
so good when they said the mechanics were laughing !!! hahahahaahhaa
q (2010-02-11 04:26:47)
I think that last pic was shopped.
Happy Tinfoil Cat (2010-02-11 00:58:02)
Laughed to tears. Best one I've read so far.
Anonymous (2010-02-10 17:53:52)
rick (2010-02-06 23:56:40)
mastrer chief you are a total retard that has been around for forever
Shawna (2010-02-02 02:55:38)
Omfg...you are brilliant!
masterchief (2010-01-31 02:33:22)
isn't the headlight fluid pun from redvsblue from machinima? haha
Gaby (2010-01-29 03:16:28)
That doctored picture is priceless!!!
Flandre (2010-01-26 12:30:25)
This is fucking hilairos!
LOL (2010-01-23 18:18:04)
I LOVE HOW HE SENT THE PICTURE BACK W/ "FLUID" LEAKING OUT, LOLOL.
LanChester pro (2010-01-23 14:46:13)
dont forget the blinker fluid that needs to be changed every 15,000 miles
Alan (2010-01-22 08:03:07)
"I just called the auto center and they said there is no such thing as a headlight fluid pump...or headlight fluid...they were laughing...what is your problem douche bag?"
good god that's fucking funny
anonymous (2010-01-18 18:48:20)
This is the funniest one!
Joe (2010-01-12 21:59:19)
Anybody with half a brain would know there's no such think as headlight fluid! xD
Exelero (2010-01-07 15:51:47)
"From the way your hood is bent it looks like your transmission is dislodged" xD
Zepex (2010-01-07 07:15:15)
This is great! You have some gift...
mzrellerelle (2010-01-06 01:23:01)
I just DIED laughing at the fluid pic!
AnonymousLUEser (2010-01-05 22:42:21)
I loled so hard at the leaking fluids pick
Cassy (2010-01-02 21:04:04)
Zomg I know next to nothing about cars, but damn even I knew that there is no such thing as a headlight fluid pump what a dumb bitch! This made me laugh my ass off!
JD (2010-01-01 19:45:34)
could i get a quote for you to replace my squeaker valve, and re-fill my blinker fluid? lol this site is the best thing since sliced bread!!!!!!
gullible stupid wome (2009-12-30 20:40:04)
what a thing for a stupid woman to do!
aminem (2009-12-30 10:14:11)
Looks at that car crying! Genius!
EC (2009-12-22 19:41:53)
It's a good thing she didn't damage the Chrome Reverse Muffler Bearings those are really expensive to replace
chris (2009-12-22 15:00:26)
This brought me to tears. Kudos sir , kudos
Headlight Fluid Pump (2009-12-21 02:03:53)
I'm real guys! Honest!
Evilution (2009-12-18 06:00:56)
Brillinat work dude!
Austin S. (2009-12-17 22:23:04)
Love the headlight fluid pump......awesome....
I got a guy at work to ask around for blinker fluid the other day......classic.....
DUDE (2009-12-09 18:13:34)
Amazing what you can do in Paint!
mylo (2009-12-08 03:27:57)
jesus titty fucking christ that's awsome man
me (2009-12-08 02:11:25)
you are out of control !!!!! LMAO @ the picture !!
Another asshole (2009-12-06 10:44:04)
a headlight fluid pump --> We have a king in our presence.
GoodTimeCharley (2009-12-03 14:51:17)
LMFAO god forbid you need to replace your headlight fluid pump!!! what a dumb bitch
cisco (2009-12-02 07:37:08)
dont get ripped off. a brand new hood is abt $60 a brand new fender is $40, headlight is $20 . and the chassis has not been touche it is all cosmetic. the whole work is less than $250
Seppo (2009-11-30 12:16:31)
I have not laughed this hard in a lonnnnnnng time. LOLOLOL! This website is absolutely classic! :D
jack (2009-11-30 03:13:13)
lmfao, "your transmission has been dislodged"
NoName (2009-11-27 20:50:13)
I love you.
eva screamo (: (2009-11-27 16:17:45)
lmao this websiteis amazing
amonomys (2009-11-24 15:05:16)
the funniest part is the chic actually called the auto center prob an auto zone.. She was prob hysterical and they all were just laughing at her
win (2009-11-24 03:48:25)
jpark (2009-11-23 14:47:52)
HAHAHAHAHAHA I just died.
person (2009-11-21 16:35:50)
the sad thing is, most body shops act like this guy but are being serious. lol
J (2009-11-19 00:15:28)
This website's great. Gives me something to waste my time on while in school.
Brian (2009-11-18 23:53:48)
This site is absolutely hillarious!!!!
I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!!!
ryan (2009-11-15 02:47:57)
you deserve it if you believe there is actually headlight fluid... i mean really... hahahahaha
just me (2009-11-12 04:29:02)
What an idiot you are.
Chicky (2009-11-11 08:12:46)
That asshole reminded me of world politics. This is how it is played only in more sophisticated ways.
Chicky (2009-11-11 08:10:10)
That asshole reminded me of word politics, this is how it is played only in more sophisticated ways.
Bob (2009-11-07 09:06:22)
Aww, the cars crying
Loz (2009-11-06 13:52:43)
This HAS to be my favourite... so funny :D
žÇ (2009-11-05 05:35:13)
That's funny, I don't care who you are.
rjm (2009-11-03 22:16:15)
this is the funniest stuff i've ever read
George Dub.B (2009-11-02 13:27:20)
Hey buddy, I'm thinkin my headlight fluid pump is prolly broken too. Seems ta me I might be needin yer services. Call me @ 202-456-1414. Thanks Broham
LOL (2009-11-01 21:24:38)
hehehehehehhehe he photoshopped it
anonymous (2009-10-29 19:01:45)
Sundown (2009-10-29 16:34:48)
OMG, this was hilarious. I actually was reading this at work and needed to stop reading because I was crying of laughter.
Jack (2009-10-28 16:47:31)
Love (2009-10-27 16:44:16)
I read all of them and this one is my favorite. Now whenever I drive by an accident with a busted headlight I can't help hoping the "headlight fluid pump" is okay. LOL! :)
SoNaive (2009-10-22 16:32:03)
I like how the original ad said that his nissan rear ended someone last week, as if the vehicle was driving itself!
Rob H (2009-10-22 09:31:14)
Just found this site, absolutely amazing... laughing at others misfortune and stupidity! this is the funniest one i have read so far... love the picture you sent back!
ur sovein (2009-10-21 02:17:47)
What an asshole
The CC (2009-10-20 19:29:09)
You never disappoint! Keep it up. I can't wait for you to post new material. TheConstantComplainer.com
preton (2009-10-20 18:09:08)
should have done it to a dude you would have argued for longer
WMS (2009-10-20 13:50:00)
GENIUS!!!! PURE GENIUS!!! XD
SwinginRichard (2009-10-20 02:14:38)
I laughed so hard I farted, and then I spewed from the smell. man I need to shove an altoid up my ass or something
Jesus Christ (2009-10-19 19:17:48)
I love this...
darren (the gun) sal (2009-10-19 18:35:18)
i don't get it. was the headlight fluid needing to be replaced or not?
@@FAKE (2009-10-18 23:51:21)
FAKE exposed a hoax with a convincing logical analysis. There is a lot of disinformation on the innernets. I wish FAKE was here for me before I accepted MJ's sleepover invitation when I was seven. Now, I can't get "Beat It" out of my head.
Jared Markham (2009-10-18 22:18:57)
hey ImABlackGuy dont laugh at my small penis, we werent all born normally.
ImABlackGuy (2009-10-18 15:06:12)
Jared Markham (2009-10-18 02:21:45)
oh thats funnny, almost as funny when I found out my penis was only 8cm
D U N K A N (2009-10-17 20:56:46)
So wats ever1 dressin up for Halloweene this year? My mom kut sum wholes in a sheet for me so i can be a racist, i meen a gohst.
@FAKE (2009-10-17 20:47:18)
WHAO, YOU SURE ARE A FUCKING SHARP ONE THERE CAPTAIN OBVIOUS.
kaylur (2009-10-17 18:09:40)
lmfao. i pretty much died of laughter at the picture.
bicykel.com (2009-10-16 09:48:41)
This is great. Mechanis to asshole.. truly great..
meeee (2009-10-16 00:12:25)
this was the definitely your funniest in a long time... man i hope its real cuz that was great
lolz (2009-10-15 23:27:27)
dude this is the funniest shit i ever seen, all of ur emails.
keep it up , do it for the lawlz.
FAKE (2009-10-15 18:50:31)
Whoever posted below as "Michael Jackson" is NOT the real Michael Jackson. Because the real MJ died months ago. So who do you think you're fooling, faker?
Michael Jackson (2009-10-15 17:42:14)
I don't care (2009-10-15 15:27:45)
Muffler bearings are damaged as well.
Update!! (2009-10-15 15:15:59)
Time to Update!!!
Sir (2009-10-15 12:47:16)
It's been over a week.please update.
owner of this site (2009-10-15 10:58:29)
i liek being gay bro
Dave (2009-10-15 06:08:09)
8 days since your last update? WTF? I need more mofo
DumbBroad (2009-10-15 00:05:12)
Best post yet.
dunkan (2009-10-14 19:00:33)
dunkan, you are dumb
Duncan (2009-10-14 12:21:16)
Why does everyone keep pretending to be me, I didn't do anything to deserve this abuse :(
But that email was hilarious, she didn't know much about cars, so you kept lieing to her about the damage, lol.
JB (2009-10-14 11:01:06)
Laughing my ASS off!!! WOW!!! LOVED IT!!!
Puncan (2009-10-13 13:57:08)
I just wanted to show you my autumnal name.
Psst... it's Duncan.
Happy Halloween, everyone.
nacnud (2009-10-13 13:53:41)
It also looks as if the spokes on the tire are bent. I wonder if he's able to fix that.
SoPhreak (2009-10-13 09:21:04)
No. A restraining order prevents me from returning, but I still know they think I'm nuts.
soPhreakingInsane (2009-10-13 07:47:35)
@soPhreakingFunny: So they fired you two years ago but you're still sitting in their office. What did you do, glue yourself to the office chair?
Serious Cont'd (2009-10-13 06:23:22)
laugh is not your last one.
soPhreakingFunny (2009-10-13 06:03:20)
Am laughing so hard. The people in the office must think I'm nuts. In fact, that's pretty much what they told me when they fired me two years ago.
amy (2009-10-12 22:30:31)
Marry me!!! you are hilarious!
anonymous (2009-10-12 19:55:02)
Derb (2009-10-12 19:47:16)
Great one, so many angles: Probably blond based on the facts (and accident), if she was texting during the crash there is an additional fee, sexual favors as payment, the angle of the crash suggests make-up application at the moment of impact... you took
Ravelock (2009-10-12 17:38:36)
Now that's quality!
Rich (2009-10-12 16:35:33)
Extra points for getting her to actually call you an asshole.
Nacnud (2009-10-12 15:30:10)
my name is duncan
malmal (2009-10-12 15:29:52)
Holy shit u r incredible I seriously can't breath. I just read It to my patient who is so hopped up on nitrous I think he may be dead. Hmm no worries though at least he won't be awake while I extract his wisdom teeth. Silver lining right?
Mike the Mechanic (2009-10-12 11:49:15)
Don't insult European cars. You guys can only dream of driving a car like a BMW or a Mercedes, beautiful and complete with fully functional headlight fluid pumps.
matt c (2009-10-12 11:12:31)
mike the mechanic do you know Eugine?? p.s you are a douchtard.
anonymous (2009-10-12 11:03:20)
maybe for your eurotrash cars that nobody drives anyway, asshole
Mike the Mechanic (2009-10-12 08:50:32)
I'm a mechanic in a European car repair shop and you guys are fucking morons. There IS such a thing as a headlight fluid pump, and it's indeed pretty expensive. So this lady's reaction is not as silly as you seem to think.
Hudson (2009-10-11 23:10:26)
Hahahaha, it wouldn't cost that much to replace the fluid pump which is made up anyway.
Beau Nuss (2009-10-11 11:47:11)
I can't believe she wasn't willing to post bail if you got caught stealing her a new headlight fluid pump. What an absolute cunt. I'd like to pull out my wartcock and slap her across the grill with it.
Minna (2009-10-11 10:24:36)
i love that picture. LOL and the arrow. hahahahaha
@toot (2009-10-11 09:50:10)
My high school nurse actually did leak headlight fluid. Many women who are nursing do.
2_2Joke'sOnYou (2009-10-11 09:47:48)
I'm sorry you don't appreciate my post. Perhaps intelligent people like you already know European cars have headlight fluid, but less informed readers deserve to know.
anonymous (2009-10-11 02:10:44)
HAHAHA....That was hillarious. And the auto center must have gone histerical too. I loved BobForapples's comment on this too:
BobForapples (2009-10-09 11:27:03)
I see nothing wrong with this. Just yesterday I changed the gas tank wiper blades in
Frank (2009-10-10 23:16:27)
Gee... someone who can be talked into believing there's a "headlight fluid pump" rear-ended someone? NO WAY!!! Dumb broad.
limpdick (2009-10-10 21:03:49)
Hey Doug Stanhope is a big fan of yours, dunno if you know that or not.
SWARDSON (2009-10-10 21:01:27)
I like how "the car" rearended someone, not her.
Kristen (2009-10-10 20:44:00)
I guess I am never getting my car fixed! ASSHOLE
Leeta (2009-10-10 19:37:13)
Oh My, "they were laughing".... so am I. Headlight fluid, too frigging funny.
... (2009-10-10 19:32:08)
LOL, best one yet.
kofi (2009-10-10 15:04:45)
BJ (2009-10-10 13:59:04)
ahahahaha! that was almost too funny! headline fluid, haha, can't stop laughing
Huni (2009-10-10 09:34:35)
this is possibly the greatest website of all time....
Allah (2009-10-10 03:40:19)
to TPB....you infidel you shall burn in the fires of hell
TPB (2009-10-10 01:36:42)
Just wait for Karma to return to this guy.
Clint (2009-10-09 22:38:34)
I am in tears. Great photoshop job!
Rc (2009-10-09 18:07:35)
anonymous (2009-10-09 16:54:37)
Headlight fluid pump is my new favorite thing ever. I'm asking my mechanic to check it next time i get inspected
JK (2009-10-09 15:57:45)
"headlight fluid pump", ahahah, you perv
Mechanic (2009-10-09 15:38:30)
That's some awesome shit right there. Just remember that blinker fluid and headlight fluid are not interchangeable. Also the radiator core heater looked like it might have been damaged.
bmoney215 (2009-10-09 15:29:27)
i love the crappy photoshopping, this is another classic. Keep sending people ridiculous photos
GRACIANO (2009-10-09 14:53:36)
GODDAMN THAT SHIT WUZ FUNNY, I WAS LAUGHING SO LOUD....AJAJAJA THE BITCH CALLED AN AUTO CENTER,,, YOU COUDA LITERLY CHARGED HER 900 BUX AND THE DUMB BITCH WOULDA THOUGHT IT WUZ A DEAL....
toot (2009-10-09 14:31:28)
We used to use that as an excuse back in high school as to why we were late. We would say our cars were leaking headlight fluid. Best part is the high school nurse bought it.
2jokesonyou (2009-10-09 13:54:57)
u shouldn't be on this site since u have no sense of humor. Go join the debate club.
Matt C (2009-10-09 11:57:19)
thats a serious leak i cant beleive she passed this offer up!!! id have paid double!!
BobForapples (2009-10-09 11:27:03)
I see nothing wrong with this. Just yesterday I changed the gas tank wiper blades in my '76 Gremlin and now she runs smooth as silk. P-ssies!
swanny (2009-10-09 11:14:43)
haha the picture is good....
Jeff (2009-10-09 10:50:42)
Everybody in the office is staring at me cause I'm laughing my ass off! Great one!
bhear (2009-10-09 10:09:39)
hahahaha...sooo funny! :)
keep going, ill check your website everyday!
trini (2009-10-09 09:08:02)
anonymous (2009-10-09 06:40:50)
"I just called the auto center and they said there is no such thing as a headlight fluid pump...or headlight fluid...they were laughing..." WOW!
Stephen (2009-10-09 06:37:25)
headlight fluid. haha
lol (2009-10-09 06:36:48)
lol cant stop laught with that picture hahahah
cheezestick (2009-10-08 21:02:43)
definatley had to do a double take on the headlight fluid good thing you included it mulitple times or i would have missed it
cmuff (2009-10-08 20:32:47)
I was waiting for you to accuse her of a hit & run, but obviously you still pulled off another awesome post.
Hudson (2009-10-08 20:01:47)
some of you faggots need to stop correcting people youre not fucking smart just laugh at the shit or go do something else. fuck youre gay.
Annie (2009-10-08 19:23:53)
Head light fluid pump... Wow. One of my favorite posts ever. Great job sir! :-)
o (2009-10-08 18:40:09)
Repesin! Yks parhaista mutta oikeesti vitun tyhmä muija!
mr goodwrench (2009-10-08 18:09:15)
it's against the law to give auto advise over the internet.
jennieinphilly (2009-10-08 17:57:48)
I luv yr site...how do u come up with such great shit! Keeps me laughing!
Jeff (2009-10-08 17:52:14)
Nice. However you forgot to talk about how "women shouldn't be driving". It would have fit perfectly for a situation like that, especially after she got mad.
SoWhat (2009-10-08 17:27:05)
"....many European automobiles do use liquified electro-illuminators." That might be marginally relevant (if even true) if Nissan made European automobiles?
doc (2009-10-08 16:05:59)
BMW Owner (2009-10-08 14:41:43)
My BMW's liquified electro-illuminators are not working. I beleive I need an headlight fluid pump
joke'sOnYou (2009-10-08 14:27:56)
Actually, many European automobiles do use liquified electro-illuminators. Educate yourselves before being so quick to laugh at others.
dogzilla (2009-10-08 13:55:22)
Too funny! I love it! I can just hear the guys at the garage laughing over that one!
fosale (2009-10-08 13:53:41)
I really do have a 98 Nissan I'd like to sell. It's a hybrid and comes with a bodyguard. Big screen TV included in the back seat. Check it out at autos.cockblockers.consforkids
CriticalBoe (2009-10-08 13:16:37)
I have a 1998 nissan that rear ended someone last week.
FOR REAL? SHE CANT FESS UP AND ADMIT "SHE" REAR ENDED SOMEONE?
.... I HAVE CAR, AND IT REAR ENDED SOMEONE....
SHUT UP B!TCH.
CriticalBoe (2009-10-08 13:13:26)
The exact reason I GO WITH MY GIRL, when a real decision needs to be made.
common sense does'nt come easy for women.
To Russ and his body (2009-10-08 12:29:54)
That's called having a VAG, gaydo!!!!
D*nc*n (2009-10-08 12:26:09)
Who am I? Who am I? I bet nobody can explain THIS one.
Rob (2009-10-08 12:22:01)
This one was great. I did lol.
anonymous (2009-10-08 12:05:39)
wtf how is that a red vs blue reference? its a common mechanic's joke, red vs blue didnt come up with it
B (2009-10-08 11:46:09)
Red vs. Blue reference for the win!
DG (2009-10-08 11:34:43)
amazing this was one of the best i have seen
me (2009-10-08 11:22:12)
NOLA Girl (2009-10-08 10:05:38)
LMAO! She called the repair shop!!!!! Classic!!
Danno (2009-10-08 09:48:06)
Will you guys stop busting his balls to post more? This is artistry. It takes time to find such morons and string them along so craftily. I am sure that the average turnaround time on these posts is about 4-7 days.
anonymous (2009-10-08 09:13:46)
ROFLCOPTER!! Nice photoshopping! :)
Russ's Teacher (2009-10-08 09:09:40)
Russ as your community college advisor I must commend your use of Pragmatic! Now go buy a fucking t-shirt asshole.
Russ (2009-10-08 08:55:28)
It's a lot funnier when you harass people whose ads are unusual and already stretching the bounds of common sense. This ad was pragmatic and her responses made sense...find better prey next time.
skywalker (2009-10-08 06:54:20)
ineedabmwx5 (2009-10-08 02:32:13)
hahaha, it was sooo funnY!!!
2nd best (2009-10-08 00:06:43)
I still think that the Shaniqua Chronicles with Jurassic Park was the best. Windows Paint makes these both hilarious!!!
anonymous (2009-10-07 23:47:46)
perfect ex of the headlight fluid! lololol loved the tranny exploding part too. this is soo funny!
Jennifer (2009-10-07 22:18:42)
LOL you definitely didn't disappoint!
Dumb Blonde (2009-10-07 20:51:12)
Oh no! My headlight pump is busted, how much do they cost to repair??? Anyone???
Mac (2009-10-07 20:30:57)
honey (2009-10-07 18:21:09)
How did she know your name was Ass Hole? First name ass: lastname hole
dude, thanks for clearing that up, i totally didnt get your lameass joke without your explanation
Justin (2009-10-07 20:17:42)
That picture is priceless! "I pointed it out in the attachment, it is what the red arrow is pointing to. You can see it leaking from the headlight." Hilarious
putty (2009-10-07 18:34:26)
fucking great. what a dumb broad!
Allah (2009-10-07 18:25:42)
"there is no such thing as a headlight fluid pump...or headlight fluid...they were laughing..." HAHAHAHA Funny it was!!!
steven seagal (2009-10-07 18:23:32)
epic. one of your best yet. keep up the good work phan!
honey (2009-10-07 18:21:09)
How did she know your name was Ass Hole? First name ass: lastname hole
DER Fan (2009-10-07 17:51:53)
The guys at the auto store she called are probably still rolling on the floor.
chink (2009-10-07 17:48:01)
aln (2009-10-07 17:46:51)
gave a good laugh
Fartsuck (2009-10-07 17:46:29)
This makes me and my friends mom laugh hard.
TriscuitMan (2009-10-07 17:45:44)
I thought asshole was one word? Ass hole, asshole? thoughts?
Jackmeoffhard (2009-10-07 17:45:16)
Hahaha. I love these posts. This guy is truly a genious.
anonymous (2009-10-07 17:44:53)
Oh the old headlight fluid joke... Doesn't get any better.
Cryo (2009-10-07 17:35:31)
Lol at the picture
statto (2009-10-07 17:18:10)
I like the "You can see it leaking from the headlight." part! great!
Captain (2009-10-07 17:03:54)
I love it. She believed in headlight fluid. classic.
schlomo (2009-10-07 16:52:50)
Gee thanks! That mouthful of hot tea felt awesome being catapulted through my nostril. Hilarious!!
anonymous (2009-10-07 16:45:03)
She'll be sorry...oh well.
ROFL (2009-10-07 16:29:09)
stupid, stupid chick!
Laila (2009-10-07 16:10:32)
This is hilarious!!
lilvanilla (2009-10-07 16:09:16)
is she blonde...great one...
Rubberduck (2009-10-07 15:48:04)
While she's out getting headlight fluid she should pick up some elbow grease too.
Best one (2009-10-07 15:39:30)
zz (2009-10-07 15:24:33)
ahahahaa loved the junkyard part!
Frank in Delaware (2009-10-07 15:06:59)
Awww, it looks like her car is crying antifreeze.
Aurora B. (2009-10-07 14:38:59)
Oh. My. God. This one had me cracking up. Thanks for making it easier to get through the work day.
Missy (2009-10-07 14:34:13)
This is by far the best post I have read! She actually called an auto parts store. Awesome!
David (2009-10-07 14:08:03)
RSS Feed didnt work :(
Mark Timpone (2009-10-07 14:05:36)
Girls are stupid
Jackie! (2009-10-07 14:05:03)
i truly look forward to reading these.
ll (2009-10-07 13:38:07)
Can't stop laughing.
tennessee tophat (2009-10-07 13:29:40)
C.r.e.a.m (2009-10-07 13:20:42)
Fsu, you sound gay. Maybe you like long drives to Tuscany with your boy toy but not on here.
FSU (2009-10-07 13:03:02)
God dammit, this is golden...HA!
Mohammed (2009-10-07 13:00:08)
My Cammel need about $2,300 in repairs. Interested?
jdirt (2009-10-07 12:32:00)
Fake or not, keeps me entertained at "work"
Zebra (2009-10-07 12:25:24)
Wow, she was okay with him stealing the parts!
Obviously "duh"... headlight fluid pump. What does she think lightbulbs are for?! Too stupid to be driving!
boseDK (2009-10-07 12:21:21)
Andrew (2009-10-07 12:09:54)
By far the best one yet.
Chuck (2009-10-07 11:46:00)
OMFG!!! I loved the doctored picture!!!
GOURS LIGHT (2009-10-07 11:43:58)
can we make this daily? its too good to only be once or twice a week
fake.. (2009-10-07 11:43:47)
"I just called the auto center and they said there is no such thing as a headlight fluid pump...or headlight fluid...they were laughing..." that line's too perfect not to be staged
Schnip (2009-10-07 11:41:11)
I like the RvB headlight fluid reference!
Dave (2009-10-07 11:38:22)
Always good. Love this shit.
Asshole (2009-10-07 11:35:19)
zupht (2009-10-07 11:34:49)
haha there needs to be more than one of these posts per day...epic
makc (2009-10-07 11:30:09)
healdight *liquid... cough
makc (2009-10-07 11:29:33)
that headlight is glowing green, must be radioactive or something.
PJ (2009-10-07 11:24:29)
Picture is great!!!!
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