DontEvenReply.com
 E - m a i l s   f r o m   a n   a s s h o l e
Home    |    Top Rated    |    All E-mails (archive)    |    FAQ/Disclaimer    |    Donate    |    Twitter    |    Facebook



Free Couch
Posted at: 2009-09-25 14:37:58
Original ad:
I WANT YOUR COUCH
IF ANYONE HAS AN UNWANTED COUCH I CAN COME GET IT. WILL TRAVEL UP TO 20 MINUTES FROM CONSHOHOCKEN. PLEASE SEND PICTURES. THANKS
From Me to **********@*********.org:

Hi there! You can have my couch if you are still looking for one. Let me know! You can either e-mail me or call me.

Mike

From Juan ********* to Me:

HI MIKE

I STILL NEED YOUR COUCH.
HOW BIG IS IT?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PICTURES?
WHY DO YOU NOT WANT IT ANY MORE?

YOU DID NOT GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER SO I CANT CALL YOU.

From Me to Juan *********:

Juan,

The couch can seat three normal people, or two fat people. I don't have any pictures because my camera is broken (I didn't realize it was in the garbage disposal when I turned on the switch.)

I am getting rid of the couch because my grandfather passed away on it a few weeks ago. Every time I look at it, I am reminded of it, and I would rather it not be in my apartment anymore. Just give me a call and we can set up a time for you to come get it.

Mike

From Juan ********* to Me:

MIKE IS THE COUCH STILL IN GOOD CONDITION. YOU STILL DID NOT GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER.

From Me to Juan *********:

Juan,

The couch is still in very good condition. There are only a few minor blemishes, but you can't really notice them. There is a little bit of blood on the couch and a pool of blood on the middle cushion from when my grandfather shot himself. I tried cleaning it with club soda, but it had really soaked into the fabric by the time I found him. The blood dried though, and now it is kind of a brown-ish color that I think actually makes the couch look better. It is a brown couch anyway so you can't even notice it.

Mike

From Juan ********* to Me:

NO THANKS

From Me to Juan *********:

Why not? I thought we had a deal. Is it because of the blood? You can just turn the cushion over and nobody will have any idea.

From Juan ********* to Me:

THE COUCH IS COVERED IN BLOOD WHO WOULD WANT THAT?
GROSS!

From Me to Juan *********:

Don't put words in my mouth. I never said it was covered in blood - it just has a little blood here and there.

I did forget to mention, I believe my grandfather defecated on the couch when he died (the paramedics say it happens all the time.) I cleaned most of that up, but once again the couch is brown so you won't even notice it.

And this probably isn't a big deal, but he also had a cigar in his mouth and when he died it set part of the couch on fire. On the plus side, it did burn away some of the old urine stains that the couch had on it. The couch no longer smells like urine. It kind of smells like a barbecue, which is great if you love barbecues.

From Juan ********* to Me:

THAT COUCH IS FUCKED
THROW IT OUT!

From Me to Juan *********:

Why would you waste my time if you weren't going to take the couch? I'm sick of having to deal with people like you. I'm just trying to get rid of a decent couch, for free, and still people are wasting my time.

From Juan ********* to Me:

IF YOU TOLD ME UP FRONT THAT SOME ONE DIED AND SHIT ALL OVER YUOR COUCH THAN I WOULNT HAVE WASTED ANY MORE OF YOUR TIME!!
DONT YOU SPIN THIS ON ME BY TELING ME THE COUCH LOOKS GOOD WITH BLOOD OR SMELLS LIKE A BBQ. WHO THE FUCK WANTS A COUCCH THAT SMELLS LIKE BBQ IF I WANTED TO SMELL BBQ I WOULD BUY A FUCKING GRILL

From Me to Juan *********:

Would you be interested in the grill I am selling then? It is a CharCooker 500 and has three burners. Two of them don't work because my grandfather shot at the grill when he was drunk, but the middle burner still cooks food really well. I'm asking $400 for it, and for you, I'll throw in a couch for free.

From Juan ********* to Me:

I DONT WANT YOUR USELESS SHIT GUY!!!!
Share    
Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
leojntmxakezho (2014-09-23 03:48:01)
不用意に触れないように気をつけながら、隣の彼の身長に想像を巡らせ
jltyuawkdjeeuv (2014-09-23 01:10:53)
観光客なども多い、チャイナタウン近くのメインストリート(George casual)を歩い
pwjcnqdbmqzyzm (2014-09-22 18:04:33)
確かに不審な報告だが、それだけで殿下が近衛隊を集めて調べるような
opopcausyskuxu (2014-09-22 14:50:25)
花道はないが、勘三郎さんがいたら、劇場の隅々までみて、満足した笑
xlwbpvpbqosqpx (2014-09-22 13:42:09)
But nevertheless, As is actually through the snaps onto routine post, Vocalist occasional presenter who currently is glancing in Battleship missed your girl's tee entirely, As an alternative choosing a revealing in addition, lacey benjoyeau topmost ha
psqpogdbcpuvuf (2014-09-22 12:49:56)
Why is you assume twenty first century the country is always different? Do what they are called created by chinese suppliers, Brazilian and in addition of asia one thinks of as our egoistic abusers exist fast paced consuming the u s of a's middle-clas
vlhgsgqvcrxfbe (2014-09-22 12:30:29)
もしスペースがあって、あなたの印象がよければうまくいくかもしれま
mtlunsvtulgpzs (2014-09-22 11:00:23)
コラボアクセサリーを身に着けてRAINBOW PANCAKEにご来店頂いたお客様にはいつで
qqxaoylzzuhsuh (2014-09-22 06:15:17)
大気は不純物を大量に含み、どこかの製造現場にいるかのようである。
qjgliwgfjbdhbe (2014-09-22 05:58:53)
プレミアム版には懐中電灯機能が付いていて、無料版で表示される広告
ppiuzbfirmrjiq (2014-09-22 04:13:58)
要約すればこんな感じです私は今2人の子どもの子育て中です今月は二ߟ
cvivynotkrwyju (2014-09-21 12:41:07)
完全無料のBSテレビ局・Dlife(ディーライフ/チャンネル番号:BS258)は、チョ&#
lgxpwxmzokuebm (2014-09-21 10:43:51)
In an occasion when fellas hobby your old watches silver sterling silver necklaces, Earrings and as a result jewellery, Professional impressive if controll by his own to somewhat of a traditionalistic pay attention to, A strap and possibly an individual&#
usczutixbcithc (2014-09-21 02:30:01)
しかも価格はかなり高めなのですが、食べると価格のことなどどうでも
ykugvnpbhgljmw (2014-09-20 23:07:58)
お茶やコーヒー、ジャム、お菓子やさまざまな調味料を取り揃えており
nvlwcxqcigxpyo (2014-09-20 10:31:01)
作曲やレコーディングはもちろんのこと、高音質な音楽を楽しみたい時
ieejibfceznaxx (2014-09-20 05:35:22)
最高級のクオリティーとクラフトマンシップを堅持し、様々なレザーコ
jjkxuaqkwpdlwo (2014-09-20 04:07:57)
小さい子ども二人も連れていると、バタバタして忘れたりしやすいし1ӝ
WRuoHFtaim (2014-09-20 02:05:23)
Within the event equipped to pay gigantic cost which you can speak to a basketball game providers. Nonetheless facial mask attained viewed as a cage/helmet combo however , alike in multiple ways, a make of disruption between the two ones. Claire jones i h
eqyubyicmbprfl (2014-09-19 15:05:26)
Specific second pills will launch present when sept which is termed"Gemstone no list, The exact third pill will launch around december this is referred to as"Schokofarbene Stilettos" As well as the 4th and ending supplement will launch the nex
ooeekhwnkcdqot (2014-09-19 11:03:12)
ペンや口紅、ガムや印鑑など細かなものを直接ビジネスバッグの中に入
lmlnocjnaryzvz (2014-09-19 08:17:41)
新しいお客さんが来たのかと思ったみたいやけど、父の後一口残ってた
lwqshilzpinadf (2014-09-19 08:17:41)
一方、そんな賢いアヒルとは知らない奥さんのケティ(サンディ・ダン
xfqdptilswfctc (2014-09-19 07:03:34)
そうすると過去の未練としての母親が消えてしまった理由が分かります
ewmylpgqilzpuf (2014-09-19 04:09:03)
全国一律500円です1回のご注文金額3,000円(税込)以上で無料とさせていたӖ

View all comments
(C) Copyright 2009 dontevenreply.com | Privacy Policy | Advertise | Hosting provided by Apis Networks