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Free Diseases
Posted at: 2009-09-18 09:18:27
Original ad:
Looking for someone with chicken pox or shingles to expose to my two children. If you are still contagious and want to help, email or call ***-***-*****.
From Me to ************@***********.org

Hello,

I saw your ad and realized I could help. I have shingles right now, and the doctors tell me that it is still in the contagious stage. I live in South Bend. I would be able to visit your kids, or if you want to bring them to me, that works too. I took some sick days off from my job, so I am pretty much free any time.

Mike

From Jenn ******** to Me:

Mike thank you so much! I want my kids to be exposed before they have to go back to school so I would like to do this ASAP. How does tomorrow sound?

From Me to Jenn ********:

Jenn,

Tomorrow works for me. How do we do this? Do I just sneeze and cough on your kids or something?

Mike

From Jenn ******** to Me:

Hi Mike,

They should just be in your presence for a few minutes. Where in South Bend are you located? I can drive to you. Do you have a number you can be reached at?

From Me to Jenn ********:

Jenn,

I do have a phone, but I only have like 10 minutes left on my plan until September, and I need those minutes for ordering pizza. Lets just continue via e-mail. I live in LaSalle Park, are you familiar with it?

Also, it probably isn't a big deal, but I figured it is worth mentioning that I also have pulmonary tuberculosis right now. I hope this won't be a problem. It is probably better for your kids to get that out of the way too - it can be a real pain when you are older.

What time do you want to meet tomorrow?

Mike

From Jenn ******** to Me:

I don't want my kids to have TB. Thank you for trying to help but I am going to find someone else.

From Me to Jenn ********:

Jenn,

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you away with that. Pulmonary TB isn't that bad, and it is best if your kids get it over with when they are younger. You may as well knock it out at the same time as the chicken pox.

If you want, I can throw in malaria for an extra $50. My friend Tom just got back from Africa and I can have him come over and give it to your kids as well. He got all sorts of whacky diseases when he was in Africa. You might want your kids to get them too, just so they won't get them later if they ever visit Africa.

Mike

From Jenn ******** to Me:

Mike are you aware that TB and malaria don't work that way? People can't just "get it over with" those are very serious diseases.

From Me to Jenn ********:

Jenn,

I think I know how TB works, I have it (duh).

I just assumed you were one of those mothers who wanted to have sick children to attract pity and attention from others. Malaria is a great way to get pity from other moms! You'll be the most talked about mother in your neighborhood. You could brag about it to all the other mothers when they are going on about their sick kids - "*sigh* life is so hard with my husband at work, and my poor son has the flu."
"Oh yeah? Well my two kids have fucking malaria. Suck it."

You'll be the envy of your whole clique of mothers.

Please reconsider my offer.

Mike

From Jenn ******** to Me:

How rude. I want my kids to get chicken pox while they are young for the medical benefits, not for attention.

You have problems, Mike. Seek professional help immediately.
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Showing comments 1-25. View all comments
Sgwgw (2013-12-09 14:13:16)
Yeah what a nut, I'd better carelessly give my kids vaccines I know nothing of full of dangerous adjuvants since they're babies, for minor deseases, just because I'm told so! I love America, where being brainwashed is a sign of sanity!
Beck (2013-10-13 17:28:00)
Probably an anti-vaccination nut who won't get her kids the vaccine for Chicken Pox but has no problem exposing them to some random she meets on the Internet. What an idiot.
Rexexcand (2013-06-09 15:59:36)
Отличительной особенностью смартфонов и планшетов, которые работают на платформе операционки Андроид, является то, что эти самые гаджеты чрезвычайно функциональны. В них устанавливаются приложения, программы, игры, темы и дополнения любой направленности,
WORNOSEGOFS (2013-06-05 03:27:50)
Сейчас специальность дизайнера широко востребована. От строительства и до дизайна детских вещей – везде требуются люди, владеющие такими знаниями. Но более всего востребованы дизайнеры веб-приложений. Сеть просто пестрит запросами: нужны веб–дизайнеры и р
fefTriela (2013-05-30 11:53:16)
Многие люди, которым приходится каждый день вставать рано утром и отправляться на работу за мизирную зарплату, выполняя большое количество самых разных обязанностей и поручений, которые не всё время имеют прямое отношение к занимаемой должности, решают на
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Craigslist disease (2013-04-10 21:31:03)
"You have problems", says the woman who's asking complete strangers to give her children a disease.
English Bond (2013-04-03 21:53:24)
I love how at least a fourth of the comments on here are about "Your mom" sucking the posters dick, and in horrid grammar might I add.
oriptrizEmilt (2013-03-30 01:43:23)
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robert jose (2013-03-22 22:31:34)
I love licking your mothers asshole with a deep fried baseball bat rammed deep inside her asshole til you can see it bulging out inside her stomach... and can we ad herpes pregnancy vaginal discharges.
fili (2013-03-15 13:14:22)
i can't believe that bitch wants her children to get ill. I mean, there's vaccines and all that kind of shit but no, she wants someone to fucking cough all over her children. And on top of that she says 'you have problems, seek for help' l
Annelou (2013-03-03 14:42:07)
Hahahaha, funny!
TigerladyNZ (2013-02-06 20:08:21)
"You'll be the envy of your whole clique of mothers." Mьnchausen syndrome by proxy was never funny until now.
MUFC4LIFE (2012-12-24 17:57:47)
@GENERIC THOWAWAY, Jeez, r u 4 real? I thought I knew sum retarded people, but you sir take the biscuit. Straitjacket for u lad
hahahaha :) (2012-12-23 18:00:40)
I think I know how TB works, I have it (duh). Fucking pissed myself laughing at that bit.
Ashley (2012-11-29 15:17:46)
Shingles is also known as herpes zoster. It affects the.nerves, and causes excruciating pain. Usually, those who get it are older. After having chicken pox, it is alive in you. It is very dangerous for children.
@GENERIC THOWAWAY (2012-11-27 13:47:27)
that's not chicken pox, that's something else. dont know what it's called in english though, but look it up. it's not dangerous i believe, dont worry
anonymous (2012-11-01 17:36:54)
you are so fucking funny do you think you can hire me im a downsizeer i move into small towns with a pop of 4000 or less then when i leave 4 months later it has 3000 people just go missing or kill them selves by stabbing them selves 5 times in the back
bambam (2012-11-01 15:42:18)
"I think I know how TB works, I have it (duh)." I JUST FUCKING PISSED MY PANTS I LAUGHED SO HARD
Vem (2012-10-30 01:45:46)
Not sure about shingles, but if kids are exposed to chickenpox as, well, kids, then it usually prevents them from getting it much worse when they are older.
Grand T (2012-10-18 15:06:41)
What a crazy woman... She realy wants her kids to become sick??? She's nuts... Never heard that kind of shit.
Wat (2012-10-05 05:06:18)
She does realize that shingles can kill someone, right?

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