Cemented Couch
Posted at: 2009-06-12 01:49:33
Original ad:
FREE COUCH! i have a free plaid couch on the curb outside my house. the address is 39 ******* rd come and get it!
From Mike Anderson to **********@*******.org
Hey. I am tired of driving down ******* and seeing your ugly couch. It is ruining the neighborhood. What the hell were you thinking when you bought that? Nobody is going to want that thing! It better not be there when I drive past tomorrow.
From ************@gmail.com to Me
if you dont like it why dont u come and fuckin get it. tough shit if u dont like seeing it. its only been out there 1 day!
From Mike Anderson to ************@gmail.com
One day too many. I don't want your shitty couch. Maybe I would if I was a Scottish guy living in the 70's, but I'm not. That couch looks like what would happen if a parrot and a rhino fucked and had a freak baby, and then that baby grew up and then took a shit on your curb. Why don't you pay someone to haul that piece of shit away?
From ************@gmail.com to Me
fuck you buddy! tough shit. drive a different way
From Mike Anderson to ************@gmail.com
I like going that way because it is scenic. Well, at least it was until you put that pile of shit out there. If it is stil there tomorrow, I am going to come back during the night and cement it to your driveway.
From ************@gmail.com to Me
COME AND TRY IT MOTHERFUCKER ILL BE WAITING
Comments:
lettiaaa (2010-01-28 05:16:59)
From Mike Anderson to ************@gmail.com
One day too many. I don't want your shitty couch. Maybe I would if I was a Scottish guy living in the 70's, but I'm not. That couch looks like what would happen if a parrot and a rhino fucked and
Mynameismike2 (2010-01-11 01:06:31)
Fuck your couch nigger
gainiubobarma (2010-01-10 05:55:48)
Where is a good place to sale my old wrecked car? Please help me by sugesting some sites or companies.
gainiubobarma (2010-01-09 20:33:36)
Where is a good place to sale my old wrecked car? Please help me by sugesting some sites or companies.
Joel (2010-01-07 17:31:52)
:D thats so fucking funny!! parrot and a rhino..
Lulzerneuser (2010-01-05 23:54:11)
I am laughing so hard at the idea of some guying sitting on the curb with a baseball bat ^_^
ROFL!!! (2009-12-20 05:48:37)
Image: a guy waiting outside on his old couch all night with a shotgun xP
Paulo (2009-12-10 12:43:07)
Oooh man too funny, the parrot rhino part is fuckin hilarious!!! How do I rate it to get to the tops???
AutismMom (2009-12-04 08:53:33)
OMG, that is definately the funniest one I've read yet. I still can't quit laughing!
Julie (2009-11-29 02:13:41)
ha I like how the baby had to grow up to be able to take a shit.
only2 (2009-11-28 01:46:42)
i read all othe comments and saw 2 complaints NEW RECORED
Crest (2009-11-27 23:19:40)
Hahahahahahahahaha!!!
christen (2009-11-25 23:59:28)
I just died of laughter
DarceyBlackwell (2009-11-25 03:06:57)
"Hey guy's how's it going! I hope all is well..just thought I'd make a post introducing my self and to share a bit about my self, I'm 24 years old...Im orginally from Canada but I moved here about 6months ago..I have a pretty exciting
egads (2009-11-24 15:31:46)
lol aww, the poor guy sounded so angry..hahahahaa.
Hmm (2009-11-23 17:58:27)
@ Face, you dont see whats funny because you fucking suck
Kat (2009-11-20 12:20:38)
I love the person's taunt at the end! I wonder if they were watching through their Venetian blinds all day, waiting...
Dying (2009-11-18 19:09:42)
Man, I've got to stop eating while reading these, I am going to choke one of these times.
sweetjoe (2009-11-18 17:37:08)
It's kind of like Pineapple Express, but the total opposite. I think Mike should have really gone by to cement that pile of shit to the driveway. . . I woulda
bornto (2009-10-22 00:37:41)
"That couch looks like what would happen if a parrot and a rhino fucked and had a freak baby, and then that baby grew up and then took a shit on your curb" pure genious!
face (2009-10-08 16:55:36)
i dont see whats so funny??
PwnyBoy (2009-10-07 17:57:16)
There's a fine line when you end up causing a victim to do something more out of the ordinary than sending an email, and it needs to be crossed.
Margot (2009-10-05 00:31:49)
My favorite. I love that he's going to be awake all night waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And possibly playing the banjo.
unknown fan (2009-10-04 19:55:24)
LOL!!!! WOW GOOD SHIT!!!
Al (2009-10-04 04:59:00)
Best One ever ROOOOOOOOOOOOFLLLL
the wolf (2009-09-30 16:23:56)
damn man. i started laughing so hard that i actually disturbed people i'm working near. priceless.
Gundosiyu (2009-09-29 10:19:37)
Aloha! vdk
a (2009-09-26 15:50:27)
@Kwakwaversal Actually I bet he didn't.
Kwakwaversal (2009-09-25 07:48:38)
I actually bet that guy bought a gun and everything, then waited for Mike to arrive to cement it to the floor.
anonymous (2009-09-23 17:01:39)
OMG I'm trying so hard not to bust out laughing. People at work already think I'm nuts...
Snap (2009-09-16 22:42:21)
Hahaha, I wonder if she sat out on her porch all night in a rocking chair with a shotgun.
No name (2009-09-15 19:55:13)
Top rate this one.
Red (2009-09-11 15:37:42)
I know that Scottish guy from the 70's!!
Optimoman (2009-09-10 09:59:25)
The one that made me really laugh. Holy Shit!
Anna (2009-09-10 00:42:01)
holy shit, I actually laughed out loud.
MiRandom (2009-09-07 00:58:48)
I am laughing so hard I'm crying.
Benny (2009-09-06 10:01:20)
How is this not Top Rated?
"That couch looks like what would happen if a parrot and a rhino fucked and had a freak baby, and then that baby grew up and then took a shit on your curb."
hahaha
MaM (2009-09-03 23:47:30)
i almost died laughin
anonymous (2009-09-02 11:00:55)
hahahahahaha omg he got really angsty!
Frenchfan (2009-08-30 17:28:14)
ENORMOUS, j'adore !!!
iB (2009-08-30 16:44:47)
AHAHAHHAAH
B3rt0 (2009-08-26 19:29:51)
Just hilarious, even if it's fake
Kman (2009-08-26 13:04:59)
a parrot and a rhino fucked and had a freak baby, and then that baby grew up and then took a shit on your curb. Come on man..Freaking Brilliant!
colonel sanders (2009-08-25 03:05:45)
HAHAHHAHAHHAA
Shaiyne (2009-08-21 16:00:59)
1) I really hope you checked to see if he was waiting. You should have driven by in a cement truck.
2) This needs to be in Top Rated. Killed myself laughing. Mad props.
Best ever (2009-08-20 13:55:05)
Hahahahahahahahaha i couldt stop laugh for like 10 minutes, that was the best one ever!!
Travis (2009-08-19 17:12:46)
I fucking lost it when he said he would be waiting, the rest wasn't funny but the last line was great! I've been laughing for minutes
anonymous (2009-08-17 14:57:12)
"COME AND TRY IT MOTHERFUCKER ILL BE WAITING"
Did you check, was he waiting?
ph0 (2009-08-17 10:45:30)
"If it is stil there tomorrow, I am going to come back during the night and cement it to your driveway." -Fucking hilarious.
anonymous (2009-08-17 10:45:15)
"If it is stil there tomorrow, I am going to come back during the night and cement it to your driveway." -Fucking hilarious.
yes. (2009-08-17 09:18:07)
I wish to subscribe to your newsletter and/or religion.
Blake (2009-08-15 03:54:43)
HOLY CRAP Thats gotta be the funniest crap ive ever herd i was non stop loling for 5 mins. made ma day
lolwut (2009-08-14 21:00:06)
I am 12 and what is this?
TBoNer (2009-08-13 15:28:25)
lol I bet the guy stayed up all night waiting
BOOM COLT BRENNAN (2009-08-13 08:18:32)
One day too many. I don't want your shitty couch. Maybe I would if I was a Scottish guy living in the 70's, but I'm not. That couch looks like what would happen if a parrot and a rhino fucked and had a freak baby, and then that baby grew up an
ShadyatBest (2009-08-10 01:12:11)
I love this shit. This type of humor is right up my alley.
kj (2009-08-09 00:57:52)
epic win
"That couch looks like what would happen if a parrot and a rhino fucked and had a freak baby, and then that baby grew up and then took a shit on your curb." yessssssssssssssss
Kakes (2009-07-29 10:24:29)
Oh man. This is by far the best one I've read so far. All of them are hysterical but this one takes the cake.
Slaughtermelon (2009-07-29 00:29:42)
i wonder if the guy selling the couch laughed wen u said "That couch looks like what would happen if a parrot and a rhino fucked and had a freak baby, and then that baby grew up and then took a shit on your curb." i seriously cant stop laughing, i
l1qu1dsk1e (2009-07-21 03:07:46)
too funny
theBest (2009-07-19 21:29:04)
This one is the best! It should be #1. I lost it @ "I don't want your shitty couch. Maybe I would if I was a Scottish guy living in the 70's, but I'm not." Because of the plaid.... fucking hilarious
layla (2009-07-18 22:22:21)
LOL i love you
ANG (2009-07-18 16:44:10)
You are the man Mike.
r27 (2009-07-18 11:18:24)
lol xD
poor dude @_@
Waffle (2009-07-18 02:18:11)
LMAO I like how the cementing the couch would just make the ugly problem worse
MoBeats (2009-07-17 11:58:42)
buahahahahaa!! i love how the guy ends it "try it motherfucker! i'll be waiting!" ahahahahaha
Evan (2009-07-17 08:20:36)
HA!
"parrot and a rhino fucked and had a freak baby, and then that baby grew up and then took a shit on your curb"
I can't stop laughing!!!
pm-dawn (2009-07-16 12:30:31)
first
Bella (2009-07-16 08:04:16)
Haha this one's my faviorite.
roose (2009-07-15 15:06:39)
"That couch looks like what would happen if a parrot and a rhino fucked and had a freak baby, and then that baby grew up and then took a shit on your curb." LMAO
Tyler (2009-07-15 03:03:50)
Holy shit dude. When you said "I drive that way because its scenic." I lost it. I could totally see a dude saying that all stuck up lol. Keep this up dude.
Elefant Pube (2009-07-14 22:28:43)
That is some funny-ass shit, bitches!
phuck! (2009-07-13 03:55:47)
reading this + Dead Kennedys music = heaven
Dan (2009-07-12 03:56:01)
OH MY GOD, "That couch looks like what would happen if a parrot and a rhino fucked and had a freak baby, and then that baby grew up and then took a shit on your curb." I seriously laughed for a good 10 minutes. Genius!!!
<H1>LOL (2009-07-11 01:39:02)
<H1>LOL
<H1>LOL (2009-07-11 01:38:22)
<H1>LOL
Zindina (2009-07-10 00:49:28)
I have been crying from laughter for the last 10 minutes...it hurts!
killernat (2009-07-10 00:25:10)
omg epic just fucking epic ill cement it to ur drive
come and try it ill be w8ing om glololololololololol
xD (2009-07-09 21:46:27)
Man that's a fucking awesome reply by the advertiser...
monica (2009-07-09 17:17:34)
best one so far
yourbiggestfan (2009-07-09 17:07:51)
I just masterbated to that one!
BCute (2009-07-09 15:30:22)
I'll be waiting. MUAHAHAHAHAHA. I just giggled out loud at work. I'm being looked at oddly now...
dp (2009-07-09 05:58:02)
wow!
cb (2009-07-08 23:45:54)
ahahahah
anonymous (2009-07-08 21:31:52)
sooooooooooooooo good!!!!!
cass (2009-07-08 20:38:40)
hilarious!
el (2009-07-08 19:09:32)
I wonder if the guy sat outside all night waiting for you. That would be hilarious.
anonymous (2009-07-08 02:13:39)
I'm laughing so hard I can't see straight
Tyler (2009-07-07 01:12:43)
dude you're a genius. you need an rss feed. you shouldve gone just to check if he actually was guarding it.
MJ (2009-07-07 00:27:54)
COME AND TRY IT MOTHERFUCKER ILL BE WAITING
Mark J (2009-07-06 19:33:51)
By far the funniest read so far!!!
Jeff (2009-07-06 00:58:41)
cried for 3 mins
buxtoofs (2009-07-05 11:35:16)
everyone who reads this one cries with laughter...
Fat bastard (2009-07-05 06:19:41)
Pure win
random (2009-07-05 05:37:58)
wow, seriously, the who parrot rhino baby shit thing was sooooo fucking funny, hahahahaha
Dethklok (2009-07-04 12:21:11)
EPIC WIN! I love this one the most out of the whole website so far!
ww (2009-07-03 18:12:33)
omg hahahahahah i laughed so hard
anonymous (2009-07-02 20:38:17)
hahahah imagine him explaining himself to his wife. "what are you doing honey?" .. "I gotta guard the couch to make sure nobody cements it to our fucking driveway!"
Mo (2009-07-02 20:10:52)
I can just imagine the scene! A guy sitting in a lawn chair in his driveway for a few hours, getting ready to duke it out with a guy wielding a bag of cement.
anonymous (2009-07-02 01:39:59)
these are too funny!
anonymous (2009-06-30 12:04:21)
just fartet from laughing!
roflsausage (2009-06-28 18:42:59)
lol'd Hard
anonymous (2009-06-27 16:29:34)
hahahahahahaha.
DC (2009-06-27 00:56:46)
pure butter
anonymous (2009-06-24 02:10:03)
ok, now THIS is my fave....fuck I am never gonna get any sleep now, I have to read every damn one of these.
DeviousOne (2009-06-23 19:54:56)
I really hope he is actually sitting out there waiting like a hurtbag.
DeviousOne (2009-06-23 19:54:05)
I actually really liked his response. Motherfucker had gusto.
anonymous (2009-06-23 16:18:32)
wow!!!
this guy is damn funny!
anonymous (2009-06-23 02:12:23)
"cement it to your driveway"
fett (2009-06-23 00:54:51)
crying this is so funny!
anonymous (2009-06-22 20:55:36)
lmao! :D
Oovan (2009-06-22 10:05:48)
coffee all over the computer. nuff said.
Vamos (2009-06-22 07:31:56)
First you want it removed and then you threathen him to cement it to the driveway.. Hi-fucking-larious!
humpty dumpty (2009-06-22 04:22:17)
parrot and a rhino fucked and had a freak baby, and then that baby grew up and then took a shit on your curb LMFAO BEST PART
J (2009-06-21 22:52:49)
oh man thats fuckin awesome.
Drew23 (2009-06-21 20:44:01)
hahaha I haven't laughed so hard in a long time
Robndahoodrich (2009-06-21 17:25:54)
OMG yes!
cabeera (2009-06-21 15:56:12)
hahahaha why is this stuff so funny
Vinnie (2009-06-21 11:58:03)
2 words:Fuckin'awesome!
trini (2009-06-20 22:19:48)
The guy says that he'll be waiting!!!! ROFL!!!!!! what a dumbass!!!
blondish (2009-06-20 16:21:16)
Jesus I sat here and read every one of them in one sitting, you're BRILLIANT. :))
anonymous (2009-06-20 07:59:46)
fucking epic.
Derryl (2009-06-20 02:43:28)
i literally just drooled on myself, i dont think thats ever happened to me before
Hash Gordon (2009-06-20 01:36:48)
Now this line takes the whole fuckin' cake:
COME AND TRY IT MOTHERFUCKER ILL BE WAITING
trini (2009-06-20 01:28:00)
LMAO!!! I have to stop reading these at night cause I'll wake up the neighborhood from laughing!!!
F*king Funny (2009-06-19 23:57:45)
Oh man! You're one funny fucker! That's a compliment!
URAFnGenius (2009-06-19 23:14:35)
I started laughing so hard I was crying right around: And then that baby grew up and then took a shit on your curb
skinny kid (2009-06-19 22:42:53)
omg this website is the best keep it up.
anonymous (2009-06-19 19:53:07)
lmfao
anonymous (2009-06-19 18:59:56)
i have some cement
jamie (2009-06-19 13:02:29)
he should've told him he was going to set it on fire
eh (2009-06-19 11:44:34)
you are a seriously bad person but these are indeed funny. also, isn't it kind of sad that someone spends this much time doing this. wow.
Funky Dood (2009-06-18 19:29:31)
YOU are AWESOME!!! I am laughing so damn hard right now, I'm afraid I'm going to hurt myself!!
goat roper (2009-06-18 16:54:07)
I was laughing aloud on theplane today - I think it was when reading the "pube" or "whore wife for Wrangler" emails. You're one twisted puppy and I love it!
anonymous (2009-06-18 11:44:07)
awesome
Jordan (2009-06-18 02:58:32)
These are funny, but they could still be fake. You are very creative though.
anonymous (2009-06-17 23:49:12)
Rarely do things online actually make me LOL... but I can honestly say that this did.
Brilliant!
rude (2009-06-17 21:04:20)
this is so rude. not even funny. mike you're an asshole.
dying (2009-06-17 19:04:43)
I can't handle this, so fucking funny! Tears streaming
Jiggles (2009-06-17 18:55:57)
Thanks a lot, motherfucker. You made me shoot hot coffee through my nose. I thought you would want to know.
yes (2009-06-17 16:40:55)
the taunting is great, best prank of them all
FAN (2009-06-17 15:55:07)
I just found this site. Loving it.
Jereme (2009-06-17 14:34:37)
This guy sat outside all night, guarding a couch that he was trying to GIVE AWAY!
anonymous (2009-06-17 12:22:47)
omg I love you so much. this is hilarious.
Marshall (2009-06-16 20:06:38)
This is so fucking funny. I hope people that were owned by you find this site.
KB (2009-06-16 13:14:50)
these are hilarious! you need to keep it up and post more, they keep me occupied at work!
anonymous (2009-06-16 02:44:03)
If it is stil there tomorrow, I am going to come back during the night and cement it to your driveway.
Highlight of this entry
VD (2009-06-15 14:29:08)
These are all great, I love this one especially though. A parrot and a fucking rhino.
Parliament (2009-06-15 11:37:55)
Please keep doing this. You are funny. Not as funny as Moe but funny none the less.
anonymous (2009-06-15 11:37:55)
anonymous (2009-06-14 09:55:17)
"COME AND TRY IT MOTHERFUCKER ILL BE WAITING"
this guy gets so raged.
anonymous (2009-06-13 19:46:23)
YOU NEED AN RSS FEED. this is fucking classic material.
rabinpro (2009-06-13 17:23:54)
i fucking fell off my computer chair. This is too much funny. Keep it up
A (2009-06-13 14:42:47)
Man, you need to add an rss feed to help keep track of your site, thanks.
Lothar (2009-06-13 10:47:46)
Hahaha, great stuff !
james (2009-06-13 08:44:54)
I just found this site. Funny stuff, really. Could you put an RSS feed so it's easier for me (us) to check it? Thanks :3
ozzy (2009-06-13 05:36:36)
man, you are the best, thanks for the great emails
Priceless (2009-06-12 23:52:25)
I'm sorry. That is just too funny.
carol (2009-06-12 19:22:17)
Thanks for the great laughs! please keep this up always.
Steven Y (2009-06-12 17:13:23)
great site, but you need another domain....perhaps, CraigsPissed ?
Serious Jujar (2009-06-12 14:42:54)
Kiss my ass Punks!
KC (2009-06-12 09:48:29)
Say that to my face fucker not online and see what happens.
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