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Horse Farm
Posted at: 2009-07-14 15:12:55
Original ad:
I am a 18 year old looking for a summer job. it is hard for me to find work and I just want a job so I can afford a car for college next summer. I can clean, babysit, answer phones, pretty much whatever as long as it pays!!
From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.org
Hey,

I saw your ad looking for work and I think I have a job for you! I am looking for an assistant on my farm for the summer. It will involve working outdoors. Let me know if you are interested.

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
Hi Mike! I am interested in your job! I love animals and used to ride horses so a farm would be great! what kind of work would I be doing, and where is your farm located? it needs to be close to ******** so my parents can drop me off and pick meup

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie,

It is very close to **********. I'm glad to hear you are familiar with horses, because you will be primarily working with horses.

My farm gets all the old horses that other farms don't need anymore, and they are starting to take up a lot of room in my stable, which I want to turn into a garage for my new truck. Therefore, the horses need to go. As my assistant, you will be in charge of killing the horses and dumping them in the lake behind my farm.

I used to have a captive bolt pistol (cattle gun) that I used to put them down, but it broke when I tried to use it to tap a keg. You'll probably have to use my 12-gauge shotgun to put them down. Sometimes they don't die right away when you shoot them, and will start freaking out. You just have to stay calm and keep shooting. Don't worry, I'll show you how to use the shotgun if you aren't familiar with one.

You then need to use my chainsaw to cut the horses into smaller parts that you can carry down to the lake. It can get a little messy, so I suggest wearing some clothes that you don't care about, or some clothes that the horse blood would compliment.

The lake isn't mine, it is my neighbor's. He gets kind of angry when he sees me dumping dead horses in his lake, so you have to make sure he isn't around when you do it. I have some cinderblocks you can use to weigh the horses down so he won't see them.

I have a lot of horses, and each horse takes about an hour and a half to dispose of, so you should have plenty of work. The job will pay $15 an hour. When can you start?

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
omg that is HORRIBLE! That is truely awful and sick!! Why cant you just give the poor horses away? sorry but I am not helping you slaughter horses!!!

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie,

I'm sorry if you are a bit surprised, but this is how farms work. You can't give away old horses, you have to kill them. I thought about it, and if you don't want to use the chainsaw to cut up the horses, you can just use my truck to drag them down to the lake. Do you have your license or permit? If not, this could be good driving practice for you. You don't want to pass up on this great job opportunity.

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
No that is not how farms work you are just SICK! I am NOT interested

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie you are going to regret this some day when you try to get a real job. I think this would look great on your resume.
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Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
Anonymous (2013-05-26 02:27:28)
Am I evil for wanting to do this? Too many shooting games.
Emairmmab (2013-05-11 21:56:06)
Intéresser le fisc et lire l'intégralité de la confié ma volonté de modèles de la nation pomme de terre au ah! Avis nous vrai qu?il les avait an le mars j'exprimais allons! Toujours hors du salaires auront baissé
The Swede (2013-05-09 19:28:01)
Now, that's how IKEA meatballs are made... Horses are yummy :D
Rob (2013-05-08 19:57:42)
What?
Tim (2013-04-20 04:34:55)
s my assistant, you will be in charge of killing the horses and dumping them in the lake behind my farm. Absolutely lost it at this point. Awesome stuff
Javier (2013-04-06 18:21:46)
hahahahahahaahha, awesome!
Tommy (2013-04-06 03:40:02)
@Helpful Information: Yeah like germans and french eats shitty food from USA...Get the fuck out of here.
Esposito rrbz (2013-04-01 13:21:22)
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George V fp (2013-03-31 13:33:43)
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Lem qnl (2013-03-28 02:20:24)
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Helpful Information (2013-03-27 10:51:07)
Actually you can give away old horses. They slaughter them for dog food and if the horse meets standards even for human consumption to ship to Germany or France.
IKEA (2013-03-23 18:48:30)
Are the horses still available?
DurtyBird (2013-03-14 23:39:45)
I thought she was gonna get paid to fuck the horses. :(
Mitt Romney (2013-03-14 23:37:59)
I eat out dead horses for breakfast!
Paula (2013-02-13 05:07:08)
David thorne...I love you.....this dude has nothing on ya,
TigerladyNZ (2013-02-06 21:42:13)
" i hope this site getts banned by the human societty!11!!!' Doubled up with the pain of so much laughter. Thanks Mike and califrnia gurrlll
Chris (2013-01-24 23:18:40)
I think this would look grreat on your resume
Ha! (2013-01-21 00:28:14)
Oh god that's freaking hilarious. I'm crying laughing.
someguy (2013-01-19 19:40:28)
man 15 an hour that's good for an 18 year old I would have took it just for that
Dan (2013-01-18 14:13:37)
Too bad this isn't about the Jews
Tim c (2013-01-11 02:29:25)
Ill take the job. $15 an hour is sweet. I have to stock groceries at a grocery store. I'd much rather slaughter horses. But only if I can cook some and try it. Deal?
anonymous (2013-01-08 00:55:26)
Imagine how ecstatic she was at first when she read, "you will be primarily working with horses."
petiesrevenge (2012-12-08 10:41:08)
Lol this is great stuff. To the people going on about this is why this country suck........ you fucking suck. Ass shats like urself that insult and dog MY country are the reason its not where you want it. Dont like then move to ome third world shit hole
Joe (2012-12-05 03:30:10)
These are great!
BL (2012-11-19 15:31:11)
GEE US A BLOWIE?

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