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Hummer Rideshare
Posted at: 2009-06-09 18:55:11
Original ad:
looking for a ride from wilmington to manhattan next wednesday, any time during the day is good. I will pay for all of your gas as compensation.
From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.org

Hello,

I am driving to NYC for a business meeting around 10 AM on Wednesday and would be able to give you a ride. Let me know if you still need one.

Mike

From Chris ******* to Me

mike, that sounds great. where do you want to meet to pick me up? i can meet you anywhere in wilmington. also, how much do you want for gas?

chris

Mike Anderson to Chris *******

Chris,

I shouldn't need too much money for gas. I drive a Hummer H2 with a swapped motor, so gas really isn't a problem. It gets about 4 MPG highway and only takes premium, so I'd say about $100 should cover it.

Mike

From Chris ******* to Me

what do you mean gas isnt a problem? 4 mpg is ridiculous. I was expecting to pay like 20 or 30 bucks tops! sorry but I'll have to pass

Mike Anderson to Chris ********

If you only want to pay 30 bucks, that can get you as far as Exit 7 on the Jersey Turnpike. I can drop you off there, and you can hitchhike the rest of the way. I'm pretty sure hitchhiking is still legal in NJ so it shouldn't be a problem for you. I can pick you up on Naaman's Road in Wilmington by the Target shopping center around 9:30.

From Chris ******* to Me

are you serious? no I dont want to be dropped off in the middle of the turnpike. forget it

Mike Anderson to Chris ********

Okay, I can give you a ride to Manhattan for $30, but in return, we need to stop at this guy's house in New Brunswick to get some money that he owes me. He's been dodging my calls, so he probably won't be too willing to give the money when we show up at his house. I need you to stand there and look intimidating so he realizes we mean business. How big are you? You should be at least 5'11 and 200 lbs. You can bring a big friend if you are scrawny, but you should ask him to throw up some gas money too.

From Chris ******* to Me

what the fuck is wrong with you? you sound like a drug dealer. i dont want to ride to manhattan with you

Mike Anderson to Chris ********

Chris, I'm sorry that you have turned down my ride. I think you should change your ad on ********** to avoid any further confusion. I re-wrote it for you so all you have to do is click "edit" and then paste this where the original ad is:

"scrawny man, not capable of intimidating people, looking for a ride from wilmington to new york. not willing to be reasonable in compensation for gas. will most likely complain about stupid stuff the whole ride up"

From Chris ******* to Me

fuck off asshole
Share    
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ted and oscar are hungry
MJ (2013-02-26 20:07:07)
"Gas isn't a problem..." Hahahahahaha!!!! Totally covers up how terrible his MPG is by minimizing it up front. #hilarious
Helping hand (2013-02-14 08:59:10)
If you want to do trolls like this, the website he uses to find all these requests is craigslist for anyone wondering.
TigerladyNZ (2013-02-07 23:14:51)
Love the edited ad - brilliant
NZ Kiwi (2012-12-28 22:28:55)
Had me at Hummer... lmfao
lolol (2012-05-11 13:37:19)
Funny due
8^P (2012-05-03 14:39:18)
"scrawny man, not capable of intimidating people, looking for a ride from wilmington to new york. not willing to be reasonable in compensation for gas. will most likely complain about stupid stuff the whole ride up"....well played
anonymous (2012-03-01 17:53:23)
the ********** is probably craigslist
John la Joe (2012-01-21 13:05:54)
By the way. I live in my mom's basement.
John la Joe (2011-12-05 01:18:49)
Women are stupid and i don't respect them, thats right i just have sex with them! show me ur genitals, ur genitals, show me ur genitals, ur genitalia!!
anonymous (2011-12-05 01:16:31)
@fuck of and @ @wom are you guys fucking retarded?
Fuck off (2011-08-06 04:00:56)
@Wom You're fucking stupid.
@wom (2011-07-20 16:12:28)
fuck you your probably a gay gay who loves to be butt fucked
wom (2011-07-02 01:43:55)
also: i thumb my own ass and sniff my fingers for fun.
wom (2011-06-28 11:14:14)
Women are stupid. They feel any slight against a women is like a personal attack against themselves. Men, we just laugh when another man is harassed because damnit, the mother fucker probably deserves it.
Emails from an ASS.. (2011-06-09 02:52:20)
no one has problems with this one where he attacks a scrawny men...
jezabel (2011-06-08 13:47:06)
this is soooo hilarious, that's my kind of humor!! ahahahahahahahahaahahah
no imp (2011-05-25 12:06:38)
'scrawny man, not capable' whoehahehehe!
WishfulWednesday (2011-05-22 01:45:36)
Haha I love that I know where that Target is!
for ty (2011-04-18 19:59:36)
you wish you could get more dicks in your mouth without spilling so much sperm and having your mum complain about stained sheets
chicoboy (2011-03-29 01:22:34)
even a Prussian redneck can laugh about these hilarious exchanges / real or not!
anonymous (2011-02-16 05:06:15)
wow this stuff is golden! shiny too!
Antonio (2011-01-15 05:22:44)
Haha nice :D
for chrismonster (2010-12-10 13:10:49)
he is not your mate fag
for ty (2010-12-10 13:08:32)
naa,you want to get in guys pants
Sarah (2010-10-04 22:05:01)
Haha, jesus christ. awesome!
Daniel (2010-08-19 22:07:56)
Probably one of the best right here
son (2010-07-30 08:16:14)
you get under my skin ty you fucking cunt
Vlad (2010-07-28 02:08:45)
LMAO @ the edited ad :)
Quartrez (2010-07-17 20:48:12)
lol the edited ad
Acura (2010-07-06 08:27:57)
Lol
ty (2010-06-24 19:13:38)
i wish i could get under people's skin like that. fuckin awesome.
CC (2010-06-13 08:27:14)
"...not capable of intimidating people...". Hilarious!
Chrismonster (2010-05-11 02:50:10)
I love how most of these end up with Mike criticizing the person's masculinity and such, and they always get pissed off and flustered. XD Great work, mate, keep it going!
Dita (2010-02-17 20:57:21)
As far as I'm concerned, if he's writing both parts he is all the funnier. Who cares? I read it to laugh, not determine it's contextual accuracy.
shakeem (2010-02-11 17:42:46)
Hahhahha omg this is too funny.
Joey Stacks (2010-01-23 16:04:52)
this guy does have a book coming out
VJ (2010-01-07 05:50:20)
man .. I have a suggestion for you. Compile this stuff , each one is a masterpiece in itself. Publish a book and I swear it'll sell like crazy.
NSO (2010-01-06 15:59:43)
EPIC!
pat (2010-01-05 23:37:47)
i cried at the ending "scrawny guy not capable of intimidating anyone"
Mo! (2009-11-05 17:49:39)
Mike,you are a GENIUS,YOU BASTARD!I love your shit,man!
Sean (2009-11-03 17:39:08)
I cried, that ending was classic!!
Enrico Palatzo (2009-10-28 21:56:43)
lol change your ad on **********. Wonder what that is!
Rob (2009-10-17 17:41:00)
I just read this twice and laughed my ass off both times!
Onycha (2009-10-14 18:10:23)
I laughed so much i cried. Thank God this site isnt blocked on work computers!
emilio escobar (2009-10-08 21:56:58)
Who cares if it's real or fake. It's funny so enjoy it
Mike (2009-09-28 20:16:26)
No as far as their graduation certificates show. They all got "Whore Licences" Earned at your mother's brothel for helping her have sex with more than 100 guys.
dirtygirl420 (2009-09-22 15:01:54)
Seriously, were some of you educated in a fucking trailer by your half retarded uncle? How do you spell a word like "waste" wrong? Or "soaps" ... WTF!
SozTired (2009-09-22 02:11:27)
I wanna go to bed but this shit is keeping me up!
UNCLE JOEY (2009-09-17 16:01:15)
I'm somewhat convinced the writer of these e-mails is also contributing to these commments just to further fuck with peoples heads
kara (2009-09-14 18:22:19)
shut up. is funny wether its fake or not. and of course the comments are real or how would you have posted. ur retarded
bigbow714 (2009-09-12 23:52:06)
What if....? These E-mails were not the only things that are fake. What if ALL of these comments are fake too?! Mind=Blown
baba (2009-09-08 15:41:55)
sure it's fake YO so why wast time reading it.You probly watch sopes also. I guess there real?
baba (2009-09-08 15:37:29)
Mike ya should get ahole au ms/mr perfect speller nex
continued... (2009-09-05 05:51:00)
best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best
I thought this was t (2009-09-05 05:50:33)
I thought this was the best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best be
Ridiculous Comment (2009-09-02 01:43:20)
"Sheepcanlove (2009-08-18 01:54:26) hhahaha i just peed in my own mouth!" what the heck?
lilshrty (2009-09-01 08:35:16)
you sound sexy. a/s/l? dtf?
yea (2009-08-26 13:26:52)
Who cares if its fake, its hilarious stuff! BTW why would he bother sitting there and making up fake emails? It's not exactly hard to create a bogus email account and troll wanted ad's. It also doesn't take a genius to come up with somethin
Yadda (2009-08-19 16:08:44)
All funny but clearly the majority of these are fakes. He wrote both sides. Regardless it's pretty damn funny.
Sheepcanlove (2009-08-18 01:54:26)
hhahaha i just peed in my own mouth!
Raul (2009-08-14 17:28:46)
absolutely brilliant
spellingbee (2009-08-11 17:40:31)
hey janos, "genious" isn't a word, I think you are trying to spell genius, which you obviously are NOT.
BK (2009-08-11 10:24:14)
You should be writing movie scripts
tommy (2009-08-11 02:09:51)
DUDE!!!! hahahahaha this is rediculous lol
Mary (2009-08-10 15:17:37)
I laughed so hard I was crying!!!
Tony B (2009-08-07 20:50:43)
fuckin amazing!!
fake or not (2009-08-01 22:33:40)
theyre still fuckin funny
janos (2009-07-31 02:32:55)
people who claim this is fake...wtf, think about it, if its real, the man is a genious...if its fake, for me, the man is even more a genious!
anonymous (2009-07-30 18:47:29)
I am crying lol!
mgmt (2009-07-30 18:12:30)
they do have a certain pattern to them that's beginning to feel fake. however, this one was pretty funny.
a (2009-07-29 14:35:56)
obviously these are fake...but nonetheless very creative.
Wectal Wegion (2009-07-26 18:37:02)
Very interesting twist here. Usually the person who is looking for a ride offers the hummer.
ds (2009-07-24 23:46:12)
zas
anonymous (2009-07-24 23:46:07)
zas
Nick (2009-07-23 17:11:19)
Wow, started reading these at work, Genius!
Bret (2009-07-23 13:26:31)
i cant stop laughing at work!
shawn (2009-07-23 00:13:39)
GOLD!
anonymous (2009-07-22 16:48:11)
Besst one by a long shot
Rutabaker (2009-07-17 17:16:44)
how do you know it's fake, yo? it could be fake, but you sure as hell don't know.
Austin (2009-07-17 17:04:18)
friggn hilarious
sometimesreply (2009-07-17 16:40:04)
who cares if it's fake? it's still fun reading.
yo (2009-07-16 20:52:01)
this is fake you stupid turds
J (2009-07-16 17:21:06)
what i dont understand is why people post on
You are awesome! (2009-07-14 01:28:41)
"If you only want to pay 30 bucks, that can get you as far as Exit 7 on the Jersey Turnpike. I can drop you off there, and you can hitchhike the rest of the way..." I lost it right there! TOO Fucking funny!!! :-D
dave (2009-07-10 16:21:51)
I was gonna forward this to my dad, but then decided not to since he's got a heart condition.
John Fonda (2009-07-10 15:41:47)
will most likely complain about stupid stuff the whole ride up"
oxygen, please... (2009-07-10 01:24:59)
wow. can't stop laughing
mac (2009-07-08 16:08:56)
Funny shit. Best one yet
big fan (2009-07-07 00:22:48)
What happened to the illeagal yard sale? that one was one of the best!!!
Steven Larkin (2009-06-29 17:36:01)
I FUCKING LOVE THIS SITE. Mike, you're my hero. This site seriously took my day away and I've loved every minute of it. lmfao
hannibal_lecture (2009-06-25 17:51:44)
Omg, these are awesome..... I am going see if this as much fun first person. And you really should take submissions. Hahahahahahahaha
ROFL (2009-06-25 05:43:32)
I'm crying
monkeyshines (2009-06-24 22:33:24)
fucking awesome
Vlad (2009-06-24 14:58:40)
This is ridiculous. I can't read the end without losing it. You're a legend my man
anon (2009-06-24 07:06:34)
Shit is so cash hahaha.
CherryPie (2009-06-23 18:41:15)
"If you only want to pay 30 bucks, that can get you as far as Exit 7 on the Jersey Turnpike" <== Lmfaooo thats halarious im weak!! lol
[Insert Name] (2009-06-23 03:25:18)
If you are advertising that you need a ride on the internet, then you are bound to be screwed with
cabeer (2009-06-21 16:04:07)
hahhahahahaha omgggggg i'm currently dying on a bus at this, trying not to disrupt everyone around me. this is genius.
JoeyMossberg (2009-06-21 13:43:12)
Holy shit this is funny
anonymous (2009-06-21 10:33:31)
OOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMFFFFFFFFFFFFFFGGGG my mind is blown by the extreme concentration of pure awesome on this website
Lucky (2009-06-21 03:44:22)
DELAWARE!!! fuck it, let's go to the Concord Mall!
zach effron (2009-06-20 21:21:35)
I'm gay for the jonas brothers. People should know that I rape kids.
Floris (2009-06-20 15:50:18)
Dude, I got tears of laughing. Your bookmarked!
Joe (2009-06-20 15:20:00)
"will most likely complain about stupid stuff the whole ride up" That just makes it right there
anonymous (2009-06-20 08:05:52)
reading this makes you a better person.
anonymous (2009-06-20 02:34:47)
hahaha ah this is a good one
Waseem (2009-06-20 01:34:35)
I can't go to sleep. These things are amazing. Just genius.
Meowmix (2009-06-19 18:49:36)
HA! The revised ad you wrote was fucking great
A (2009-06-18 16:33:18)
I was supposed to take my lunch break an hour ago but these are too goddamn funny! keep it up mike
pphunk (2009-06-18 13:24:28)
bwahahaha...i'm in tears
me (2009-06-18 10:49:20)
I laughed so much at this one - very funny shit. If I knew what facepage and that shit was I'd put you up on mine as top of the charts.
Chris (2009-06-18 08:06:08)
o my god, i can't believe this was a joke!! you got me good mike, you got me good :D
Ryan (2009-06-18 06:29:19)
Mike, you beat Maddox hands down!
db2009 (2009-06-18 01:05:37)
This is quite possibly the funniest stuff I've ever read in my life. I've never laughed so hard!
evilbitxx (2009-06-17 23:31:02)
I am in LOVE! LoL
anonymous (2009-06-17 15:39:41)
Epic! :D
LOL right now (2009-06-17 15:04:27)
This guy is brilliant. Keep it up!
Dano (2009-06-17 14:35:20)
These are fucking awesome
LOL (2009-06-17 14:05:02)
LMAO
cynn89 (2009-06-17 05:42:42)
same... euu r bookmarked forever in my facebook
richarquis (2009-06-17 05:17:14)
awesome. fucking awesome. you are bookmarked forever in my browser.
mike anderson (2009-06-13 11:22:19)
although I am familiar with wilmington and that targetmaster, I do not live there any more. thanks for the offer though
UpToNoGood (2009-06-13 05:29:17)
Definitely your best work. I'm wiping away tears as I write this.
Jake (2009-06-13 02:31:38)
You sir, are a hero.
great (2009-06-12 22:46:48)
..another smart ass in the area. ..how 'bout we meet at Naaman's Creek Road at the WaWa across from the old Cuisine's restaurant and then we'll go down to Targetmaster and talk about your funnay innernet exploits..
Mango (2009-06-12 22:34:23)
Mike, you are so beyond funny. Seriously. Don't ever stop! Do you let the people know they've unknowingly participated in the e-mail version of Candid Camera?
Ricardo (2009-06-12 19:30:58)
Classic stuff.

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