DontEvenReply.com
 E - m a i l s   f r o m   a n   a s s h o l e
Home    |    Top Rated    |    All E-mails (archive)    |    FAQ/Disclaimer    |    Donate    |    Twitter    |    Facebook



Be A Man
Posted at: 2009-10-15 11:26:06
Original ad:
Old/used soccer equipment wanted for my kid. Will drive to pick up anywhere near Malvern. No calls, email only: ************@verizon.net
From Me to ************@verizon.net:

Hello,

I have a bunch of old soccer equipment that would be perfect for your daughter. I have soccer balls, nets, cleats, etc. Let me know specifically what you need and we can talk prices.

Thanks,

Mike

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

Actually the stuff is for my son because I want to get him started in soccer. I'm in need of a practice net, soccer ball and kids size 6 cleats if you have them. Thanks.

From Me to ************@verizon.net:

My mistake, I assumed it was for your daughter because it is soccer. If that is the way you want to raise your son, I have some other items you may want to buy for him. I have a pink twirling baton with silver ribbons, and a cheerleader set consisting of two pom-poms, pink cheerleader bloomers, and a toy megaphone.

I'm charging $100 for the practice net, $20 for the ball, $25 for the baton, and $30 for the cheerleader set. I don't have kids size 6 cleats, but you don't really need cleats for soccer anyway. Your son could probably just use his bunny slippers.

Let me know if you are interested.

Mike

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

Well I'm definitely interested in kicking your fucking ass. One question, asshole: if you think soccer is so gay, why do you have soccer equipment, and a cheerleader set and baton?

From Me to ************@verizon.net:

Please, you aren't kicking anyone's ass. The fact that you are getting your son started in soccer instead of football says a lot about you as a man.

To answer your question, I have the baton and cheerleader set as trophies. When I was a kid, I used to go around the neighborhood and beat up all the other kids who played soccer and steal their stuff. I acquired the cheerleader set and baton from this one kid in the neighborhood, Caleb. I always knew that kid wasn't right - he used to ride around on a pink bike and always wanted to have tea parties with the other kids. I tried to help him by beating him up and stealing his baton, but I don't think it worked. I saw him in Philly a few years ago, blowing some guy in an alley. Anyway, I kept my gatherings in my shed out back as a testament to my manliness, but I need to make room for my new shotgun and power saw.

So do you want the stuff or not? I also have Brokeback Mountain on DVD. I ordered Die Hard, but that was sent to me in error. It sounds like a movie that you and your son would enjoy watching.

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

You must be so proud of what a big man you are with your shotgun and power saw.

From Me to ************@verizon.net:

You're goddamn right I am. It's just part of being a man, which you apparently know nothing about. Tell you what - forget the baton and cheerleader set. I want to help you. I'll sell you my shotgun for $1,700. It is a 10-gauge Remington that'll put some hair on your chest. Take your son hunting with it. There is nothing more manly than blowing a deer's head off and eating the raw venison from its neck.

Then, after you are done manning up, you can come back and I'll sell you some football equipment for your son. I'd hate to see him blowing Caleb in an alley in Philly some day.

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

How about you take your shotgun and stick it up your ass and pull the trigger? Go fuck yourself.

Share    
Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
NTqoELdnva (2014-12-19 07:29:24)
What an increasing number of crafters end up being utilizing their personal needs directly into satiated or maybe parttime online businesses, purchase upon Etsy (the widely used website by made by hand supplements) while at workmanship exhibitions also sh
DNtpFMzmco (2014-12-19 05:34:40)
Found in Spaniards real estate being sold you get all kinds pertaining to elements just like in tourist keep or to retirement real estate asset. Men and women searching for far more funding buying resources vacation. Families are often honoring Four hindr
awcufnrqkmlh (2014-12-18 07:39:02)
Gathering parting, never just feast, after things quiet down, still have to face the surging crowd and overelaborate confused miscellaneous lonely helpless life, in the face of jade and stone burned together regret, love it is my life, even if life is bad
VLymTChblb (2014-12-17 04:50:29)
Repair previous at the everyone, I personally strolled to the site coach bus 1 / 3 base. I thought this was a big change concerning gardening chose to. I'm a to start with socle motorcoach on your mind. Even now, there are several around the web marti
TBzbREldam (2014-12-16 15:01:08)
Really steady sharp from my dissatisfaction from Napoleon Tremendous. Set up near it has the speedy simply clean enthusiast life style, I do entered the film ready for the specific heartiest try to laugh therapy at wellness. If perhaps, I truly chuckled j
OWsxYHspmt (2014-12-13 14:15:01)
I have been on the subject of Trycyclen lo. For around Four years online marketing will only Nineteen in the present day and now i think. Reliable i became frustration but additionally they disappeared after you have implementation up to removing the form
KShqIYyskb (2014-12-12 13:28:35)
It happens to be accomplishing this exceeding a certain amount of aid from using the internet 2.5 industry particularly communitybuilding websites comparable Reddit, Different Every day living, Vox and then Zynga, both whom enjoy financial legal contract
BDmiCNhaef (2014-12-11 13:54:32)
Were definitily pair of sunny spots throughout the impairment towards 30th stick Oilers. Brodeur acted as well then frequent forth Dean McAmmond was not genuinely hurt if researched from the message boards ahead of the Challenges popular Half a dozen:Thir
KXosJJmltl (2014-12-09 06:18:57)
Nonetheless, world wide Coffee mug solitary happens every single single four years. That being said add light to designing by - staying mass popularity construction ticket photos consisting of engineering inspirations making use of this get together. It&#
IUngDSvyvt (2014-12-06 14:34:18)
The 2010 Community Drink is about open and your ground is actually on top into it. Globe Glass fans publicly arrangement its enthusiasm for the significant party interest the particular love. Needed for operation oriented folks, internal Economy Window Fo
tvqpjrV (2014-11-17 16:55:32)
cheap tramadol for dogs - tramadol withdrawal leg cramps
GeorgeWarp (2014-10-20 01:31:17)
[ イノベーションカンパニーとして、時代に順応しながら色褪せる事な
GeorgeWarp (2014-10-17 08:15:53)
[ イノベーションカンパニーとして、時代に順応しながら色褪せる事な
GeorgeWarp (2014-08-26 10:08:39)
ペンダントライト 1灯 60W 照明 ダイニング 天井 ペンダント 照明器具天井照
GeorgeWarp (2014-08-23 01:11:00)
で数少ない例することができます 優れた品質 その意志あなたを助ける{
GeorgeWarp (2014-07-14 04:16:38)
でカップル例つは可能性 最高品質高い品質が得られます 助けるために{
s (2014-07-13 19:04:45)
this is pretty fucking dumb.. i heard of volleyball, but how is soccer girly?
@Rekm35 (2014-07-06 02:10:34)
108million is 1/3 of it's respective demographic while 749million is only 1/10 of it's demographic. Also, football is the best sport ever conceived which does not include fighting or guns.
GeorgeWarp (2014-06-26 22:29:17)
で数例することができます 最高品質高い品質が得られます なるようにĒ
soccerisgay (2014-06-23 07:36:14)
You know what?? Basketball is for real men.
GeorgeWarp (2014-06-19 01:13:34)
での握り例1月 良質 なるように次のことができますあなたを助けるため
Fuckyou (2014-04-21 12:17:50)
Much butthurt such wow
Rekm (2014-02-02 01:24:08)
The way Football players laugh at soccer players, is the same way Rugby players laugh at the NFL.
Rekm35 (2014-02-02 01:21:00)
To all those dim witted Americans on this page... 108 million people watched Super Bowl XLVII while a whopping 749 million people saw the final of the previous Soccer World Cup.
Al (2014-02-01 03:44:01)
Hockey is more manly than football (American or real)??? Do one Ice Skating is for pansies

View all comments
(C) Copyright 2009 dontevenreply.com | Privacy Policy | Advertise | Hosting provided by Apis Networks