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"Special" Wife
Posted at: 2009-07-24 00:36:34
Original ad:
I need the help of a drywall expert to repair a large hole in our hallway wall. The hole is about three feet wide. You will need to bring all materials needed, but I will cover the cost. I can send pictures of the hole if requested.

Please respond with availability and a reasonable rate.
From Me to *************@*********.org

Hey,

I saw your ad and will be able to help you out. The best thing to do for dry wall holes is to tape over the entire hole with strips of duct tape, and then paint over the duct tape. If you have wallpaper, I could just put wallpaper over the hole. That would be even easier. After the repair, nobody should lean up on the wall or it will probably tear again. I suggest hanging a picture over the hole. I have some old framed pictures of Bon Jovi that I could bring and install over the hole.

I am available all week, and my rate is $25/hr. When can I stop by?

-Dan

From Brittany ********* to Me

Hi Dan! Thanks for the quick response. Sounds good! I will forward this e-mail to my husband and he'll get back to you ASAP.
Thanks!
Brit

From Bryan ********* to Me
Dan,

My wife sent me your email, but I don't think she actually read/understood what you wrote. If you are serious, then we don't need your help. I hope that isn't how you actually repair things. Regardless, I will tell my wife to actually read the emails before sending them to me.

Regards,

Bryan

From Me to Bryan **********

Good afternoon Brian,

Your wife doesn't sound too smart. I was going to recommend Hooked on Phonics, but she seems to be capable of writing. I think she just does not have the ability to comprehend what she is reading. I have a cousin who is "slow", and there is this really good remedial school in Philly that he went to. They offer some classes that help with reading comprehension. If you want, I can look up the school and send the information to your wife.

- Dan

From Bryan ********* to Me

Heh heh, that might be just what she needs...

From Me to Bryan **********
CC: Brittany *********


Great! I'm forwarding our conversation to your wife, along with the school information.

The name of the school is "Smithbridge School for Special People," and you can call them at (***)-***-2195.

From Bryan ********* to Me

Oh boy...please don't...

From Brittany ********* to Me

What a jerk you are. Excuse me for being busy and quickly browsing through your letter. Go to hell!

From Me to Brittany *********

Brit, you should really consider this school. It might not seem like it, but they actually can help you. It did wonders for my cousin. He used to just stay at home with his aunt all day, but now he has a great job at McDonalds. Please, just give them a call.

-Dan
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Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
klob (2010-08-04 13:02:22)
haha "Hooked on Phonics."
roro (2010-07-24 23:23:21)
you my friend are most definitely a genius. i dont know how you do it but all of these just seem to plan out exactly the way you want them to. its amazing
Feminissimo (2010-07-21 21:34:50)
I, envy you. Your blog is much better under the maintenance and design than mine. Who to you the design did?
Serhat (2010-07-21 20:34:05)
Mike, i never have laughed so much in my life like in the past few hours. Thats great stuff. Please keep it up!
r (2010-07-21 14:33:29)
"oh boy" lmao
cole (2010-07-20 15:08:19)
bon jovi u r 2 freakin much
Josh (2010-07-09 09:45:37)
I think she just loves Bon Jovi....=P...
Nicka J (2010-07-09 01:26:15)
haha I cant beleive the husband said that!!!! lol
sidesplit (2010-06-28 08:20:31)
Keep up the great work I literally can't breathe for laughing reading most of them! My fave is the garage sale woman who flattens babies!LMAO!
sidesplit (2010-06-28 08:19:09)
Either his literacy skills were as bad as his wifes or he married the wrong woman!
sidesplit (2010-06-28 08:18:29)
I love your page lol! I guess what the guy truly thought of his wife became crystal clear there huh! What an asshole! Most people would have been offended by what you wrote, it was so obviously insulting but he actually agreed with you! Either his literac
anonymous (2010-06-24 19:47:48)
And they divorced shorty thereafter....
Fahim (2010-06-21 04:24:58)
YOU GOTTA LOVE THE HUSBAND!!!! HAAHHAHA HE TOOK THE CROWN IN THIS ONE!!! LOL!!!!
Tiirediiyes (2010-06-15 09:08:50)
L O L this is teh sauce
anonymous (2010-06-14 15:56:28)
BRILLIANT
Juliana (2010-05-28 14:20:34)
BEST EVER.....
blackie (2010-05-21 01:26:06)
this is my all time favorite
Name (2010-05-03 20:30:14)
HAHAHA, this is fucking hilarious and sad at the same time!
jessica (2010-04-19 21:12:23)
he spelled bryan brian haha that was really funny, i feel sorry for the husband tho lmao
Person (2010-04-17 02:10:30)
"Heh heh, that might be just what she needs..." I knew right then that this guy was as good as screwed.
Matt (2010-04-15 23:27:55)
Three feet wide?!?
anonymous (2010-04-08 00:49:19)
maybe the hole in the wall was a gloryhole
Blarg (2010-04-05 18:33:58)
Lol, I love how in every conversation he acts all normal and then goes all wacko on them
xDx (2010-03-20 12:24:49)
Yeah, that girl right there is Oxford material.
Kate (2010-03-19 18:30:45)
I'd flip if my husband said that! So mean.

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